Toady was one of those days I wanted to go back to sleep and try again tomorrow. Today was also one of those days where everything went the way it was supposed to. No traffic, gas in the tank, food in my belly, under my calorie goal, hydrated. I mean everything went nice and smooth. I’d call that balance.
There was a long period of time where the sadness wouldn’t shift. Most of the sadness had to do with miscarriages, healing from past traumas, and life not going the way I wanted it to. But these days are so different. I’m energized. I’m excited about my tomorrows. And I’m happy with my todays. So the feeling I had this morning was like an old friend that I know very well. So I’ll take today with open arms and love the same way I would any other old friend. I’ll also be happy to see my today move forward so into my present happiness.
There is something about certainty that creates passivity until the thing happens. Rather than taking advantage of the moments in between what we currently know and what we will know, it becomes waiting. We gotta stop waiting til we’re certain. We gotta start doing what we’re called to do regardless of the discomfort that comes with uncertainty.
I was listening to a clip on Instagram the other day and it really hit home for me. It was about successful entrepreneurs. A man said that people really push for entrepreneurs to be risk takers and to play with big stakes. But some of the most successful entrepreneurs didn’t play with high stakes. They took calculated risks. They didn’t know what was going to happen but they had things in place just in case things went south. I found that interesting. I think some people who haven’t done the research, don’t realize how much isn’t at stake when stepping into uncertain situations.
We wait and wait and then the end finally comes and we wish we didn’t waste so much time waiting. We wish we spent more time enjoying the life that’s right in front of us.
Point is that certainty isn’t required so stop waiting for it.
I just wanted to take the time to talk about it. Self-love, what is it?
Self-love is making taking care of yourself a priority. It’s not hedonistic. It’s basic wellbeing. In our culture, taking care of yourself is a luxury (especially right now with these gas prices). Even growing up in the church, they leaned heavy on the self sacrificial life style Self sacrifice is nice but when you sacrifice too much of yourself, the sustainability of your being gets drained. You have less ability to give and sacrifice for the long haul. Even Jesus spent time away.
But that’s not all, we have a majority of women, (not in all cases but in a majority of them), handling more of the load than need be when it comes to child rearing. They are not rewarded for taking care of themselves. They are rewarded for raising good humans. And don’t get me wrong, raising good humans is an honorable thing. But why are we not just as rewarding when mom’s take care of themselves? Why do we not have things in place so someone can step in to make sure the mom has time to take care of herself?
When I was raising my daughter, I was wiped out. I hyper focused on bills and the way my daughter looked rather than focusing on my own health and wellbeing. The truth is, I didn’t have an income large enough to focus on myself in that way. I also didn’t have a full grasp of burnout or micro aggressions that typically happen to women of color. So I was not taking care of myself and placed value in that while getting rewarded by everyone around me for being a good mom and a good worker. But it killed me. I didn’t want to be just a good mom and good worker. It wasn’t safe and it made my ability to problem solve and deal with conflict very difficult. I just wanted to be a normal human with feelings and forgiven for making stupid mistakes, (especially social ones). I wish I was more gentle with myself. I wish knew more about self care and self love. But I know now.
So I’m going to make sure I always wish, suggest, and reward rest and relaxation. I’m going to respect people’s time and apologize when things come that may take them away from their peace and wellbeing. I want to cultivate a place where we all do this. Where we encourage and congratulate self care so often that eventually we won’t have to congratulate anymore. It will just become the norm.
Once you reach a place of creative freedom, your writing life becomes your responsibility. You must learn when enough is enough and when not enough is not enough. You must narrow down your own projects and expand your own ideas. What’s great about creative freedom is that it’s all yours.
It’s all yours with no one to answer to but your inner being. However, coming from any type of rigid environment and being thrust into creative freedom can be overwhelming and unpredictable. You can choose to close the door and walk away or you can step into your creative freedom and answer the call. Your inner being is counting on you.
Here’s the thing, some people place themselves in limiting mindsets for comfort and to be free from the accountability of managing themselves. They’d prefer to be managed. Does that hinder creative flow? Yes, but only because you’re choosing to live with a limited mindset. Which denies you access to who you could be if you took responsibility for your creativity. Creative Freedom is a choice accessible to everyone. People build innovative machines while sleeping in a garage. Artists go in so deep they forget to eat for days. Women make quilts while in devastatingly abusive relationships. You don’t need to be in perfect health, in perfect financial standing, or in any type perfect place to access creative freedom. Does money and security help and do I want it for everyone? Hell yes! If you don’t have money or security does that exclude you from creative freedom? Hell no!
So the point, creative freedom, desiring it, taking actions to access it, answering the call to it, is yours.
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Tomorrow let’s talk about how you don’t have to seek out negative experiences to create art.
Inspiration for the mind, body, and soul sounds nice to me. It has a ring to it that invites me to be creative in a way that satisfies on multiple levels. When we are connected to our creations, we can feel the creative freedom filling our mind, body, and souls. It can be tricky to stay connected but isn’t it such a great feeling when we are?
How can we make sure we are writing in a way that gets inspiration to fill our mind, body, and soul?
I say, write about what you’re interested in. That’s it. It should be so interesting to you, that you’re willing to read it a million times for editing. So inviting and fun that you’ll do what it takes to meet your readers where they are, so they can enjoy it too.
Something like that at least.
Alright back to editing my experimental fiction that I have enjoyed writing and editing but I’m ready for it to be finished. I wish it was finished.
The Three Freedoms you need to take advantage of to experience ultimate creative freedom are Freedom to grow, Freedom to be heard, and Freedom to listen. Let’s start here.
What is Creative Freedom?
Creative freedom is having the freedom to create without limitations. Before we dive in, I wanted to explain that this post is geared toward Conscious Writers. I describe conscious writers as writers who don’t just write to write they write with the intention to grow internally.
When we first began writing, we had so many limitations that we didn’t realize before we really dove into the writing world. We did and may still have to learn formatting, sharing our work to be critiqued, plot and story development, character arches, how to market our product. And it always seems, where we excel in one area, we are weak in another.
Once we get more practice at all those things, we have less limitations. Point being, some limitations disappear with practice.
There’s different types of limitations when it comes to creative freedom, but I don’t want to take this entire post to focus on all the limitations. I want to take time to talk about the limitless access we have to creative freedom and what that means to us as Conscious Writers.
Lock up your libraries if you like; but there is no gate. no lock, no bolt that you can set upon the freedom of my mind -Virginia Woolfe
When we learn to write without limitations, we can share our message with the world in an unlimited amount of ways. When we allow ourselves the space to be new at something, to make mistakes, and evolve, we inspire creativity within ourselves. When we inspire creativity in ourselves, we can’t help but make art. We learn what doesn’t quite work so we can make it work better next time. That tells the world, I’m here and I’m not leaving. No matter where I am in life, I will create art through writing.
Going through the Three Freedoms (Freedom to Grow, Freedom to Be Heard, and Freedom to Listen), my intention is to provide creative writers with the tools they need to realize their creative freedom even when it seems like everything around them is limiting their creativity. Creativity can’t be tamed and locked in a box. It is ours and we have unlimited access to it. (Until we’re dead and even then, there’s a chance we still have access to imagination.)
We are on a journey and our writing is proof we’re still alive. In poetic terms, each page is an exhale.
Jayne.Press
Freedom to Grow
Creative freedom is a gift we have as humans beings. It liberates us from a world that would be just fine seeing us lose our life to fit into their box. I started writing my For the Conscious Writer posts in 2020 with the intention of having it lead into a mentoring program. (I created a link in case you want to check out some of those posts on Medium.) I let fear and uncertainty knock me off track. I didn’t want to do it alone. I also didn’t want to make a fool of myself while developing a program that I care about so much. But no more! I’m not going to let fear keep me from being exactly who I want to be and who I’m excited to be.
Let’s break free!
I’ve taken time to gather the most important aspects to creative freedom. I came up with three freedoms for creatives that lead to the ultimate creative freedom.
Freedom to Grow
Freedom to Be Heard
Freedom to Listen
I want to take some time to focus on the first one.
Freedom to grow, what does that even mean?
Freedom to grow as a writer is allowing yourself to expand into new places and spaces that will give you more experience, wisdom, and knowledge.
Why do we need freedom to grow?
Referring back to the definition, freedom to grow gives us more experience, wisdom, and knowledge. Those things together with self reflection and inner growth give us power behind our message, confidence in our craft, and they give us the strength to keep going when all seems lost. One of the most beautiful things that comes with allowing ourselves the freedom to grow is the ability to shine our light for others to see in the darkness.
When I let fear dictate my life (very recently for me) I become complacent, bogged down, and I feel like I’m spinning my wheels. In this state, I often forget the tools I have that can help inspire me and feel like I’m growing as an artist. Aka the tools that help me avoid burnout.
Here’s the three tools
I know you probably have some ideas but let’s keep our minds fresh with some different ways you can experiment, read, and connect with other writers to keep you inspired and interested in your creative writing. Inspiration and interest are like your shields against burn out, writers block, and stagnancy.
Experimentation
As writers experimentation helps us break down barriers in ourselves and in the world that surrounds us. Exploring different ways to share our message helps us reach different audiences with a more powerful impact. Readers want to enjoy what you have to share. What you have to say is so valuable to our collective growth. Experimenting really gives our work edge and helps us to meet those in need, exactly where they are. Here’s a list of different ways to experiment with your writing.
Formatting
Writing styles
Character development
Different Types of writing
Different mediums (painting, acting, sculpting)
Tone
Time
How you engage with your readers
How you invite the world to read your work
Being intentional about our experimentation gets us out of the boxes we create for comfort to avoid fear. You don’t have to master every experiment. The point is to get out there and try new things and experience the writing life. You may remind yourself why you enjoy the genre you write OR you may find your experiment is exactly what’s missing in your life. You never know if you don’t try.
Read
Read everything.
Magazines Blogs Non fiction Fiction Comics Sales pitches Poetry Business writing eBooks Paperbacks Hard covers Large print Unpublished works Screenplays
Yes, I know you guys already know that reading is important, but what I really want to encourage is to take this even further. I think it’s important for us as conscious writers to make sure we’re reading more than what’s fed to us. I think it’s important for us to follow the white rabbit that takes us outside of the “norm.” So…
As Conscious Writers I respectfully ask that you read two things. Read
outside of your typical genre and Outside of your own culture
All the books!
The only way you can become a better writer is by reading the works of other writers. Reading another writer’s work whether they’re someone you know or a dead poet, expands your perception. It may help you see someone else’s side of the story. The hardest genre for me to read is romance but there are some great romance scenes that melt my heart. Another hard thing for me, is to find books outside of my culture at the library. I kinda just wander around and pick up what looks good. But I’d like to be more intentional about what books I pick out. There’s too much world out there to keep reading writing from the same class and culture over and over again. I want so much more than what I already know. It’s adventurous and daring, and it takes work but writing is the path we chose (or the path that chose us) and we want to develop. Getting better takes some effort.
Learning the best way for you to give and receive criticism
For support -to give and receive it
For ideas
For Friendship
Connecting with other writers takes you out of the vacuum or that spiral calling your name. I think there are times in your writing process where you shouldn’t read books (especially from the genre you’re writing in) and you shouldn’t converse with other people about your work. But outside of that point in the creative process, it’s important to talk to other writers. Why is connection with other writers important though? Because first off they understand the writing experience. They understand the woes and joys that come with writing. We don’t all experience the same thing as writers, but we have a great deal of understanding in comparison to those who don’t commit themselves to writing. Plus, it helps us better understand the human experience. It’s 2022! We have the ability to talk to people outside of our own countries!
When we are forced into situations that consistently silence our thoughts and feelings, it makes us wonder if we bring any value into the world. In turn, that leads us to wonder if we are valuable at all.
Let’s put an end to that question right now with some words of affirmation.
You are valuable. Your thoughts and feelings are valuable. What you have to say is valuable and you are valuable inside and out.
Let’s discuss
Were you silenced when you had something really important to say?
or
Is there a book you can think of where a character was silenced when they had something to say?
I’ll share both a story and an experience in my life. The first story that comes to mind for me is Mary Shelley’s, Frankenstein. Frankenstein’s monster only wanted to be heard and listened to but people were too afraid of his appearance to hear him. This caused him to feel unloved and unaccepted. Here’s a quote
Frankenstein’s monster found other ways to be heard and understood. Let’s pretend, in a world where he was heard maybe he’d say something more like,
I will not cause fear when I can inspire love.
Well, that’s what we shoot for. The point is, he was being silenced when all he needed was to be heard and understood. As we can see by the monster’s words, (not our pretend ones) he chose to take a path of destruction when he was consistently not heard by both those around him and his creator. But let’s find a better way than Frankenstein’s monster. Let’s get our voices heard.
Ok let’s talk about a personal story for me. When I was in high school, I was really struggling. I cried daily in school. I had frequent absences. I had super low self-esteem and barely ate food. One day, I begged my mom to call the school and explain to them how much I was struggling. She asked for a mentor and/or books so I could get homeschooled, but since I was a “good kid” they wouldn’t help. I eventually found myself at night school and graduated with my diploma but getting my diploma didn’t solve the problem. I needed more. I needed someone listen to me, hear me, and take time to understand me and the things I was struggling with at home. It would have been life saving. My academics didn’t need support, I needed to be heard and understood. I was never taught how to validate my own feelings. I was never taught how to listen and understand myself. All I knew was that I needed more support and I was struggling to find it. I continued to struggle even with a high school diploma. Eventually this lead to destructive behaviors into my adulthood. The toxic relationships, over-giving, and still not eating enough all grew bigger and dominated my adulthood. Once I got to college, I finally got more support. I learned to listen to myself and learned the many ways (that I used to think was selfish), I could intentionally take time to understand myself.
How does all this apply to creative writing?
In writing, I get to let myself be wild and free, like my hair. I make my characters or the narrator speak up, I have them ask questions, and they even rebel against those who don’t respect their thoughts and feelings. I have learned so much from studying the development of all my characters, and I try to use my writing to find different ways to advocate for myself.
So to answer the question we started with,
Why does being heard and understood feel so good?
Being heard and understood by others mirrors your value back to you, but we can’t place our value in others. Some people don’t listen or understand themselves, maybe they are still learning to fully value themselves. This means they aren’t capable of reflecting your value back to you. We must learn to mirror our value back to ourselves. This is where listening and understanding yourself is the direct path to creative freedom. Why? because the amazing gift you receive from learning to hear and understand yourself is that you can genuinely bring value to those around you by just being you! And as an added bonus, this brings value and depth to your characters! It’s wild how everything is so connected. I love it.
So let’s go back to our words of affirmation. Words of affirmation are great, buuut what’s important when it comes to words of affirmation is to believe them so intently that your actions line up with them. Here’s the affirmation again.
You are valuable. Your thoughts and feelings are valuable. What you have to say is valuable. You are valuable inside and out.
How would -or do your actions support these words? If you’re still learning to hear and understand yourself, what can you do to show that you believe these words are true?
Here’s some ideas.
As conscious writers, we must take time to hear and understand ourselves so that our freedom to be heard can be endless!
What habits help you to hear and understand yourself?
Meditation
Patience
Nap
Solitude
Minding your circle
Staying away from spaces that silence you
Creativity
6 Ways to intentionally hear and understand yourself
Use words of affirmation followed by supportive actions
Believe yourself
Allow your feelings to flow through you and trusting they have their place in your life
Study the works and lives of leaders who inspire you
Learn your values and goals
When people say nice things about you, believe them
*Bonus*
Do what you feel pulled to do. What interests you, what inspires you, what you are curious about –follow those things. This is one of the most fun and adventurous ways we learn to understand ourselves.
In conclusion, when you find your freedom to be heard, you will have gained one out of three of the most important tools that lead to creative freedom!
I wanna share your art, poems, and writing that represent you getting your voice heard!!
Tag me and use #freedomtobeheard and #fortheconsciouswriter so I can share your work with
Freedom to Listen
A dangerous book will always be in danger from those it threatens with the demand that they question their assumptions. They’d rather hang on to the assumptions and ban the book.”
Having the freedom to listen to stories that are not (yet) accepted socially, that aren’t in line with my country’s political system or culture, that aren’t in line with my own moral obligations, allows me to really think about what our options are or could be especially in the time of crisis. It gives me more perspectives. Gives more power to my choices. I can respectfully disagree and then show the world why through my writing.
I’d like to start by sharing a piece of my life. I’ve been blessed to live on both sides of the coin. I have both been deprived of literature and shown what it’s like to have the freedom to read what feels like an unlimited amount of books. The freedom was and is so exciting for me. I was brought up in a Christian home and attended a private Christian school so I did not have the freedom to read anything and everything I wanted. It always felt like something was missing in my life. Thankfully, we had Charlette’s Web and a few X-men comics which lit up my whole brain. We had more books but they were all Christian based. And let me be clear, I’m grateful I was raised learning the stories in the bible. I think they are rich in symbolism, thought provoking, and gave me a firm foundation for the writer I’ve become today. But there truly is freedom in reading things outside of my own beliefs and culture. Esoteric reads, Rimbaud, Plath, journal articles all light my fire and were not accessible to me until college. They all pique my curiosity, push me to keep learning and connecting with others who share my curiosity.
THE MIND THAT OPENS TO A NEW IDEA NEVER RETURNS TO ITS ORIGINAL SIZE.
If I had access as a youth to more literature that opposed my beliefs, I could have said, I’ve read the literature for these other religions and I still choose Christianity. I feel it gives my choice more weight because I made the choice on my own among all the other options. I also feel it would have made me more understanding to those who hold different religious beliefs.
Today, I know how important is to hear stories from all over the world. It is vital to expanding our minds and stepping into new perspectives. I don’t believe in banned books. I think we should have access to them all. “Won’t it overwhelm us?” some might ask. This is a perfectly logical question. Especially with this being the information age, it can feel like we’re drowning in answers. I must say, as conscious writers, we don’t have to drown ourselves in information. We can gather resources and execute at our own pace. We can get through one piece of literature at a time.
This like any other freedom comes down to you. It requires, setting aside time to not only read but search for literature, art, and music that is outside of your norm that you can critically think about. This new you that comes from searching, is your freedom to listen. The choice is always yours.
I challenge you this week to search for something outside of your belief and culture and write about it.
Meditation is important when it comes to every aspect of this writing process. From before conception and getting it out on paper, to the stage of completion. Starting any work of art with meditation helps with making a smoother transition. It’s kinda like the oil. Creates less friction during the creative process.
Some artists find the answers during meditation. Some find their confidence there. Some find nothing at all but peace which more than enough in a world where writing can be a rebellious act.
Getting in a good session of meditation is great for before writing but it also helps especially when you’re at a tough spot in your writing process, to meditate afterwards. Quintin Tarantino in an interview said he always gets in the hot tub after he writes. So I jumped on that train and decided that when my writing gets tough, I’ll push through then give myself a hot bath with candles, salts, and all. It really helps me transition and accept where I am in my process. Sometimes I let more ideas come at that time but I don’t write them down then because this is a place of calm and I trust that if those ideas are important they’ll return. But sometimes I can’t help but jump out and write down them down.
Meditation in a valuable tool to have when you write and what’s great is that there are so many ways to do it. Sitting quietly, walking, journaling, sipping tea, the ways to meditate are endless. Once you find which one works for you, it will really help oil your gears and get those words flowing.
“Artistic freedom is not a luxury. But the rights of artists are under threat worldwide. These include freedom of creation, freedom of movement, freedom of association, right to protection of economic and social rights, right to participate in cultural life. The UNESCO 2005 Convention on the Protection and Promotion of the Diversity of Cultural Expressions puts forward that human rights and fundamental freedoms, and the ability of individuals to have access to diverse cultural expressions, must be guaranteed. Discover interviews with key civil society actors engaged in this area.”
When I was young, love was all about the way people made me feel. Making sure I made people happy, is how I loved others. I learned over time that love isn’t some strange tingly feeling. It’s your actions.
Let’s start with yourself. Loving yourself requires a significant amount of action.
What is not loving yourself? Things that make you unhealthy physically, mentally, and spiritually. Toxic foods, toxic thoughts, and toxics belief systems are not healthy.
Taking action to mind yourself is loving yourself. That’s it.
Once you can manage that, you add another human in your life and partner on minding yourselves together.
“I’m just a big believer in ‘you must love yourself before you can love anybody else’ and I think for me that breeds the most inspired relationships.”
While washing the dishes today, I was straining to see if the dishes were clean. Finally after squinting through a couple rinses my daughter came in the kitchen to make herself a snack while telling me about her day. When I looked at her to listen to what she had to say, that’s when I realized the light wasn’t on over the sink. Once my daughter turned on the light, I could see everything more clearly.
How can we look at life with this silliness?
Sometimes we’re straining and struggling to see in an environment where the fix is something as simple as flipping a switch. First let’s note how it would have been a waste of energy to blame my own poor vision. So often we jump to attacking ourselves rather than the environment we’re in.
In this situation, taking my attention away from the task at hand is what ignited my realization. It wasn’t just some annoying distraction, it was my daughter who is a priority over the dishes. I want to hear what she has to say. So it was easy for me to disregard that task for a moment. So let’s think about this. It was a combination of my priorities and my daughter simply being herself that prompted me to realize my problem. She wasn’t there to solve the problem. I didn’t ask her how to solve the problem, the answer came to me naturally.
Maybe the way to realization is as simple as maintaining your values and priorates while inviting loved ones to just be themselves in your presence.
It might not solve everything but at least you’ll have someone there to listen to.
Jayne.press 