I am here and I am not leaving
I am in love and I will not stop loving
This place is what I’ve created for us
And I will continue to keep creating it for years to come
I will wait
I will cry
And I will write
Until you are wrapped in arms of safety
And we will build together all the things we’ve been missing
I feel it
I feel her
Please, someone help her forgive herself
Someone tell her to take responsibility for her own life
That’s the only way
Tell her stop worrying about everyone else
It’s not healthy and its showing is her life choices
Shes trying to just destroy herself
But shes tearing apart everyone else
Tell her she can do it
You can do it
Let that shit go
All the shit
He is not your job
She is not your job
Your job is not even your job
You are your job and that’s it
She wasn’t ugly
Not by far
Actually, she had a pretty face
A face you’d see in the mall
Maybe the girl across from you
buying panties and a bra
the one you smile at and politely
say excuse me to
She looks like she could be
your favorite cashier
Or someone who got straight A’s
She and I
We both felt that powerless sting
We both sat and wondered
What it is we did
to be left
Was it the sex
Was it something we said
After so much effort
And of course
We should have known
I mean, we knew
We knew he wouldn’t stick around
And someday another woman
Maybe the new girl will have
the same basic name as hers
Because it’s highly unlikely
to be the same as mine
in spelling at the least
It feels like bondage
she and I
we do not compare
Maybe in another world
In another place
In another time
My face is no basic face
And my body meticulously sculpted
Some dead some alive
And so while we are connected
she and I
By the same
Powerlessness a man has brought to us
We are not one in the same
And I hope and pray
That I never make the same mistake
Of falling for a married man
And acting on it
I found the one I wanted
We had a couple fucks
I might have fucked up in my choices
But here I am
Still writing poetry
And peeing on toilet seats
(Don’t worry I cleaned it up)
The world goes on without me
And I’m just fine with that
My toesies are tucked away
My heart wide open as the ocean
And my mind mine to explore
Let the world go on without us
Sit with me
I approve of you
I approve of your workout
And your smile
And the way you raise your babies
I see you learning and thinking things through as usual
To be specific
I like how you’re learning to trust yourself
How you can be honest about your shortcomings
And compromise with clear set boundaries
Let’s keep going
I am selfish with my love for the world
I will love you inside out
I will push and prod and poke
I will release and catch
And give you space
All to make the world a better place
what I would want
The world has greeted me
As if I’ve been exactly what it’s been waiting for.
After all this time
I’ve been giving it to everyone else
I think it’s been waiting for me to finally give it to myself
As long as I can put words to the way I feel, it’s free and open to the public. Unfortunately, living that way can frustrating because so many people are scared to share their own feelings.
Why would I continue to be so honest and care free with my thoughts and feelings knowing it leaves me vulnerable?
First, I know that sharing my feelings will give others the strength to share their own. Or help others to know they’re not alone in their own experiences.
Second, it helps me to have and set realistic expectations because over time expressing myself helps me learn what things bother me and what things make me smile.
And last but not least, when I’m finally around groups people who share their thoughts and feelings without fear, it’s so liberating for me. Makes me want to provide that space for people as well.
Why do you share your feelings or why don’t you?
1. Allow yourself to fall. Cry, scream, nap, do self care.
2. Get healthy. Healthy diet and exercise help with a healthy mind.
3. Talk it out. Find someone who is in a healthy place emotionally to talk it out.
4. Set goals to focus on for the next year. Not so focused they become a crutch just a means to move forward.
5. Surround yourself with communities that share your interests.
6. Trust your gut. When something doesn’t feel right, trust that. Don’t let people take advantage of your vulnerable state. If they weren’t there through the struggle chances are they won’t be there through the healing.
7. Move forward. Stay away from environments that no longer serve you. Learn the signs and patterns of toxic behaviors and set boundaries immediately so you don’t end up in the same situations over and over again.
8. Learn to be ok alone. Become your own best friend. Learn yourself. Take up hobbies. Feed your brain.
The Art of Letting Go