Give Yourself Permission to Write: Why a Weekend Retreat Matters

If you’re looking for permission to cancel your plans and spend the next week writing, I give you full permission.

The thing about writing daily is that it feels greedy for me to set a weekend aside to write when I’m already dedicating 4 hours a night to writing. I do think I need a weekend though. A weekend to just read and write. Only those two responsibilities.

Here’s my thing: when I think about spending a weekend just writing, I feel like two days are not enough. It reminds me of the time I read about this one writer who finally felt bold enough to go to a week-long writing retreat. She said she felt so guilty because she slept the first week away. When she talked to someone about the guilt she felt, they responded by saying that her body probably needed that rest. So the next year, she booked two weeks. She found that when she allowed her body to rest for the first week, she was able to get a ton of writing done the second week. That worked for her.

When I took a week away, it felt like plenty of time. I go hard the first three days and then take it easy toward the end of the week. It’s not like things magically start flowing just because you’re away, but it does give me the space to create without interruption.

A train of thought can be so delicate that constant interruption can make you feel like you can’t think. The truth is you have a great brain filled with millions of ideas; you’re just not getting the space your brain needs to complete a thought.

And that’s why you need to give yourself permission to go away and write.

I’ll give you permission.

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The Balance of Solitude and Connection for Writers

Human connection is a huge part of the writing toolkit.

In yesterday’s post, I talked about how you have to show up to the page when no one else is there to cheer you on.

It’s to be expected that you will be writing many hours alone. But something I don’t think we talk about enough is the importance of having humans who cheer you on throughout your journey.

I am so grateful for the relationships I have with some fantastic humans. They also happen to be so supportive of my journey. Some are writers, which works perfectly. Some are people I connect with, and we just never left each other.

What’s important here is that there is balance. Yes, a good chunk of the work is done by validating yourself alone at 12 a.m. on a Wednesday when you have to get up in 5 hours. But it’s important to make time for people too.

Years ago, I kept circling solitude and how important it was for a writer, but after thinking about it, I realized we need a lot of both: solitude and connection with other humans. The amount of each is personal. Some may need more solitude, and some may need more human connection, but either way, you need both.

The thing about Writer’s Quest is that it was workshopped with other writers and written over five years during my daily evening writing ritual. This is a handcrafted work of art that took an extraordinary amount of patience and discipline. You get to be part of a project that was developed with a lot of solitude and a moderate amount of connection.

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Write for Your Soul

✨Unlocking Creativity ✨

The thing about writing is that there are times when no one is going to validate nor support your craft, and still, you’ve got to show up to the page. You gotta think. You gotta rewrite and reread and type a million different thoughts into one singular sentence at a time. The only person that can validate your craft when no one else sees it is you.

“A writer is someone for whom writing is
more difficult than it is for other people.” — Thomas Mann

One way to validate yourself as you write is to remember that it’s not about writing the perfect book. It’s not even about writing a book. It’s about finding a way to release all that stuff that’s backed up inside your system. And you gotta get it out on paper for a few reasons.

One reason is for the release, or the beginning one. I heard somewhere that when we write down the things we feel like we need to remember, it lightens the burden on our brain. It relieves stress.

The second reason is that it can help you process things better when you take time to consider possible action steps or alternate possibilities.

The third reason is that it helps you better understand yourself and those around you.

Remember, we are a bunch of humans bumping into each other trying our best while we’re here.

Might as well learn to write what you love even when no one can see your vision yet.

I spent 5 years writing what I love. It’s the biggest project I’ve ever started and completed. I spent years reading and learning different types of storytelling. I did this because I was curious to know how storytelling worked from bible stories to oral tellings, to the different types of novels we see today. This all lead to Writer’s Quest.

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Love and Writing

I didn’t just wake up one day and decide to be a writer.

I’m not the get-rich-quick schemer that America loves to celebrate. I’m a slow cooker and an intentional learner. It’s nice to have time to think about which lessons to bring and which ones to chalk up as “just a part of life.” Rainer Maria Rilke once said,

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves.”

It’s not just about putting words on a page; it’s about love.

It feels good to have somewhere safe to pour your love. There are plenty of places that will swallow your love whole and leave you drained, but writing doesn’t do that for me. This is slow love. This is intentional and aware. It’s dedicated and fiercely loyal, and I made sure all that is a part of my writing space.

I hope that someday I get to share that with other writers.

Speaking of love, Writer’s Quest has been poured into for 5 years.
I’d be more than happy to share some
of this love with you.

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James Joyce was my Guardrail

“The demand that I make of my reader is that he should devote his whole Life to reading my works.” -James Joyce

In Ulysses, James Joyce uses different types of storytelling while mirroring The Odyssey. He has a table of connections to help his readers to navigate his works and clear knew the investment was placed upon his reader was enormous. It took seven years for him to write Ulysses, so I guess I can’t complain so much about the 5 years of work I spent on Writer’s Quest; however, my novel isn’t even a tad bit as detailed as Joyce’s work.

That was intentional on my part. I wanted my book to be challenging, but at the same time, I wanted it to be accessible. Joyce’s work requires a significant understanding of outside literature prior to grasping all the connections in his novel. Not everyone has the time and support to understand the literature required to connect with Joyce’s work. When I read his book, I dove in, but I was a full-time writer for a chunk of that time. I had to watch videos, reread The Odyssey, and eventually learned his works are much better understood when they are read by someone with an Irish accent who understands Irish culture. Doing all that was exciting and adventurous, and I wanted more people to appreciate that type of adventure right where they are in life.

A Casual Reader’s Guide to Ulysses

I Want to Honor My Teachers

“The essence of all beautiful art, all great art, is gratitude.” -Friedrich Nietzsche

If there’s one thing I want my writing to do, it’s to honor my teachers. Teachers come in so many forms: professors, people we hope to never be, infants and children, lovers, and nature, just to name a few. Some teachers invest in us just for the love of it. That always feels nice. And so the point is that Writer’s Quest, in essence, was written while I was full of gratitude every time I sat at the computer. Not that I was some toxically happy individual. No way. Writing this novel was hard work. I put my blood, sweat, and tears into this novel.

But

if there’s one knowing that showed up with me while writing every single page, it is that I wouldn’t have been able to write a single page without my teachers.

(And muses. But that’s another topic for another day.)

Valuing Your Writing

The Magic Behind Storytelling

Writing is more than just telling a story. If you’re a writer, you’re a multitasker in your most natural state. You’re a visionary, communicator, researcher, and an editor—among all the other stuff we must do as humans. When we combine all these, we become something else entirely: a world of our own, especially if we write full time. It’s only natural for writers to step away and become the observer. We need it for our stories. And the world needs our stories.

That’s exactly why, as writers, it’s important to value our effort. Don’t underestimate the amount of magic it takes to tell a story.

This is About Mentors

“The creation of a thousand forests is in one acorn.” -Ralph Waldo Emerson

Writer’s Quest is about three women who find their own way to liberation. Their liberation is spiritual and deeply internal. The thing about being human on the path toward liberation is that we often need a hand or what some may call a mentor. Mentors can feel like magic the way they show up, and maybe there is a little bit of magic in there, but what is really happening is intentional patience, compassion, and understanding. What I’m saying is that mentoring someone can mean a new life for them, not just because they gain skills to help them navigate the world, which does happen, but because they gain a wider perspective of the world and a little more hope.

I know I started this post about women, but the truth is that there are amazing mentors out there who are ladies, gentlemen, and non-binary.

Did you find an amazing mentor?
You might relate to Senta who found a mentor she adored from the moment she saw them.

If not,
Writer’s Quest: A Triptych can be your first mentor.

Psychology and Philosophy from the Mind of a Creative

Writer’s Quest is a walk through psychology and philosophy from the mind of a creative. Bad things happen; it’s tragic, but the good news is that good things happen too, and that’s a wonderful feeling. The many folds and layers we walk through bring us closer and closer to ourselves through good and bad experiences. Character comes as we learn that the horrors of this world must be accepted, and at the same time, we must give ourselves what we need to heal from them.

But let’s lighten this up.

There’s plenty of room in this world for goodness and joy among the chaos and darkness. The thing about it is that you have to give yourself permission to have goodness and joy in your life. Humans thrive best when they allow themselves permission to have a full range of feelings.

You get the honor and privilege of being your own body boss; make it a good year.

Looking to treat yourself? Give yourself permission to get yourself a little treat.

It’s Ok to have a Growing To Be Read Pile

My To Be Read (TBR) pile is getting a tad dusty, but that didn’t stop me from getting The Maidens written by Alex Michaelides. Yes, books are supposed to be read, but me and the rest of the reading community fully support books on the shelf that haven’t been read yet. Here’s the truth, you could read all the books in your TBR pile, and it will still feel like you have a million more books to read. So here’s permission:

buy the books even if you think you won’t read them!

👇🏽👇🏽speaking of books here’s mine👇🏽👇🏽

Writer’s Quest is an experimental fiction novel about a painter who’s searching for her mom and meets a mystical mentor. It’s a story told through different styles of storytelling that shares a woman’s artistic and personal transformation.