The Cat Loaf

“I’ve unchained myself from the masters I longed to be and accepted the full responsibility of showing up for myself.”

There’s a lot of things I wanted to be and a lot of leaders I’ve wanted to emulate. I’m finally seeing things a bit more clearly. It’s not like a light went on in my head. It was no aha moment. It’s the feeling when you promise to feed your cat and you say just one second let me finish these dishes. Then you clean the bathroom, then your bedroom, then you reorganize your Pokémon cards and find your cat in a loaf silently sleeping by its bowl. Yes, that one. I mean of course your cat’s not starving, but the point is you told your cat you’d be there but got caught up in busy work. That is what I’m feeling like right now. So this is more like a re-commitment to owning my life again.

I don’t feel like I’m being bludgeoned over the head. I feel a quiet welcome back to my commitments saying, “Here’s where you left off, if you’re ready.” And of course, I, the intellectual I am, must sit down (or not sit down) and ask, “Am I ready?”

Of course I’m ready. Anything other than feeding my soul is far more boring and lacks the love that touches—well, the point is yes. I’m ready. I’m ready to get back to owning my life again.