“And he said: ‘Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.'”Matthew 18:3
This weekend I had such an inspiring message sent through my little one. Let me tell you, I saw this woman’s conference and I had to go. I signed up, followed all the directions, and followed up through emails to make sure I was involved because I wanted to be there. For some reason, no matter what I planned, plans kept changing all around me and eventually I had to end up bringing my little one to church. I wasn’t upset at all. I was happy to bring her because she came to help set up and was very helpful. So it was no big deal and thankfully the ladies around me were very understanding. When we get there, she’s so involved: singing, chatting with the other ladies, enjoying breakfast, and all the treats they had to share. So when it came time to listen to the speaker, I brought her into the playroom. She decided she’d rather color at the table with us. So between my mother and I we pulled out every pen we owned and let her do her thing. She’s quite the little creator. At this point the speaker is speaking about how different times are now from the old testament and asks “Isn’t this a great time to be alive?” My little one lifts her head with no hesitation and says, “yes!!” A smile grows across my face and I’m fighting back tears. This is why I was there with her.
Let me explain, I was furious when I got pregnant because I had been trying for 5 years and finally made peace with the fact that I wasn’t going to get pregnant. Decided that was it. I was going to focus on making myself happy. Gym, school, whatever made my little heart happy was going to be done. I was getting fit, connecting with other ladies in the workout classes (I sort of isolated for a while so this was exciting for me) I was all signed up for school. (ANd SO EXCITED TO BE THERE) AND BAM Pregnent! Ohh when I tell you, I was mad at God, that doesn’t even begin to describe it.
Fast forward 4 years later, I’m happy as a pig in poop. Living my best life with my two girls and my husband. And this little girl is conscious of how happy she is to be born at this time. The timing I was so furious about. She shined her light right in my wound and lit me up just by being her creative little self.
So what have I learned?
Do whatever your big ole loving heart is calling you to do. Trust yourself. Trust the Good Lord (Universe, Highest Being whatever you call it) Know yourself and your values. Write down things that call you and let them be for you even when the world doesn’t understand. Let your mere existence be the light.