A place where you can be human.
A tiny ripple of hope.
These words remind me of The Butterfly Effect. To summarize, The Butterfly Effect is when something as small as a butterfly flapping it’s wings can create something as mighty as a tornado weeks later. I share that to say this, a tiny ripple is enough. Your small acts of kindness are enough no matter how tiny and inconsequential they seem.
I had to make my most favorite writers human.
I have the tendency to place great writers behind glass, where I can’t touch them. When I sit down and read words that touch my soul, it makes me feel so small. Words do mean a lot to me. I often make them much bigger than what they are on first read( or first listen). So over the past few years I found myself in love with the writers who didn’t hide their humanity. In fact, they used their humanity as the basis for their works. I love Henry James and his eloquent writing. I got his journals and was slightly disappointed at his lack of elegance when it came to daily writing. One day he collapsed and simply described it as a “bad day.” There was no coquet. No romantic gesture by some well dressed woman who saw him go down. I realize that fiction isn’t supposed to be a mirror of our realities, but I couldn’t help but expect him to be as romantic as his stories. I think we all have these moments where the people we look up to aren’t what we expected. At the same time, it helps me to appreciate writers who share their humanity, the good, bad, and ugly that we stow away to fit the part. Bukowski, Rimbaud, Plath, and throw some Hunter Thompson in there, and a few other writing mentors that walked beside me, they all liberate me with their authenticity. I hope that I can liberate others the same way they did for me.
To lose our connection with the body is to become spiritually homeless. Without an anchor we float aimlessly, battered by the winds and waves of life.
Dr. Anodea Judith
I like to have plans with my editing sessions. 65k words is hell to edit with no guide on what to look for. I know the quote is talking about about more spiritual connection with the body but it helps to not float aimlessly in novel writing too.
How do you edit your novels?
Writing doesn’t take up enough of my life but I haven’t gone a day without doing it. I used to have writing dreams of going off to a cabin in the woods and writing my days away. I stopped dreaming about them for a while but right now an away writing sesh sounds amazing. I think I’d sleep for the first three days then write my heart out the rest of the time. Throw in some ice cream and take out, ::deep sigh:: -dream come true. Sounds peaceful and adventurous sprinkled with a bit of productivity.
When you encourage others, you in the process are encouraged because you’re making a commitment and difference in that person’s life. Encouragement really does make a difference.
Zig Ziglar
Words of affirmation are important to me. But let me explain where I learned it from. I learned it from watching mentors around me and by making my own decade worth of mistakes that using encouraging words and gentle guidance lasts significantly longer than using fear based learning. Fear based learning is quick and powerful. You could even see instant results. Unfortunately, those results don’t last and often lead to other long term behavioral issues.
First of all, it’s embedded in our society so it’s not only accepted it’s expected. Let me rephrase that, it was expected. Things are changing though. A lot more leaders are leaning more toward gentle and encouraging teaching methods. It brings me so much joy.
There are times when I want to build brand new things with a team but you know what, teamwork is hard work. People show up with their own desires, passions, and goodness, they also show up with their hurts and learned behaviors. With that being said, as a team, you’re there to work together to support everyone’s uprising. That’s how you win and that’s how you keep winning. There’s no better way to make big positive change in an ever changing world than to support those around you.
Which leads to this, you gotta know how to support those around you. What makes you feel supported isn’t always what makes others feel supported. But it’s always best to start with knowing yourself. What makes you feel supported and what makes you feel unsupported. Once you know those things about yourself share them with the team so they can rise with you. And then when it’s their turn to say “oh wow that really makes me feel supported” or “oh wow I’m not really feeling supported when you do that,” you’ll know this isn’t a personal attack against you. We all have our own unique stories which is why it’s more than ok, it’s imperative, to say these things to our teammates.
Question Time
What are some things that make you feel supported? What are some things make you feel unsupported?
I feel deeply supported when people respect my time. (Like my heart flutters a little bit. lol probably because I was a stay at home mom and I didn’t really get “time” as strangely as that sounds.) Which means I feel unsupported when people don’t respect/value my time.
I feel unsupported when I don’t set/commit to intentional time for myself but boy does my heart feel full of support when I DO set/commit to intentional time for myself!!
Teamwork begins by building trust. And the only way to do that is to overcome our need for invulnerability.
Patrick Lencioni
Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.
George Bernard Shaw
It feels good to finish things that both challenge me and add progress. Forward momentum is part of being alive. The challenging part is learning to enjoy the process. Before I started writing novels, I didn’t understand the importance of taking things slow. Now that I see how long it takes me to write a freakin novel, everything else gets finished much quicker. So it’s not so bad. It’s frustrating that my novel isn’t finished but it’s nice that there’s other things I can finish and feel proud about.
I did a 15 minute meditation this evening. I also had the house to myself so it was convenient. Today was a weird day but I’m glad I got to have some time to myself to sit and just be. No judging. No trying to change things. It feels good to let things go. After I finished my meditation, I took a moment to enjoy my tea before the family returned home.
I haven’t been meditating as much while trying to manage everything. I’m glad I could give that time to myself. It can feel sometimes that it’s not worth it. That I might as well do something else. But when I get to stop for a moment and give myself permission to just be, it feels better than surfing the web for a moment.
I learned to knit a scarf today! It’s exciting to see it slowly grow into something other than a ball of yarn. I’m taking my time to master the tension and fixing my mistakes without having to start it all over. It’s fun. I popped on some weird youtube videos and knitted the day away.
Have you tried anything new lately?
I hate quotations. Tell me what you know.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Despite what Mr. Emerson may feel, I appreciate a good quote. There’s a quote for everything. All I have to do is think about how I felt or what actions stood out the most to me, and find one word to describe it. Then I add the word to Quotes about [insert description word here].
What kind of tricks do you use to keep yourself writing?
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