Self-doubt is a bitch
She sneaks up on you with questions
Simple logical questions
And then she brings in reason
And your well-meaning friends
That’s when everything you wanted to do becomes a mountain
Do it anyway
Fuck self-doubt and all her questions
It’s like
Shouting into the wind
I shared and I shared
And I yelled and I screamed
Not even an echo returned
Just breath
Not even silence
And I noticed the other day
How you gave me a hint
Just a tiny peak inside your mind
All for a fuck
You knew my weakness
I’m learning though.
I see now
how you’ve made it so far
Without being present
-Sasch
She is filled to the brim
With her own approval
There were days when she looked for it in others
But one day she decided the only one she needed approval from was herself
He is something I want to myself
He is real and innocent
He reminds me of Christmas morning
The moment you unwrap the only toy you asked for
Or that burst of energy you’ve been waiting for since noon
He’s a tight squeeze on a rough day
And just the words you need to hear on good day
He is me
And I am him
A collection of all the things that brought us together
-Sasch
There are days when I’m down
When my tear ducts ache
There are days when I stand behind my inner warrior
So my fire can fight the good fight
And there are days when I crave whiskey and risky behavior
But most days I just feed the blank page
That’s how things stay in perspective for me
-Saschia
Mid winter
Is too cold to show you
The flowers I’ve collected from
But stay a while
Let’s get drunk on honey
And maybe you’ll find
the remnants of pollen
left between my thighs
-Sasch
Walls cluttered with the sex I hid myself in
Heart so full I forgot about myself
Mind so conflicted nothing mattered
I kicked the pedestal and let myself get lost in immorality
The mortal in me forgotten
Until I fell face first by the hands of men I never trusted
That’s when I lost respect for your rules
That’s when I gained respect for myself
A far fall a slow rise
-Saschia
When the time comes
You might know it
Or maybe it won’t come
Some say it’s all already planned
That our biology chooses
Is it the no that’s freedom ?
Is it the giving in?
I hope to not know the answer any time soon
-Saschia
Oh, how his flames leaped forward
to swallow the shadows
he could have melted me
but I am what he’s made of
a fallen star
a musical conundrum
the dust grips me
his natural state
a tornado of right now
a black hole of present
I didn’t want to escape it
All I wanted to find
was the why to this nothingness
-Saschia
It may seem I’m falling away
I probably am
My stomach aches
My mind hurts from my own roaming eyes
From shards slipped between each fold
I can promise you I really don’t want to
Fall away, that is
But this shift is making me uncomfortable
This unreliability scares me
Deep deep in my bones
And so I refocus on being the constant
In my own life
Which makes me busy
And sleepy
-Saschia
