I want to spit out perfect first drafts. It’s true. But what really really helps me deal with the perfectionist monster is making myself write these blog posts everyday. Some days they are great! Most days I’m just keeping routine. It’s the discipline. I heard an entrepreneur say don’t be 100% everyday. You’re going to burn yourself out doing that. Have a 1 or 2 days a week that you work 100% and then prioritize tasks on other days.
I’m gunna be honest as a consumer, I can’t tell when you’re working at 85% vs your 100%. Somedays I just need you to open the door for me. So as a consumer, none of the stuff behind the scenes matters to me on a daily basis. Let yourself start sloppy and master cleaning it up. Let yourself have restful write days and then have writing days where you go hard. I’m not saying don’t cover yourself. I’m not saying cut corners. I’m saying don’t burn yourself out because what you have to give is more valuable than you realize especially when you’re doing the work on a daily basis.
This writers life isn’t for the weak! Well, actually that’s wrong, it’s for everyone (we’ve all heard about Hans Christian Anderson) but a combination of grace and discipline really helps to keep the stories coming. And that is exactly what we want, your stories!
There is no one who can give you wiser advice than you can give yourself: you will never make a slip, if you listen to your own heart.
Marcus Tullius Cicero
This is something I always work on. I try my best not to give advice unless someone asks for it. There’s too much complexities in life to give unsolicited advice. There’s people who want to pick up what you put down. Share with them. Cultivate with them. Connect with them. That is where you’ll shine. There’s going to be people who don’t want advice and that’s their loss. They miss out on the golden nuggets you have to offer. You are better off and so are they.
What’s funny is here I am giving advice, but let me explain, when I write these posts here, they work as great reminder to myself in the future. They are like my own little fortune cookies. I learn a lot from my past self. Writing is everything for me. It’s my guidance, my words of affirmation, it’s how I teach myself, plus it’s fun!
Let me start with this, I’m a lover of flowery prose and H.P. Lovecraft!! But when I’m being spoken to audibly, (especially when being given direction) I can not sit through the bullsh*t. I laugh writing this, because I love hearing people’s stories. I love listening. So that isn’t true all the time. I appreciate a good story told to me but I also appreciate candidness. I think it’s important to understand that we all communicate differently which also means that we need to be understanding when people don’t fully pick up what we’re putting down (especially the first few times). There’s typically differences in syntax, body language, tone, word choice, volume and so many other things
I read somewhere that leaders have to repeat themselves over and over again. That once we have said it so much our face is turning blue, is when the point finally starts to sink in. It’s not the best advice but I needed to hear that because now I know that I’m not the only one repeating myself (Just a reminder I’m a mother lol)
Communication is a complex monster that I’m always working on getting better at.
At the end of the day, the best thing to do is be present. Feel the sheets. Feel the skin on the back of your hand. Feel the breeze from the fan. Your day has come and gone. There’s no time like the present to care for yourself. At the end of long and stressful days when you’re getting home feeling defeated, remember it’s just one day and you did your best. Learn from what has come and gone so you can make tomorrow even better!
I like to try and remember to end my day with positive affirmations. I shared one the other day, “I am an infinite and evolving being.” That one really helps me work through my mistakes and it inspires me to learn from them so I can show up tomorrow ready to move forward with confidence.
I don’t know it all. I’m not supposed to. I’m supposed to live and learn and have feelings and make silly mistakes. Life is far too precious to live any other way.
“Whenever you’re going through a bad day just remember, your track record for getting through bad days, so far, is 100%. That’s pretty darn good.”
If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.
I have this behavior where if there’s an event/appointment coming up, I can’t do much of anything until it comes. It can feel exhausting sometimes. Fortunately, the day has finally arrived so now I can stop waiting. My life can continue on in the same direction it has been.
I’m not sure if this is something I need to change because I’m still functioning while I wait, the only thing that really happens is that I can not to make any commitments big or small.
How about you, do you freeze up when you have an event/appointment coming up?
In giving birth to our babies, we may find that we give birth to new possibilities within ourselves.
Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn
Having my first daughter made me realize how strong I was and having the second baby made me realize how I was too hard on myself. What’s great is both times that my mindset shifted into a place that helped me see more possibilities. Having my first born propelled me into so many situations where being brave was my only option. And having my second made gave me so much more appreciation for my mind and body.
Lately I’ve been making the girls the girls their lunches because it makes me feel good to do it. It does take a pretty big chunk of time that I didn’t have to set aside before, so I do have to adjust my schedule to make sure I’m fitting lunches into my daily schedule. What’s really nice about packing the girl’s lunches is that it feels like my love can extend even further. I laughed thinking about this and thought to myself, “Well, I have the energy for it.” It’s funny because I desired to do things like this and shamed myself into the “I’m too lazy self-talk.” It was all lies. If you would havetold me 4 years ago that today I’d have the energy and not only that but also to joy to be able to laugh at myself, I’d call you a liar.
As my little one swims toward the open arms of her older sister for the first time, my heart swells with joy. This little one has brought so much freedom into our lives. Both girls have so much value that they bring to the table. My oldest is logical and articulate with natural leadership skills.
My little one has a big heart with a free and stubborn spirit. They both have a fire in their hearts that I hope burns forever. But to see them bonding while laughing and playing together was one of my favorite parts of the vacation. I just wanted to be around them and their fun the whole time. They brought so much adventurous and positive energy with them.
“The positive thinker sees the invisible, feels the intangible, and achieves the impossible.”
It’s not always easy but keeping your mind on good things really helps you maintain your composure in the midst of tough situations. I don’t mean passivity. I mean stepping into a complex situation and being able to manage it because you’re mind is focused on good and positive possibilities.
Here’s some positive thoughts
This can work out. Things can get better. I will reach my goals. I’m always changing. Someone who chooses to step away from me means that I am better off and so are they. There is enough. I’m talking time, love, money everything. It’s all about how we manage them.
Change your thoughts, change your world. Keep dreaming. Keep hoping and keep your mind focused on the good.