Let’s See How it Goes

I’ve been working through my fear of abandonment when it comes to work. Every kind of work: housework, career work, relationship work, etc. I have this fear that I’m going to be left along with all the work to do by myself. And at face value, it seems like a good healthy fear. On top of that, I’ve been through things and put myself through things that brought this fear to reality for me. I’ve always acknowledged it. It’s not like a hidden fear. It sounds something like, “Well, I’m not going to be the only one doing the work, Nope, I’m not going to be taken advantage of or even I don’t see them doing it.

It’s all negative self talk. Lies. It keeps me from taking the action I need to take. But let’s go back for a moment. Before I started my inner work, I had terrible boundaries. Awful. I was exhausted from saying yes to everything. I had priorities but by the time I got to them, I was exhausted. Now back to today. I’m a boundary setting guru! Ok not guru that’s too far. No, but seriously though, today, I’m a lot better at managing my time (it still needs work) and a lot better at maintaining the time I have set aside for my priorities. My discipline isn’t fueled by the anxiety that comes with perfectionism (aka fear of failure).

So why am I saying all that. I think it’s ok to let the fear of abandonment go when it comes to putting in work because I trust that I’m not going to abandon myself. The work that needs to be done is an investment for my future self and for my family. I trust that I am capable of managing my time in a way that keeps me mindful of my health. And I trust that I’m going to be open and authentic with myself and take the time I need to heal if someone takes advantage of my hard work. So I’m really truly ready to release the wound that comes with work.

I’ll have to always be mindful because like I said in my last post, healing yourself is never done. Today, I’m so ready to move forward and have a healthy fear when it comes to house work, career work, and all the work. I’m ready to release all my limitations give my best efforts to those I love and pour my work into all the things I care about most.

Let’s see how it goes.

Published by Jayne

Jayne is a writer. On her free time she likes to be with her family hiking outdoors and traveling. New England is her home and place of birth. When asked what she wants to teach the world she replied, "Don't stop searching. Too many times, in my old life, I put my search aside for more 'important matters.' I didn't realize the thing I was searching for held what was most important; my soul purpose." Jayne works daily on improving her craft and at times can get down on herself, but her favorite morning mantra is "It's a new day." and that's what she strives to start with.

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