A place where you can be human.
Today wasn’t much of a vacation day. Lots of momming was done, but I took moments for myself. When I finally got home, I melted into my relaxation. I’m grateful for my life. I’m grateful for where I get to be in life, and I’m excited to keep going. There’s not much to complain about, especially when I get to be home with my family. My family really means the world to me.
What are you loving about your life?
Spring Break Day 3
“Reading is just a vacation you pay less for, with an agenda you have no control over.” ―J.S. Wik
Reading, a tiny bit of homework, and light cleaning were my plans today. I took a nap, and I’ve been slacking on my mom duties in the name of vacation. It’s so liberating to let things go when you’re on vacation. To rest from that urgency to be in places. To take things slow even as I’m slowly preparing to return to my normal life. It’s so freeing to be able to take my time during the day. To think about what you want and move toward it with ease.
I forget what that feels like, lately.
I wonder how I can bring this with me into my next week?
“The secret of success is making your vacation your vacation” -Unknown
I’m taking it all in. Slow mornings. Reading books. Taking the time to make meals I love and all the self-care I have the energy for. Deep sigh.
Along with all this free time, I’ve been thinking about my 40th birthday. I have ups and downs about it. One thing getting me down is that I planned to graduate from college years ago. I definitely feel like I went backward when it comes to college. So I’m just trying really hard to appreciate where I am in life. But on the flip side, I’m still here and learning to live my life gently and passionately. I value my life more now than I ever have before. I value my mind, my timing, and my friendships. I’m still learning to value my sensitivities, but I’m happy to learn to accept them and love them.
Do you have any vacation plans? Or Dream vacation plans?
“It’s very important that we re-learn the art of resting and relaxing. Not only does it help prevent the onset of many illnesses that develop through chronic tension and worrying; it allows us to clear our minds, focus, and find creative solutions to problems.” -Thich Nhat Hanh
Spring Break Day 1
I made soup with these little tiny noodles, sausage, greens, and beans. I made two salads: a cucumber salad (my current obsession) and an apple salad (my newest obsession). This is ultimate self-care for me! I love healthy foods. It’s having the energy to make them that is hard to come by for me.
Then I just chilled around the house and took a nap. Of course, there was a critical part of me that tried to make me feel bad for resting, but I wasn’t having it. I’ve been working my butt off since January. It’s okay for me to take Monday to rest and make healthy choices for myself.
I’ve ventured out!
I bought horror and some mystery books this weekend. I usually stick with classic fiction, but I got a bag full of books from authors who are living and breathing. I also haven’t really had a reading mindset while working, but I’m feeling curious about the world of horror and mystery lately.
There was a type of book I wanted to look for but didn’t know how. I really enjoyed the Serpent Queen series about Catherine de’ Medici, the 16th-century Queen of France. I enjoyed it way more than I thought I would. I can’t imagine finding a book that has that same psychological vibe to it. Is it a psychological vibe?
So anyway, that’s my next challenge. If you know of any good books similar to the Serpent Queen series, please recommend.
“And I said to my body, softly: ‘I want to be your friend.’ It took a long breath and replied: ‘I have been waiting my whole life for this.” -Unknown
I’m on spring break from college, and it feels so right!! I know my week off will fly by, but I’m going to do my best to enjoy every moment, or as many as I can, at least. I’m just glad I have made it this far and with all assignments in.
“The important thing is not to stop questioning. Curiosity has its own reason for existing.” -Albert Einstein
I was just thinking today about how I used to be so curious about the human mind. It was a huge driver for me. But I did reach a point where I felt like my curiosity was satiated. Not that I finally knew all the answers, but that I reached a full set of satisfying answers. When I felt like I finished, I got this aching feeling of loss, like when you finish a good book or when a concert ends that you really enjoy. They say to stay curious, though, and it’s probably because once that thirst is gone, you sort of float around looking for the next best thing. There’s plenty to question. The search never truly ends. Maybe there was more to it than simply satiating the thirst?
What do you think?
What happens when you feel like you satisfied your curiosity?
“This world is but a canvas to our imagination.” -Henry David Thoreau
I love art. I love creating. But I love learning the rules. I love seeing how other people create and use techniques to their own advantage. We get to apply all that to our lives. We aren’t stuck. We can be diverse and unified in this beautiful world. We can share techniques, find our own ways to success without compromising the lives of other human beings.
Do you love learning the rules? Or would you rather figure it out yourself?
“Vulnerability is not weakness. And that myth is profoundly dangerous.” -Brene Brown
We are supposed to have moments where we question whether we can do this. We are supposed to show up every day with the freedom to choose. That is the adventure that comes with chasing our dreams. The fact that we can choose to quit at any moment on any day. But we finally choose us. We finally say, “No more! It is my turn.” We make that commitment to ourselves, even in moments where it feels completely impossible. And when we get there, when we get to the end, we get to say to a little girl just like us, “it is possible.” And when we say it, we will believe it so deeply and so confidently that maybe, just maybe, that one little girl will choose to chase her dreams too.
And that is why we keep going against all odds.
“Art enables us to find ourselves and lose ourselves at the same time. The mind that responds to the intellectual and spiritual values that lie hidden in a poem, a painting, or a piece of music, discovers a spiritual vitality that lifts it above itself, takes it out of itself, and makes it present to itself on a level of being that it did not know it could ever achieve.” -Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island
Jayne.Press has always been my artist space. It’s a place where I can create in different ways. Sometimes, it’s poetry, sometimes it’s short stories, sometimes it’s just me rambling on about tiny snapshots of my journey. I like that I’ve created this space where I can let myself be weird and unhinged. What I have learned from Stephen King, Sylvia Plath, and Salman Rushdie is that we don’t have to make much up in our writing; we already live in a very strange world. With that being said, fiction is my freedom. Writing is my liberation. I liberate myself every single time I sit at this keyboard and let myself be exactly who I am in that moment. There’s been nothing else like it for me.
Thank you for joining me on this fantastic journey.
Jayne.press