My Last Love Letter

There you were

Beneath my naked body

stripped bare

To the bone

To the soul

And still you stood

Unwavering next to my shattered bones

Next to my full and emptied womb

You accepted my child so much so

you cried to let her go

You taught her to tie her shoes

and taught me I’m someone worth being worried for

Then there’s your real laugh

The rare one that shows up when you’re caught off gaurd with a funny

Your firm squeeze against my thighs

Are both memories I’ll send to the heavens with hopes they’ll return when I’m ready to smile about you again

Not a bullet in the world could have taken you from me, if I could’ve stopped it

Not a job

Not a bad habit

Or a stinky sock

You were my reason

You were

why my heart beat

and why it flowed

And why it will continue to beat this way

until I stop breathing

-Saschia

Purpose?

The time has come to discuss purpose

Do we all have one when we’re born?

Do we create one?

“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.” ―Fyodor Dostoyevsky

I am going to say the first thing we should do in life is figure out who we are and with that comes our purpose.

Finding purpose is just coming to accept who you are.

And that is when you find the thing that worth living for.

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So Now, Accept Yourself

You are tough

You weren’t born that way

You came out soft and squishy

And full of fantasies

And you tasted just like sugar

Like melted sugar

And rainbows shot from your eyes in the middle of a hurricane

Then it started

the dying

You realized people did very bad things

That people died for no reason

You realized you were someone to be understood only by a few

And you tried for years to understand why

And tried for years to tell yourself you’d be ok

We’d all be ok and you’d make sure of it

You hid in your silence

In your fear of connecting the wrong things once again

You hid in your stereotypes

Black violence with White credit score

Then the armor came

It collected over the years

You watched and saw how others made it through

You ate

And skipped meals

You slept to help skip them

You skipped em to feed your baby

You skipped em to find love

Then you clung to the illusion that someday you might be good enough

But you, my beautiful tattered soul,

have always been good enough

Since the day rainbows shot out of your big brown eyes

And even the day they started going dim you were still brighter than the north star

You have survived things and never stopped rebuilding

You tear down your walls over and over

And when you rebuild

You don’t rebuild selfishly

You rebuild for every single person who needs to be rebuilt too

Your ability to see the good in monsters is something people will never understand

Stay apart from those who don’t understand you ability to accept

But keep accepting

That is what you were born with and that is what you will die with

And that is your only purpose on this earth

So now accept yourself

-Saschia