Not That Type

I do want to avoid this

I’m not the waiting type

I get what I want

I’m spoiled rotten

But impatience keeps making me

Pay the price

So now I’m over here

Forcing myself to focus

So I don’t become that good wife

Sitting around waiting

Like maybe he’ll come home

Just To feel this all over again

I’d rather be

in the back seat for this one

But I won’t

Call me Captain or something

I’m taking the wheel on this one

-Saschia

Weary Girl

It may seem I’m falling away

I probably am

My stomach aches

My mind hurts from my own roaming eyes

From shards slipped between each fold

I can promise you I really don’t want to

Fall away, that is

But this shift is making me uncomfortable

This unreliability scares me

Deep deep in my bones

And so I refocus on being the constant

In my own life

Which makes me busy

And sleepy

-Saschia

8 Ways To Fall Forward

1. Allow yourself to fall. Cry, scream, nap, do self care.

2. Get healthy. Healthy diet and exercise help with a healthy mind.

3. Talk it out. Find someone who is in a healthy place emotionally to talk it out.

4. Set goals to focus on for the next year. Not so focused they become a crutch just a means to move forward.

5. Surround yourself with communities that share your interests. 

6. Trust your gut. When something doesn’t feel right, trust that. Don’t let people take advantage of your vulnerable state. If they weren’t there through the struggle chances are they won’t be there through the healing.

7. Move forward. Stay away from environments that no longer serve you. Learn the signs and patterns of toxic behaviors and set boundaries immediately so you don’t end up in the same situations over and over again.

8. Learn to be ok alone. Become your own best friend. Learn yourself. Take up hobbies. Feed your brain.

 

 

The Art of Letting Go

She’s Dead

I’ve softened from the wheel of time

My heart, swollen from loss

From love

These tipped toes move through the crevice where my suicide mocks me

And life burns my loose ends

I have become the voice I died for

Her crown tossed to the floor

Neglected by my attention

What is the reason for this, but my empty stomach

Starving for more more more

Heart

-Saschia