Now What?

Phew! I am feeling this transition, and it’s really overwhelming. So, I wanted to share some things I do to help me through the overwhelm during what can feel like big transitions.

First, I focus on allowing myself to move as slowly as possible. I do my best to prioritize the important things.

Second, no matter how slow I allow myself to go, I still have responsibilities, but I give myself more breaks than normal. I don’t power through overwhelm; I pace myself through it. I feel my way through it and I take note because it’s great writing material. check check

Third, I check in with friends and loved ones. They make me happy, and I love to make them happy when I can as well.

Fourth, I have no choice but to be extremely mindful of my inner self-talk. This cap rising does not like a slow pace. This cap rising wants to get shit done! So I have to remind myself that there are times when I’m a f*cking unstoppable machine, and there are times when I’m a tortoise in the hot desert sun. So cap, I need your order and your drive, but let’s focus it on my hair for the week instead of building empires.

Fifth, I write.

Those are the top 5 things. That about sums it up here in a few words, but let me tell you, the hard part is putting it to work and defending it.

Spontaneous Changes, No Thanks

“Life is a series of natural and spontaneous changes. Don’t resist them – that only creates sorrow. Let reality be reality. Let things flow naturally forward in whatever way they like.” -Lao Tzu

This is one way to live. It’s a peaceful option and one with little resistance to external factors. I often lean toward the route with the least amount of resistance. As I grow older, I also lean toward the paths where the least amount of energy is burned. I only have so much to give, so I have to divvy it up strategically. Spontaneous change is not my favorite. I prefer things to go as planned unless things are changing for the better, which is always easier for me to accept. Vertical change isn’t so bad; the change has little to no impact on my original expectations. It’s the ones where I just have no idea what’s going to happen that get to me. The uncertainty crawls under my skin and lives there. I don’t like it.

How are you with change? Ride the wave? Hate it? Love it?

The Call

If you’re debating whether you want to write, that’s the first call. The next step is whether you decide to answer.

I’m excited for the amount of writing I have on the internet. I’m glad I can take a walk down memory lane and see my old thoughts and my old struggles. It makes me smile to see that I’ve gained more confidence in the thoughts I often think aren’t worth sharing.

A Decade of Blogging!

I’ve been writing a whole decade and all I have to show for it is this.

When I started blogging, I was working on a project called Ambition in Women, which turned into over a decade of working on myself. I’ve always had a fire in my soul to fight for women’s rights. That may have something to do with Legally Blonde, Mona Lisa Smile, and Christina Aguilera. The point is, I knew at a young age that expectations for women were not fair or liberating. And now here I am with a deep belief in a world where women can live without ever being raped, where their cycles are honored, and their voices are welcomed with open arms. And even more so, sinking deeply into the softness that comes with the rest revolution.

I’m extremely proud of the woman I have become and I hope that I fully embrace 40 with my entire soul because getting here was no walk in the park.

Buy the Ticket, Take the Ride, and Find Peace There

“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.” -Virginia Woolf

I’m going to do my best to grab life by the horns. I’m here for this entire ride, and it’s easy to forget that.

“Buy the ticket, take the ride.” -Hunter Thompson

Sitting things out locked away, in a tiny safe space day in and day out isn’t it. I thought really hard about becoming a monk or spending summers away, and I just knew peace would find me there. But after my second week away on my little pilgrimage, I realized that the challenge isn’t to live in solitary peace. The challenge is to create peace in chaos, retreat to peace for moments inside myself so that I can then gift peace to those I love. Peace for me is very holy, but it isn’t some solitary act. Peace is the one thing I can cultivate and give away for free. One of the phrases going around is “Be his peace.” (referring to a significant other.) And I think that really shouldn’t be limited to a single man in your life. Gift it to everyone you love, to those who are weary, to your kids, and the list goes on. Peace is a collective act.

A Million Ways

“The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.”  -Terry Pratchett

There’s a million stories; I feel like it’s not just telling yourself the story but deciding the best story that reflects the vision. What’s frustrating is that visions aren’t always easy to translate within the limitations of language. At the same time, there are a million ways to tell a good story. It just takes time, intention, and someone who cares a whole awful lot.

How’s your writing coming?

The Big Secret

“My writing process is a mix of research, personal experiences, washing the dishes, raising kids while thinking – then writing.” -Jean Craighead George

I feel like this quote is giving away the big secret to writing. Imagine this is where it all comes from, not magic at all. I still believe there’s a mystery involved in the whole process, but at the same time, this is the big secret to writing. And it wasn’t me who spilled the beans this time.

Destructive

“There is something unwholesome and destructive about the entire writing process.” -Joy Williams

This is the most honest and real quote I’ve seen yet when it comes to the writing process. I like to fantasize about having a neat desk, with a neat outline, and the story unfolding, in order, exactly when I sit in the seat. But no. I have to go out and hunt for it, strangle it, remind the universe that I absolutely love it to the core and that this is just the sculpting. I love writing for what it gives me, but to be the type of writer that has to take something away from the process, it’s hard af. The authenticity, the questioning of what’s true and what’s necessary, it all will drive a stake right into my heart and make me question whether any of this has ever been worth it. And yet, every time I walk away, I’m a little more aware of myself. I’m a little more aware of the human condition, and I do feel it brings me closer to God more than most other things do. So in the end, it’s not a question about whether it’s worth it. The question is do I have what it takes to finish what I started? And the answer is yes, I have what it takes.