1. Allow yourself to fall. Cry, scream, nap, do self care.
2. Get healthy. Healthy diet and exercise help with a healthy mind.
3. Talk it out. Find someone who is in a healthy place emotionally to talk it out.
4. Set goals to focus on for the next year. Not so focused they become a crutch just a means to move forward.
5. Surround yourself with communities that share your interests.
6. Trust your gut. When something doesn’t feel right, trust that. Don’t let people take advantage of your vulnerable state. If they weren’t there through the struggle chances are they won’t be there through the healing.
7. Move forward. Stay away from environments that no longer serve you. Learn the signs and patterns of toxic behaviors and set boundaries immediately so you don’t end up in the same situations over and over again.
8. Learn to be ok alone. Become your own best friend. Learn yourself. Take up hobbies. Feed your brain.
The Art of Letting Go
I’ve softened from the wheel of time
My heart, swollen from loss
These tipped toes move through the crevice where my suicide mocks me
And life burns my loose ends
I have become the voice I died for
Her crown tossed to the floor
Neglected by my attention
What is the reason for this, but my empty stomach
Starving for more more more
While the world wastes away on a monotonous routine
step outside of it all and kiss me hard.
Don’t kiss me hard only after everything is falling apart
Kiss me hardwhen everything is going right
There’s no point in waiting
This is what life is:
connections, honesty, bravery
Show up, kiss me.
It’s not always easy,
but it makes life worth living
And these days it seems we need more reasons
to stay alive.
My motivation to write is my family. I write for our future for healing from our past. I write for our dreams and aspirations. I want the best for us. I want for us to grow together and to always share a table. Every word I hope, adds to our growth in spirit and in wisdom.
There are many times I give away my time to write. I give it and give it and give till I’m writing 10 words and starving for solitude. I know I should hang on tighter to my time to write. I should be more demanding but it’s such a slippery thing. It shifts and molds in countless ways. I grip, then I give my last five minutes and I’m left grasping at nothing. I slip away because writing isn’t something that can come or go. I, the writer am coming and going. Writing does not cry without me, I cry without it. I ache and spiral and shift when I’ve strayed too far, but it is always as I left it, blank, unfinished, or completed. But when I return I won’t be exactly the same as I was when I left.
-Saschia On Writing
I read the same line 6 times
Then when I tried to leave I backed into my mother’s car
That’s when I decided it was best to stay inside
With the book I’m too tired to read
I stare at the letters and they don’t stare back
The words they have sounds and proper places
But they sit there with no meaning
Not these words here that you’re reading
because they are coming out not going in
It’s the going in part that’s not working.
I’ll try again tomorrow morning.
There is a reason why you’re here
It’s to read this poem and to realize this poem’s existence would cease without you
It would be silent
A dead silence with the night air stuck in a place that never really existed
It would lack the chaos of us
Trees would fall into oblivion
I would fall into oblivion.
there’d be no us
there’d be no poetry
You are the poetry
The future is bound to my neck
I hold her close and nurture her till the time comes to let her go
The past is bound to my ankle
I don’t live there
I only use what I learned
My core was steady
but childbirth has weakened it
My bones light
buried beneath these layers of skin
My blood trickled on memories
On goes the thumping of my heart
It thumps it thumps it thumps
And like a warrior of no tribe
I wear my stripes
my chin held high
Because the future needs
to be nurtured by a warrior.
We’re at a stand still
No inky edits
No fancy thoughts
Just the dull rumble
of someone elses engine
The stale taste of leftovers
Home is normally just 5 minutes from here
But today it looks like it’s gunna take longer
Sitting here outside the gym eating Milanos. I might finish the bag before I finish this piece. It’s the double dark chocolate flavor. There’s a lesson to be learned here. But I’m sure I already know it. The class starts in ten. There’s two cookies left and I should stop eating them but I probably won’t. I should take this all more seriously I mean my health is a priority as a mother. Ok I’ll leave the last two for tomorrow.
A hungry breastfeeding mother