Mid Summer Writer Melt Down

“If you are going to be a writer there is nothing I can say to stop you; if you’re not going to be a writer nothing I can say will help you. What you really need at the beginning is somebody to let you know that the effort is real.” –James Baldwin

There’s something about living through your dreams that people talk about, but you don’t really understand until you’re in the midst of it all. And for me, the words left by writers of the past are often my biggest inspiration during those frustrating times. Writing is hard. But I know for a fact I’d rather be here than in college or working for someone’s else’s dream. It’s not that writing is my only option or a better option at that. I have a million other options, but this is the option that draws me to a new day, that carries me through the dark, and where I get to live my joys two or sometimes even three times over. I not only have to write, I have to live, and I cannot sacrifice my very own wild and beautiful life any longer.

For me, writing is hard. It’s extraordinarily frustrating. I finished the first draft of my second novel, and I’ve begun working on my third while editing the second. And while I do those, I try to share a few words with the world every day. I don’t have a huge community of people cheering me on. What I do have is a beautiful collection of people cheering me on from all different walks of life and I don’t think I’d change that. But sometimes it does get a little lonely.

Regardless of what platform I’m using, who my friends are, or what man decides he’s going to love me through it all, I will have a deep and profound desire to write a book and another one and another one. I don’t think anything outside myself will take that away. It hasn’t yet. I don’t want to be a genius. I don’t want to be a pop star. I want to write books and talk to people about writing books.

“Something that irritates you and won’t let you go. That’s the anguish of it. Do this book, or die. You have to go through that. Talent is insignificant. I know a lot of talented ruins. Beyond talent lie all the usual words: discipline, love, luck, but most of all, endurance.” –James Baldwin

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