From the angered deep
The water sloshes
Globs of water
Thicker than waves
Youths lift fishies by the gallon
And do gooders curl up in corners
But the untamed the uncouth
They dive in
Some make it back to the boat
Others don’t survive
“Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful.” – Samuel Johnson (1709 – 1784), English Author, Poet, and Literary Critic and Writer
I had been thinking about the good guy vs the bad in a collection of short stories I’ve been working on, and I was reminded that in life no human is ever pure bad or pure good. What is most important when developing my characters is that I display my characters as their true selves. Whether they are good or bad doesn’t matter. As long as I display them as true as possible, they will make the choices themselves. The truth is we all teeter between being the good guy and the bad guy. And the gray area where we can’t seem to navigate is what makes us human.
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Bad Guys -On Writing
Quote Via https://www.decision-making-solutions.com/ethics_quotes.html
“Our doctrine is, that the author and the reader should move along together in full confidence with each other.”
Anthony Trollope, Barchester Towers
This quote really hit the nail on the head for me. I need confidence in my writing so that my readers are confident in my writing. The feeling like need a reason to write has been making me lose confidence in my short stories, when the truth is, even if I don’t feel like I’m saying something, in just writing about my character’s day to day activities is, for me, finding beauty in the mundane. On that thought, I may think it’s mundane, but not everyone has lived the lifestyle my characters live. Maybe some dream of the monotony from their chaotic lives. Others may have lived similar lives and relate on a level that can’t be easily explained. So hopefully, this will be a reminder to me to go confidently into what I feel is the mundane story so that my readers will feel confident to walk the story with me.
What kind of things help you regain confidence in your writing?
Writing everyday is getting easier. It’s finding what I want to say that is the challenge for me. I search and read and think and talk to people and then it hits me and I write about it until it loses it’s magic. Then I’m back where I started.
It’s not that I lack inspiration. I have overwhelming amounts of that. It’s more that I want to stand for something I believe deeply in.
How I’m feeling about my writing lately
I haven’t really been able to settle into a story I’m committed to. I’ve been jumping around different short stories hoping to find one I can snuggle into or one that makes me so uncomfortable I can’t help but think about it. I’ve been using my own life, the things I want in life, fictional ideas, etc. I just don’t really feel connected to any of them. It helps when I know what I want to say.
With all that being said, I write anyway.
Today I was having a hard time focusing. So I decided to just have fun with my writing today. I didn’t focus on a concept, or a theme. I also did not try to root my focus on anything in the background while I wrote. I just wanted my characters to basically dance in the rain. I had my wild woman show her curious silly side and my male character show his playful flirty side. It felt good to let go of all the demands for a time.
What kind of things do you do to get the words out when you can’t focus?
It’s natural for me to write in first person, so lately, I’ve been giving third person a try. It was uncomfortable for me at first to write that way. I felt like it distanced me from the story and my characters, but I feel a better connection with my characters lately. I’m not sure what really pushed me to try writing in third person. I think it was being so tired and just having to get something down. Then I realized it was so bad. I guess it’s proof I’m evolving and growing as a writer. Yay
Today I decided to go into a fantasy world in my writing. I finished writing about the rough stuff and decided to write about how I feel when I’m loved. Of course it probably looks chaotic and a little unreal but when I’m loved that’s how my world feels. It feels like I could do anything. And you know what, it’s crazy how much more motivated I feel when I choose to love me. Loving me also opens my heart to let others love me and that is the connection we all crave, right, to love and be loved.
I am loving myself by writing this post and also writing encouraging words on my other social media platforms. How do you love yourself?
This past month, I have been taking time to recall my past year. It’s been tough to feel like I’m putting myself through the past again, but in September, while I was going through a rough patch, I found myself diving headfirst into a lot of pieces I wrote over the years. Hearing how I felt in different situations gave me perspective and helped me to heal myself. I also began to go through a lot of my old Facebook posts. I truly thank past Saschia for the encouragement she constantly poured out. So from here on out, I’m going to make sure I record my current thoughts and feelings even if in my present moment they seem insignificant. Also, I’m going to post on my social media as if I’m speaking to my future self so that when the time comes, I’ll have someone telling me exacly what I need to hear when I need to hear it. So basically, writing and posting my feelings in the present moment is loving myself. Did you write today?
She grasps his hand
It felt like a place where love lived
Hand in hand
They shared lies and secrets
Thoughts and their brokenness
Cracks of light break in
And they can think of nothing else
But each other
Writing in and out of reality
And into the depths of my psyche
Sometimes the narration is loud
But most times it’s silent
It’s usually us pushing and
Me typing one word at a time
To finally write a thing
If that makes any sense