I just wanted to take the time to talk about it. Self-love, what is it?
Self-love is making taking care of yourself a priority. It’s not hedonistic. It’s basic wellbeing. In our culture, taking care of yourself is a luxury (especially right now with these gas prices). Even growing up in the church, they leaned heavy on the self sacrificial life style Self sacrifice is nice but when you sacrifice too much of yourself, the sustainability of your being gets drained. You have less ability to give and sacrifice for the long haul. Even Jesus spent time away.
But that’s not all, we have a majority of women, (not in all cases but in a majority of them), handling more of the load than need be when it comes to child rearing. They are not rewarded for taking care of themselves. They are rewarded for raising good humans. And don’t get me wrong, raising good humans is an honorable thing. But why are we not just as rewarding when mom’s take care of themselves? Why do we not have things in place so someone can step in to make sure the mom has time to take care of herself?
When I was raising my daughter, I was wiped out. I hyper focused on bills and the way my daughter looked rather than focusing on my own health and wellbeing. The truth is, I didn’t have an income large enough to focus on myself in that way. I also didn’t have a full grasp of burnout or micro aggressions that typically happen to women of color. So I was not taking care of myself and placed value in that while getting rewarded by everyone around me for being a good mom and a good worker. But it killed me. I didn’t want to be just a good mom and good worker. It wasn’t safe and it made my ability to problem solve and deal with conflict very difficult. I just wanted to be a normal human with feelings and forgiven for making stupid mistakes, (especially social ones). I wish I was more gentle with myself. I wish knew more about self care and self love. But I know now.
So I’m going to make sure I always wish, suggest, and reward rest and relaxation. I’m going to respect people’s time and apologize when things come that may take them away from their peace and wellbeing. I want to cultivate a place where we all do this. Where we encourage and congratulate self care so often that eventually we won’t have to congratulate anymore. It will just become the norm.
Here’s to making self love the norm