Thought and Planned

Finally in love with me. From inside the depths of my soul to my roots of curls. I’ve waited so long to feel so healthy, so healed, and so ready to take on life. I thought and planned that by the time I got here I’d be celebrating with you. Maybe you weren’t meant to be part of this celebration. Maybe all the times you made me feel like shit for healing brought us to this.

Aw well, let the celebrating commence!!!

On Writing

The first draft is just you telling yourself the story

― Terry Pratchett

What I’m struggling with is uncertainty on where my characters are going to go next. The experts say just write and what happens next will come to you. They also say write an outline or at least know your ending. I have a favored ending in mind which is confidence and self-acceptance for my characters. As I write toward my goal ending I would like to watch both characters bloom into something bigger and more beautiful than what they currently are.

Follow Up Bad Guys -On Writing

“Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful.” – Samuel Johnson (1709 – 1784), English Author, Poet, and Literary Critic and Writer

I had been thinking about the good guy vs the bad in a collection of short stories I’ve been working on, and I was reminded that in life no human is ever pure bad or pure good. What is most important when developing my characters is that I display my characters as their true selves. Whether they are good or bad doesn’t matter. As long as I display them as true as possible, they will make the choices themselves. The truth is we all teeter between being the good guy and the bad guy. And the gray area where we can’t seem to navigate is what makes us human.

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Bad Guys -On Writing

 

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Bad Guys -On Writing

You -have- to love your monster.

Philippa Dowding, Everton Miles Is Stranger Than Me: The Night Flyer’s Handboo

I’m struggling to figure out who or what I want the bad guy to be in my short stories. In a huge chunk of my short stories I tended to make my narrator the bad guy, but maybe it’s time to switch roles. Maybe it’s time for my narrator to do some things right and set some things straight. However, when I start writing it, I’m going to have to be confident in my narrator and believe she’s capable of those things. And then there’s always why switch roles now? When did the roles reverse? And has my narrator collected enough souvenirs to be consistent in her new role. Either way, she’s madly in love with her monster which makes it hard to write him as the villain.

How do you create a villain you love in your stories?

Doubt is a terrible thing -on writing

“Our doctrine is, that the author and the reader should move along together in full confidence with each other.”

Anthony Trollope, Barchester Towers

This quote really hit the nail on the head for me. I need confidence in my writing so that my readers are confident in my writing. The feeling like need a reason to write has been making me lose confidence in my short stories, when the truth is, even if I don’t feel like I’m saying something, in just writing about my character’s day to day activities is, for me, finding beauty in the mundane. On that thought, I may think it’s mundane, but not everyone has lived the lifestyle my characters live. Maybe some dream of the monotony from their chaotic lives. Others may have lived similar lives and relate on a level that can’t be easily explained. So hopefully, this will be a reminder to me to go confidently into what I feel is the mundane story so that my readers will feel confident to walk the story with me.

What kind of things help you regain confidence in your writing?

Searching for a Story -On Writing

Writing everyday is getting easier. It’s finding what I want to say that is the challenge for me. I search and read and think and talk to people and then it hits me and I write about it until it loses it’s magic. Then I’m back where I started.

It’s not that I lack inspiration. I have overwhelming amounts of that. It’s more that I want to stand for something I believe deeply in.

How I’m feeling about my writing lately

I haven’t really been able to settle into a story I’m committed to. I’ve been jumping around different short stories hoping to find one I can snuggle into or one that makes me so uncomfortable I can’t help but think about it. I’ve been using my own life, the things I want in life, fictional ideas, etc. I just don’t really feel connected to any of them. It helps when I know what I want to say.

With all that being said, I write anyway.