What Made Me A Writer

I was not always a writer.

I grew up in a single parent home with a mom battling depression. She, with the help of my family, made sure we had everything we needed while prioritizing a deep rooted relationship with Christ. I was blessed with a father who loved me and did the best he could to raise us from outside of our home, while focusing on his own ambitions. As a child, this was confusing and sometimes hard but, as an adult, I completely understand where he was in life. I had an amazing brother who toughened me up and taught me how to be a good loser. He always expected better and praised me when I did improve. He didn’t let boys treat me bad and this over time, supplied me self-worth. As for school, I grew up failing most of my classes and hating school. I felt excluded in private high school and cried every day in public school. I was mostly invisible to teachers except for my loving step mother who worked hard to get me into school every day. She was my outward motivation but I had no intrinsic motivation to go to school. In my mind I was stupid, ugly, fat, and weird. It was a very uncomfortable place in life for me. I felt stuck, dropped out, and attended adult education.

I had already loved psychology at this point and spent most of my free time trying to learn about schizophrenia. I realized I loved this subject, everything about it. After learning everything I could independently about schizophrenia, I moved on to learning about multiple personality disorder and depression. (This is when nobody used the internet, I was taking books out at the library.) Then someone told me about a place that was hiring. It was a private school for children who were mentally handicap. (The title “mentally handicap” was politically correct back then, now I would carefully say, special needs.) The timing and type of job was perfect for me. I loved it, everything about it. Though, there was still a part of me that didn’t feel good enough or smart enough and kinda weird. Those feelings did not stop me from doing my job but it did stop me from moving up in the chain of command. After 11 years, I eventually got to a point in my career where I was given responsibility over one child. While being responsible for that student we started off our days with violent tantrums showing very little interest in being independent, to eventually independently leading me. This took a lot of time, goal setting, blood, sweat, and most of all patience. Some may be bothered when their “student” leads them but, for me, this was an emotional tear worthy moment. That student started as a child with no motivation, like myself and grew into a women who was more motivated than the motivator. The job was a success and I was satisfied. After success, coincidentally I had also become a mother and my job was changing management, which meant I had to learn a whole new person’s vision and after 11 years of trying to learn another person’s vision, I was done. The job was out grown and it was time for me to grow like my student, who is now my motivator. I was off to college.

At this day in age it seems as if college is glorified more than the career itself. While college is at your fingertips, jobs are nearly impossible to find. Not all jobs, just the jobs that fit your passions. It is scary for myself, as a college student, to think about what will come of all my college debt. That doesn’t stop me, this unstoppableness may be a form of ignorance or false security but it still doesn’t stop me. The award winning neurosurgeon, Ben Carson said, “When you educate a man, you liberate a man,”(or women of course.) So, here I am being liberated and I am confident that the debt I am gaining will someday be worth it.

With all that, work for your passions and don’t stop! Persevere. It took 11 years for me to get to this point. It took Charles Hull 30 years to create the 3D printer and he can’t stop there. We can’t stop here. While your reaching for your goals, in the words of the Great Dylan Thomas, “…” To close I must say loudly, Don’t be a lady about fighting for your passions.

View at Medium.com

Question for fiction writers

I’m what is called a pantser like Stephen King. I don’t outline the story ahead of time. But I do take time to stop and think or journal on where I’d like my characters to end up. Anyhow, my two characters, a woman and a man, are growing in separate places right now. The guy’s growth is far more interesting than the woman’s. In real life this normal since women mature at a younger age than men, but in writing is this ok? Should I find more balance? Should I be more deliberate about her growth? My only concern is that she will be unrealistic if I am too deliberate. Or am I over thinking and this is how characters grow in fiction.

Fiction writers, do you find this or do this intentionally. Like, give another character more spotlight? Maybe it’s her slow growth that makes him more interesting and vibrant? I’d love to hear your strategies.

Hans Andersen Brindekilde

Hans Andersen Brindekilde

Worn Out or Udlsidt

Aka Working Class

This picture was created to celebrate 100 years since the French revolution. I find myself fascinated by his ability to capture these raw moments in life. This particular picture uses earth tones I think it suggests how close we are to returning to the earth. And how work tends to drive us there much quicker than we are prepared for. The way she holds him it seems as if he’s someone close to her heart. Oh, how I can relate to her emotions here.

I’m wondering your opinions.

Please Exist

There is a reason why you’re here

It’s to read this poem and to realize this poem’s existence would cease without you

It would be silent

A dead silence with the night air stuck in a place that never really existed

It would lack the chaos of us

Trees would fall into oblivion

I would fall into oblivion.

Without you,

there’d be no us

there’d be no poetry

You are the poetry

-Saschia

My fav Facebook Community

I grew up watching my brother and his closest friends play video games and also sneaking into my brother’s closet to read his comic books shhh. So finding a community on Facebook that included video games in their daily content felt just like home. I just wanted to take the time to share a link to my favorite community titled The Extraordinary Journey of a Black Nerd Group.  I think they provide interesting and engaging content including cosplay, movie reviews, funny memes, and great conversation starters.  The comments are usually the best part. I also love Marvel and they have a lot of pretty cool conversations on the comics and movies. I have learned so much in this group when it comes to all comic books. You should totally check them out!

Here’s a note from the founder and a sample post that made me smile.
“I created this group to share my personal journey as a nerd, and to provide an open and supportive environment for Nerds and Geeks of any race, color, or creed to discuss Comics, Video Games, Entertainment, Sci-Fi, Books, Movies and more!

This group Is neutral ground and a place to share our love of all things nerdy!”

-Jemal ‘PlanetEJOBN Founder’

 

 

https://www.facebook.com/groups/adventuresingeek/

Figured I’d add another convenience link for you to click. 🙂 You’re welcome.

Wet books

Wet Booksfantasy-2912873_1280

That smell of wet books and Chanel no 5
is no invitation
There are no arms open
stiff I freeze
Under my soles is the threshold
A cold door knob damp in my palm
Dead echoes haunt from behind
“Vanity!” they scream
A million hands reaching to save me from their sins
fingers grasping at my clothing
If only they would just listen
“hear me out!”
It’s no use their minds are with moons and times
sloshed together creating the great divide
“I’ll have no part!” I yell
stepping in
door closed behind
I’ll have no part that whisper left my mouth
slipping to the ground
I’ll have no part.

 

-Saschia Johnson

Bubble Bath

Bubble Bathsoap-bubble-1983918_1280

The tub is full and the bubbles bobble on top

My legs have adjusted

but when the rest of me sinks in

it burns.

In the tub, I’m a lost soul

venturing from the heavens to a five star hotel

It is there I’m considered a holy whore with no divine gifts

My words

they float in front of me popping the suds

And here I soak

without a clue and nothing to give

Here I sink

soggy as a sponge in the pits of the ocean

 

-Saschia Johnson