She paces toward the bathroom. Her loafer slippers drag against the floorboards to the beat of the music. The bedroom is cool but the rest of the house is a thousand degrees. “It’s never ok to hurt someone, not physically or any other way.”
Hell wouldn’t have a bedroom to cool off in, she’s lucky. She’s a lucky girl to have such pleasures in this life. The clock on wall ticks but she can’t hear it even when she gets in its face. She feels her chest begin to sweat.
Back to the bedroom.
The house is full of her acceptance. A beautiful house on a U with a ghost-black gate around it. No trespassers. No hate from the outside coming in, just a community of names. Everyone knows names.
What you’re willing to die for, should be the same as what you’re willing to live for. Death is inevitable. Not in a depressing way but we all know it’s coming. What’s unknown, though? Your greatness? The impact your writing will have? How much you will change with your mere existence? Those are all unknowns and they always will be. One of my favorite songs from Eminem’s Music to Be Murdered By -Side B album is his song titled Higher. Here’s a line
All I know is every time I think I hit my ceiling I go higher than I’ve ever fuckin’ been
That’s something worth thinking about. For a long time, I knew my daughter was the only thing in this life worth dying for. I said that religiously. But I was killing myself. I had destructive thoughts. While I did enjoy fitness, I still wasn’t taking in enough calories so it was taking a toll on my mental health. My digestion went downhill. My emotions went downhill which had an impact on my relationship and ability to make proper decisions for the future of my daughter.
Then it hit one day. Okay, you’d die for your baby and your mom but what are you willing to stay alive for? Life is fuckin hard as shit. So hard in fact that living in a healthy way is the best most precious gift I could ever give to myself and my daughter.
That shift in mindset changed my entire perspective on why I’m alive and how I should be thinking about my purpose, my motivations, my disciplines, and my relationships.
So yes, how did you die, but it also means (and more importantly) How did you live?
How Did You Die?
Did you tackle that trouble that came your way With a resolute heart and cheerful? Or hide your face from the light of day With a craven soul and fearful?
Oh, a trouble’s a ton, or a trouble’s an ounce, Or a trouble is what you make it, And it isn’t the fact that you’re hurt that counts, But only how did you take it?
You are beaten to earth? Well, well, what’s that! Come up with a smiling face. It’s nothing against you to fall down flat, But to lie there-that’s disgrace.
The harder you’re thrown, why the higher you bounce Be proud of your blackened eye! It isn’t the fact that you’re licked that counts; It’s how did you fight-and why?
And though you be done to the death, what then? If you battled the best you could, If you played your part in the world of men, Why, the Critic will call it good.
Death comes with a crawl, or comes with a pounce, And whether he’s slow or spry, It isn’t the fact that you’re dead that counts, But only how did you die?
These days more and more symbolist poets are stepping out and showing their true colors. Some of you may have had a loved one step into the world of symbolist poetry and feel as though you have lost touch. Some of you might have found a symbolist poet you’re interested in on your timeline. I’m here to let you know, there’s a sliver of hope when it comes to connecting with the symbolist poet of your dreams.
When you’re outside of the symbolist community, it can feel overwhelming. You might even feel like you have to compete with other symbolists who seem to know exactly what to say to your symbolist poet. Those damn poets, they are good with both words and emotions, but let me tell you, there is hope. There is a way to connect with your poet. There is more than one way to cultivate a strong connection with your poet and I’m here to share these ways with you.
First things first, since I am a female poet, this will be advice on how to connect with a female poet. I’m not a man, so I’m not sure I could write an honest piece on how to connect with a male symbolist poet.
Let’s get started, shall we?
Know that you are worthy enough for her.
Symbolist poets study humans down to the nitty gritty. They learn to feel everything because if they didn’t, they would not grow as poets. So, the first way to cultivate a strong connection with your poet, is to know that you are valuable and you are enough. Yes, poets like beautiful things, but what they appreciate more is honest things. If you’re trying to connect with your poet while having a false sense of self, she will know. Your best bet is to know you’re worthy with or without her so she doesn’t feel you’re being fraudulent right off the bat.
Be Honest.
Charles Bukowski isn’t popular among writers because he’s an asshole who slept around. Ok that might have something to do with it, but mostly he’s popular among writers because he told the truth. As a writer, he was open and honest about all of his feelings. He wrote about how bad he felt for the shitty things he did. He wrote about how empty he felt at times. As a writer, Bukowski was an open book. He was open even about something as small as the shame he felt after road rage. Don’t confuse a poet’s love for Buk’s honesty, with the idea of craving a rockstar boyfriend. This can be applied to any poet really. So the point is, just be honest about everything. Poets crave to hear you be honest about what you’re feeling.
Learn how to use your honesty.
Ok, so this is where honesty can get tricky. Some people think you should always be honest. Some people think you should not tell your wife when she looks fat. I’m here to say, you’ve got to learn how to use your honesty. Chances are, this symbolist poet already knows the truth. Chances are she values your opinion. So how can you learn to use your honesty? If you feel like you’re telling her the truth just to prove that you will, that’s not honesty. Being honest with your poet takes a lot of being honest with yourself. Self-acceptance is required in order to learn how to be honest with your poet.
Accept Yourself.
If your poet is into you or has already committed to you, it is vital that you learn to accept yourself for who you are. Even if you are courting a poet, when you don’t accept yourself, your lack of acceptance can come out toward her in underhanded remarks. You may not even notice that you’re doing it. Be aware of the parts of you that you’re ashamed of and then love those parts. Do this over and over again, so you don’t unintentionally hurt your poet.
Give snacks as gifts.
Don’t ever underestimate the power of snacks. Learn her snacks. Know her snacks. Gift her with her most loved snacks. Trust me on this one.
Show consistency.
Show up. Keep doing it for her. Do it when she’s sad. Do it when she’s happy and everything is going great for her. Show up when she doesn’t need you at all. Just show up. This will cultivate a sense of trust. Symbolist poets have an interesting understanding of the human condition. They understand the strong desires inbred in our DNA. The chance of you abandoning them are always high in a symbolist poet’s mind because that’s reality. I’m not saying they have abandonment issues but they are always prepared to be abandoned. Prove them wrong.
Listen to her.
They have thoughts running through their minds on vast levels on a regular basis. They are recalling and connecting poetry, poets, images, movies, history, occult knowledge, mysteries of the universe, serial killers, astrology, what time they should post, a lecture they heard ten years ago, last time they showered, ok you get it. So let them get a few things off their chest by listening to them ramble, so they can move on with their lives.
Let her love you.
This one is not easy. It sounds really easy. Who doesn’t want to be loved, right? Symbolist poets love entirely. They have and are always learning to accept all parts of themselves. They are constantly learning and relearning themselves so, the way they love you is going to be some of the most pure love you’ll ever receive. They aren’t perfect by any means. But chances are, they’ve already taken notes on your body language, on your choice of words, on your interests and dreams and can pretty much love you exactly where you are. It’s going to feel real weird. It’s going to feel almost unreal, like when people just give away good quality free shit. With free shit there’s always a catch, but with symbolist poets, this isn’t the case. Self acceptance is required in order to grow as a symbolist poet and self acceptance is the root of unconditional love. They are always working on self acceptance. So, if you’re questioning whether your symbolist poet will always love you, you can stop questioning, because she will always love you. Soak up her love while following the guidelines above, and you’re golden.
Respect her.
Now chances are, you could do all of these things right to a T, but if she’s not interested, and voices that to you, your best option is to respect her and let her be. Letting a symbolist poet go when she asks is one of the most divine acts of love and she will respect you far more for it.
If all else fails,
become a symbolist poet yourself. You know what they say, “If you can’t beat em, join em.”
Thanks for reading, Your humble symbolist poet, Saschia Johnson
Her hair weaved with precious flowers, her skin glowing from bathing in the hidden waters. Her eyes set upon her woodsman. Her heart as pure as a heart could be; she walks toward the town.
Some of the enemies who survived the war were on their way by foot to return to their king. They, with bitter and tired hearts, noticed her emerge from the woods.
In their bitterness they raped and beat the divine woman to death. Her glow dimmed. Her hair cut short with flowers scattered about. The fathers grieved the loss of their daughter. They begged Hades to do something.
Hades, who felt for the girl once again, sent the soldier who found her body.
He was immediately stricken with grief and wailed at the sight of her battered body The birds gathered and mourned the loss of their dear friend.
He buried her in the king’s garden. The birds of the forest moved their nests to be once again in her presence. The flowers she picked and weaved into her hair were dropped as seedlings from the birds wings. And in her honor, Hades turned the waters to flow toward her.
The knight vowed from that day on never to leave such an innocent being’s side again A day of celebration was organized by the knight a memorial to the divine woman of the woods
Because of him, the kingdoms to come would celebrate a day in the garden forever more.
One day, a king’s knight entered the woods. He fell upon the divine beauty who had invested herself in the woodsman.
“What are you doing living in these woods? Where are your clothes?” He asked.
Now, the fathers below heard the knight’s words fall upon her and they begged Hades to blind her from his questioning.
But Hades felt she had been hidden long enough and refused their pleas.
“Naked?” She asked; “If there was something I needed my skilled woodsman would have brought it to me.”
He replied, “Your woodsman hasn’t warned you what could come if you lived out here naked with no protection? Do you know our enemy is coming? They will be charging these woods soon.”
“Enemy? I know no such thing. My woodsman will bring me what I need.” She returned to her birds and flowers and wines and chocolates.
He stayed with her, remaining hidden.
While they were in the woods the enemy fell upon the woodsman’s town. He, his wife, and family were slaughtered. After the massacre of that town the army took stance and defeated them.
The divine woman awaits her woodsman, unaware of his slaughter.
“It has been three days, your woodsman has not returned. What will you do?”
The fathers below cried out to Hades “Please Hades send him away. Don’t arouse her curiosity anymore. Allow her to remain in the woods till she rests in peace.”
Hades with the view of history behind his eyes concedes to their wishes. The knight is summoned by honored servants to return to the dying king’s bedside.
The divine woman, who the woodsman never named in order to keep her secret, knew that her woodsman was safe. In her bliss, she assumed her woodsman was awaiting her to join him. So she began her journey out of the woods.
The fathers below watched on in horror as their daughter, ignorant and naked, wandered toward the massacred town. They begged Hades once again, “Please keep her in the woods, please send the soldier back to her.”
Hades said “It is you who have kept your daughter in darkness. It is you who begged me to rid her protection. Now, you will see the weight of your desires.
The divine woman with no name stepped out of the woods.
~Saschia Johnson~
This is part two of a three part series. Thanks for reading.
The divine woman rose from the dust of her fallen father and grandfathers.
Her naked body warm and beating with life; Her hair so long it brushed the ground she walked on.
She was gifted with bliss from her fathers who begged Hades for her happiness.
She wandered the woods and fell upon a man a woodsman.
He was skilled in his craft; she admired him so much. She wrapped her sunkissed arms around him and expressed her love for him.
He, a married man, could not tell such a divine beauty the word no. So he promised to love her till the end of days; but that she had to remain in the woods and he’d return to her everyday.
She, in her bliss, obliged.
She spent her days singing with the birds gathering flowers and wading in the hidden waters.
Her fathers looked up with content to see their daughter so happy and healthy
It didn’t matter that the woodsman was married so long as their daughter was happy and thriving in her own true nature.
The woodsman was consistent with his visits and brought her great chairs and built her a shelter. He brought chocolates and wines, and loved her more than he loved his own wife and children.
The blankets, slept in. The air thick with smoke from the magical stuff that turns your mind inward, too inward if you let it. I wouldn’t know, I’m more of a bore. The stale sweat rubs me in every wrong way while I tell myself I’m there for some divine reason. A few drops of blood drip from the crown of his head. Flashes of sex. Flashes of nude bones and rolling hills course through me like biblical visions from above. I don’t dare ask. And here he comes with all the magic and an entire universe behind his eyes that a few of us are lucky enough to see. I respect you, is what I wish to say. I like you- like you, is what I wish to say, but instead I talk about Chipotle. I want him and he wants me but I want more. The stink of stale sex and that feeling of whether he’ll be there tomorrow plagues me enough without it. “Not tonight, okay?” And that was ok. And it was ok. Like it should be. But it’s not the sex that connect us. The sadness that sits inside him reaches the depths of hell and the arms he wraps me in feel like the sun and the moon. He is an entire universe I’ll only ever leave in body because my mind wanders towards him in the most sacred ways. So sacred, it doesn’t feel right.
