Correction On Shrouded

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Yesterday I posted a poem, but as an over thinker I already want to make one thing clear.

Here’s the poem.

“The air is thin here

among the musk and dirt

my body veiled in cloth.

I’d prefer not to be.

There’s a nakedness I crave

that isn’t available to all.

This nakedness, this madness is divinity

hoarded with chocolates and tea.

There’s incessant knocking knocking

pounding and glass shattering

I open my hands and teeter this way and that

until the urge is gone

leaving my nakedness unveiled

and the air normal”

 

The nakedness the character in the poem speaks of IS available to all but only few venture that path. I think I will rewrite it to clarify that little tidbit.

maybe

“The air is thin here

among the musk and dirt

my body veiled in cloth.

I’d prefer not to be.

There’s a nakedness I crave

it’s available to all

but only few venture it

This nakedness, this madness is divinity

hoarded with chocolates and tea.

There’s incessant knocking knocking

pounding and glass shattering

I open my hands and teeter this way and that

until the urge is gone

leaving my nakedness unveiled

and the air normal”

 

But as they say, a writers work is never truly finished.

 

Here’s another poem from last week that I enjoyed writing.

2 thoughts on “Correction On Shrouded

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