Keys you have them Slippy mind you tucked them in your chest prepared to unlock the world
You don’t need to wait, you can open it for you.
Saschia Johnson
There are so many times we wait for someone else to unlock the door for us but the whole time we have the keys tucked away. Don’t forget that you have everything you need inside you. I know, I know, sounds like something from an animated children’s movie. But hear me out, let’s cool the keys what they are, tools. The tools you’ve acquired to get where you are now, are so valuable.
Our minds filter out what it thinks we don’t need. They say we don’t notice details when we take the same route to work every day. The same happens with our natural gifts. When we do something so easily, we tend to undervalue it, maybe even think anyone could do it. But it’s not true. Yes, some people could probably do it and some people might do it better but the point is, that tool is yours to open doors with. It doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing with theirs.
If you’re good at walking and you just love walking, organize a group. Walk in a way that challenges you. Find a job that you can walk to. Add music and make videos online until you and your tribe find each other. It’s way too often in this life that these valuable gifts are overlooked. Those doors are yours, so get those keys out.
You don’t learn to walk by following rules. You learn by doing, and by falling over. -Richard Branson
There’s a whole body of research around what’s called “the mental load.” It’s something that women also disproportionately bear. … It’s all of the stuff that you have to keep in your mind.
Here’s a quote from a journal titled Invisible Work by A. Daniels from Oxford University Press that speaks on both women and impactful volunteer work
The lack of social validation implicit in disregard of all the [home planning] required tells women this effort doesn’t count as work; and they themselves often discount the effort it requires. Another area where the folk idea of work is too restrictive is in the distinction between paid and unpaid labor commonly associated with work–even in the public world. The work of community service volunteers is useful, but that it is not paid tells others— and volunteers themselves that it is not needed, not really important work despite all the lip service about the value of altruistic endeavor.
Daniels, A. (1987). Invisible Work. Social Problems,34(5), 403-415. doi:10.2307/800538
I don’t need all this “credible” validation but it makes for better writing when you add quotes from people who paid a lot of money to have authority to say them. I’m taking a break from the invisible and visible domestic duties. I felt like sharing so other women who share their home can take a break with me. Then we’re not in this alone. I don’t mind breaking alone but aren’t we so much better together.
Amazing things don’t start out as a masterpiece. There’s just this chaos of thoughts with many different names that we as artists morph into one thing. We grab a bit here a bit there and create where we need to.
There’s many different reasons people decide to create things. Some people do it to heal. Some people do it solve a problem and some people create just for the sake of creating. I like to think, I dabble in all of those things. Which is why when I start, it’s chaos. There’s three different things that need to come out in one versatile medium. I have something to say, something to heal, and I have creativity inside me that needs to let out.
For me, Creating is a mosaic. It’s a collection of so many things. I want it all with one amazing idea to work with. Even if the idea seems simple enough, it takes the messy creativity to get to the simple idea.
He toils away his days tossed like the dirty laundry that’s left next to the hamper. Not an ounce of passion pulses through his tired veins. His insides sink below the earth while his muscle memory does the work
Am I of any use here? he shouts to the heavens. The wind places itself into his net What use am I to the wind?
This poem was originally published on a Medium publication titled Know Thyself Heal Thyself. The highlighted sections are the lines Medium readers appreciated most.
What you’re willing to die for, should be the same as what you’re willing to live for. Death is inevitable. Not in a depressing way but we all know it’s coming. What’s unknown, though? Your greatness? The impact your writing will have? How much you will change with your mere existence? Those are all unknowns and they always will be. One of my favorite songs from Eminem’s Music to Be Murdered By -Side B album is his song titled Higher. Here’s a line
All I know is every time I think I hit my ceiling I go higher than I’ve ever fuckin’ been
That’s something worth thinking about. For a long time, I knew my daughter was the only thing in this life worth dying for. I said that religiously. But I was killing myself. I had destructive thoughts. While I did enjoy fitness, I still wasn’t taking in enough calories so it was taking a toll on my mental health. My digestion went downhill. My emotions went downhill which had an impact on my relationship and ability to make proper decisions for the future of my daughter.
Then it hit one day. Okay, you’d die for your baby and your mom but what are you willing to stay alive for? Life is fuckin hard as shit. So hard in fact that living in a healthy way is the best most precious gift I could ever give to myself and my daughter.
That shift in mindset changed my entire perspective on why I’m alive and how I should be thinking about my purpose, my motivations, my disciplines, and my relationships.
So yes, how did you die, but it also means (and more importantly) How did you live?
How Did You Die?
Did you tackle that trouble that came your way With a resolute heart and cheerful? Or hide your face from the light of day With a craven soul and fearful?
Oh, a trouble’s a ton, or a trouble’s an ounce, Or a trouble is what you make it, And it isn’t the fact that you’re hurt that counts, But only how did you take it?
You are beaten to earth? Well, well, what’s that! Come up with a smiling face. It’s nothing against you to fall down flat, But to lie there-that’s disgrace.
The harder you’re thrown, why the higher you bounce Be proud of your blackened eye! It isn’t the fact that you’re licked that counts; It’s how did you fight-and why?
And though you be done to the death, what then? If you battled the best you could, If you played your part in the world of men, Why, the Critic will call it good.
Death comes with a crawl, or comes with a pounce, And whether he’s slow or spry, It isn’t the fact that you’re dead that counts, But only how did you die?
“Many stories matter. Stories have been used to dispossess and to malign. But stories can also be used to empower, and to humanize. Stories can break the dignity of a people. But stories can also repair that broken dignity.” ― Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie
I’ve explained in my previous posts, (here, and here) that I’m going to be more intentional about the books I read. So I wanted to take the time to share my journey with you guys. I’ve begun this journey by google searching “books by black authors.”
Please note: This is only the beginning, I intend to network and connect with lesser known authors as well. Moving on.
I want to read books from individuals whose voices need to be heard and understood, in order create social change. I want to keep a forward momentum on all of our efforts. I do believe that right the internet is a great place to create social change. It can allow people to search up topics without judgement. We just have to make the topics visible to everyone. Also, I have learned mostly as an author, that reading books helps me to notice similarities I have with the others, whether it be the author or the characters. I love that feeling when I’m reading and I’m like “Oh, they thought of that too!”
Ok, I won’t make you wait any longer, here is the list of lists of black authors from reliable sources.
This is Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. She is an award winning author from Nigeria. She speaks in this Ted talk (which is now one of the most viewed Ted talks of all time) about how we need to be careful of the single story.
Without saying too much, I find it so commendable and inspiring of her to admit that she fell into the same flaw as the people who frustrated her most. She fell for the flaw of believing the single story.
When it comes to stories, I’d never refuse a good book that was handed to me. I read books from outside of my culture regularly. But then I thought about it and the truth is, I only read them because of school or because someone well read suggested them to me. I haven’t intentionally searched for reads outside of what’s suggested to me. Which naturally leads me into the world of dominant culture.
This talk was eye opening for many reasons, but most of all, that it is time I began to intentionally search for stories outside of American and European pop culture. Then I want to listen to what is missing from the stories I’ve already been told. I want to do this because I don’t want to limit myself from learning to accept that humans, in every walk of life, are my equal.
I’m trying to find new places and communities on the web. I don’t usually venture out, but lately I’ve been in a search of active communities with lots of friendly connections.
I’ve signed up for Twitch because growing up, I loved watching my brother and his friends play video games. Plus, a friend I made on Instagram goes live on there so that was a great motivator to get me signed up and look around. I’m new to it, so I’m still trying to find more gamers I’m interested in following. Right now, I follow two people.
Eivlya-She’s currently playing through the entire Legend of Zelda series. and ItsKingKhaos– He’s quoted saying, “I’m not the best gamer but I have the best time gaming. I started the SWEATY GANG to make friends and build a community of people motivated to chase their dreams.” He’s welcoming and fun to watch.
I’m under Jaynepress. I’m still learning so bear with me.
I signed up for TikTok mostly because GaryVee suggested it for entrepreneurs. I’m kinda overwhelmed by all the buttons, but I’ll figure it out. It is fun to watch fitness videos to get ideas for workouts. I still have to find other videos I’d be interested in. On other platforms, I mostly watch educational, informative, or even motivational videos. So that’s probably what I’ll be searching for on there in terms of community. I haven’t found people I’m excited to follow just yet.
I’m just barely on LinkedIn but frankly, that site makes me feel like shit. Not sure what I’m going to do on there. I’ll slowly rebuild it, maybe, I don’t know.
I’m always looking for writing communities with pretty active members. I like WordPress communities that fall under certain hashtags, but it isn’t as active as it used to be. My favorite hashtags on WordPress are #creativewriting, #darkpoetry,#blogger, #art, #prose, #poetry, #anxiety, and #depression.
I really likeInstagram and Twitter right now for writing communities. Their #amwriting community on both platforms has blown up since Nanowrimo mingled with covid, but it’s gets pretty active in November anyways.
Nanowrimo is an amazing community for writers! I have some pretty close friends I’ve made from connecting on Nanowrimo. It’s National Novel Writing Month and it’s every year in November. It’s like a game where you write a novel in a month. Very fun with so much support and education for writers of all levels.
Also there’s a couple groups on Facebook that are pretty awesome for writers. You can go in these groups and ask questions and answer questions. Some let you share your page to increase your following. Very fun.
I have actually been struggling with finding a good community on Medium. Community wise these are the platforms I really enjoy Genius in a Bottle, Know Thyself, Heal Thyself and The Intoxicating Unhinged Mind. I think their community members are pretty active and supportive. I just feel like this platform doesn’t allow a lot of connection which is why I always add my other platforms on the bottom of my posts.
Please feel free to connect with me on other platforms to message and chat about writing. I always try my best to follow back.
Also what are your favorite communities in general? Share generously. 😀 We are all craving connection out here.
