my boobs ache and my nipples crack
millimeter by millimeter
I grit as they tread my parted crevices
and I allow it
bloody bleeding
I choose everyday to keep going
“it’s all temporary” they keep telling me
and as I wander off to dream my breasts fill
they weigh me down
down down down the spiral
I am a woman who is tied to her children
I am a woman who has bled on white carpets
on the white sheets and into the hands of strangers
But I tell myself this will be over
this will end
I treasure the moments like they tell me
As my tummy sags while I squat squat squat to a popular rhythm
I can only hope it lifts just one more inch
missed meals a drooping breast
my body aches it aches from sacrifice
for him for her for the good God almighty
my dreams wait and become impatient
they gnaw and cause un-lady-like outbursts
my faith in God dwindles
and it all makes less sense the more I give
and rest and give
the more I come alive
The church steps in but it’s no use
it’s too late I’ve nothing left to give
I have no care left
call me what you like
keep me in your prayers
but these bones have grown too tired of trying to get
you to understand what it’s like when you’re not around
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