I watched her rise above
I watched her question who she really was
And demand who she would become
She didn’t sit still for a moment longer
She pushed through and persevered
And now her home is quiet
She worked for this peace
She stepped out and stood tall
And worked til her inside matched her outside
Til her life matched her dreams
This is her lifelong journey of becoming
This is who she is destined to be
The ground freezes
I’d have lost my footing
But over the years I left pebbles
And words and stories
To hold me steady
I still fall
But I land on poetry
I don’t think there is anything more artistic
Than landing on poetry
The world will swallow you whole without a thought
It will take your possessions
Your plans for the future
And chew it all like a cow chews cud
So plant your roots
Find your soul
And be true to who you are
There’s no other way
The caving in
I don’t expect anyone to understand this
You’ll make it
I promise you
We’ll light the way together
I’ll light the way for you
Don’t waste your time
Doubting whether this is right
Changing bad habits
Never feels right
I will stand on the shoulders of my enemies
To place the angel delicately a top my Christmas tree
Their selfish acts beside mine
Only my acts so deeply rooted by my own ancestors
That they have become a catapult
An explosion of sticky wet truth
Like an orgasm at just the right time
I will not wallow I will not beg
I will not stop until the truth spores inside so many crevices
They’ll never forget it
As long as I can put words to the way I feel, it’s free and open to the public. Unfortunately, living that way can frustrating because so many people are scared to share their own feelings.
Why would I continue to be so honest and care free with my thoughts and feelings knowing it leaves me vulnerable?
First, I know that sharing my feelings will give others the strength to share their own. Or help others to know they’re not alone in their own experiences.
Second, it helps me to have and set realistic expectations because over time expressing myself helps me learn what things bother me and what things make me smile.
And last but not least, when I’m finally around groups people who share their thoughts and feelings without fear, it’s so liberating for me. Makes me want to provide that space for people as well.
Why do you share your feelings or why don’t you?
Finally in love with me. From inside the depths of my soul to my roots of curls. I’ve waited so long to feel so healthy, so healed, and so ready to take on life. I thought and planned that by the time I got here I’d be celebrating with you. Maybe you weren’t meant to be part of this celebration. Maybe all the times you made me feel like shit for healing brought us to this.
Aw well, let the celebrating commence!!!
From the angered deep
The water sloshes
Globs of water
Thicker than waves
Youths lift fishies by the gallon
And do gooders curl up in corners
But the untamed the uncouth
They dive in
Some make it back to the boat
Others don’t survive
The first draft is just you telling yourself the story
What I’m struggling with is uncertainty on where my characters are going to go next. The experts say just write and what happens next will come to you. They also say write an outline or at least know your ending. I have a favored ending in mind which is confidence and self-acceptance for my characters. As I write toward my goal ending I would like to watch both characters bloom into something bigger and more beautiful than what they currently are.
1. Allow yourself to fall. Cry, scream, nap, do self care.
2. Get healthy. Healthy diet and exercise help with a healthy mind.
3. Talk it out. Find someone who is in a healthy place emotionally to talk it out.
4. Set goals to focus on for the next year. Not so focused they become a crutch just a means to move forward.
5. Surround yourself with communities that share your interests.
6. Trust your gut. When something doesn’t feel right, trust that. Don’t let people take advantage of your vulnerable state. If they weren’t there through the struggle chances are they won’t be there through the healing.
7. Move forward. Stay away from environments that no longer serve you. Learn the signs and patterns of toxic behaviors and set boundaries immediately so you don’t end up in the same situations over and over again.
8. Learn to be ok alone. Become your own best friend. Learn yourself. Take up hobbies. Feed your brain.
The Art of Letting Go