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FREEDOM TO GROW

Fact #1

I’m going to share the basic fact about Freedom to grow That everyone should know. Before I knew what Freedom to Grow was and felt like, I was always struggling to break free from oppression. I eventually came to realize that I wasn’t ever going to feel free inside the box I placed myself in. This led to burn out that led to so many great friendships but also back allies, bad choices, suicidal thoughts, and lovers with no commitment.

Finally I created a space where I was so free I couldn’t help but rise. Which brought me to the #1 and most basic fact when it comes to freedom to grow.

Before we even get to the number one fact about Freedom to grow 😆 let’s talk about what blocks your freedom to grow?

Here’s one example For me

I don’t have freedom to grow and feel boxed in when I can’t ask questions and speak on the things going on inside me good or bad. I know my side of the story doesn’t always need to be told but if I have the courage to speak about my side of the story around you, you are valuable to me.

🥳➡️Question Time⬅️🥳

What hinders your freedom to grow?

💡💡💡Remember #sharingiscaring co create with me 😁😁 Let’s build a world where freedom to grow is accessible for everyone. 💡💡💡

Shout out to @keithslatebuthere
And @nell_chickabee
For really getting deep with their own thoughts on Freedom to grow. You guys inspired me to keep going!

I Surrender

Not complacent. Not apathetic.

I’ve come to a place of surrender in my life. Not complacent. Not apathetic. I have reached a fully feeling, big dreaming, and pleasantly peaceful point in my life. I want all of what I dream of so bad, that I’m willing to trust the process that has been laid out in front of me for years. I’ve clung so hard to so much. I clung to what the elders in my life clung to. I clung to anxiety and not eating enough and not sleeping enough and making myself suffer in order to make my dreams come true. It’s so silly. We’ve really been raised to destroy ourselves as parents, as workers, as friends and lovers and as dreamers. I’m sorry to anyone who I looked down on because I thought you weren’t doing enough. Your actions are exactly what I needed to see was possible and ok and safe.

I’ve reached a place that I like. A place where I love myself and I love my home and coming home. I love my job and going to it. All that I do adds to making the world a better place. A healthy home to raise two strong women who will lead in our future, a job that supports a healthy community, a husband who’s growing along side me, and loving myself in the middle of it all.

When I was a kid it was hard to get me to do anything outside of my alignment. Even as a teenager being out of alignment was hard for me. They called me naïve and prude and whatever else and I probably was both of those things. I still had a lot of the world to see and learn. I had more books I needed to study but at that point, I was happy to be in a place that felt right to me. Now I can accept that part of me. The weirdo that didn’t party. That weirdo that didn’t know who the most popular actor or musical artist was at the time.

I’ve been raised by a woman that endured more than most people ever will in their lifetime. I’m so proud of how smart and creative she is and how gentle she was in raising my strong and stubborn spirit. I’m glad I left high school and that she supported me every step of the way because she believed I’d be successful no matter where I graduated from. I’m glad I chose to have my two beautiful baby girls in spite of all the chaos going on around me. My mother was the best option for who I was and who I’ve become and who I’m going to be.

And so looking back and seeing how it all led here, I also see that it was going to lead here regardless of what others might have thought about me. Regardless of all my own fears of abandonment and my own resisting, I turned out ok! I turned out more than ok. I have nothing left to prove. So I surrender.

Originally published on Mollitiam Follow link to read more

Your Character’s Path

When you’re writing a character, don’t forget to make bad choices an option presented to them as a way to fulfill their desires. We as humans have to calculate risks all the time. Those in leadership positions have to calculate risks that may affect more than themselves. Those who aren’t in leadership still have to deal with the consequences of their choices and how they affect those around them. When your character realizes what they want, they should go through a series of options. They could scratch their itch one way which may seem easier and more accessible but ultimately leads to their own demise. Or they could scratch their itch in a way that lines up with their long-term goals and desires. This of course defines who is a hero verse who is the villain. Or just defines the turning point in which your character decides to take on the characteristics of a hero or a villain. Whatever they choose, they still remain on a journey. A path toward inner destruction is just as much of a journey as a path toward inner creation.

The River of Creativity

I like to think of creativity as a river. All the creativity and innovation in the world is in that river. You just have to wade the rivers of creativity and let it come to you. Sometimes it can take hours to capture the thing that piques your interest. Sometimes it comes to you in no time at all. When I was a kid, I remember playing in house corner for hours. I’d do my baby dolls laundry, organize the little space the way I wanted it, make dinner and feed my baby doll. I’d play so long I ended up sleeping in the house. I tell that story to remind us all that we have to let ourselves play for hours. We should play so long, we fall sleep doing it. I have to admit, lately I’ve got so much going on that I don’t have time to play creatively. I keep telling myself, things will get easier soon. Things will come together and give me more time to play and create and read and write the things I have fun writing about.

Finish reading this article on Medium

Dream Home

My dream home is a four bedroom house with a dinning room. I love my home now too. It’s the idea of us all having our own room that keeps me dreaming of more. Our home now is wonderful. It’s our first home. Something about it being our first home makes it meaningful. When we first moved in, it was a whirlwind. I was trying to get pregnant while in school full time. Simon working. Gymnastics for Nov. It was all going by so fast. All the dreams I had for home improvement never happened. Now that we’ve both changed our work life, we’ve been able to do more home improvements than we were before.

I’ve learned so much about homemaking and domestics since I first moved in. (And still learning.) We’ve really come together as a family to continue to make this a place we all want to live. One thing, I decided early on in the life of homeowning was that I didn’t want to move into a new house until as a family we learned to take care of the home we already had. I don’t know what’s going to come in the future but I do know, I’m proud of how far we’ve come.

Quick Reminder

Keep going

I care about my readers. I’m grateful for every view that I receive. I say that, because sometimes I feel like I’m not putting enough effort into the writing I share. Not enough soul or passion. Sometimes I feel like maybe I’m not spending enough time writing. I definitely don’t feel like I’m reading nearly enough.

But I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. I’m doing enough with the resources I have. I’m working toward big things that require big commitments. None of this will happen over night.

Self Care

What does it take to take care of yourself? What does it take to say no to the things that don’t align with your values?

My initial answer is a job. An income. But that doesn’t make much sense at all. It doesn’t take having a job to say no to things that don’t suit you. On the contrary, having a job requires you to know how to say no for your own sustainability.

It does take money to feed, clothe, and house yourself. I’m not saying you don’t need money for basic needs. I’m saying you should take care of yourself whether you have the money or not. Walk, read books, make friends with yourself, write, these things are all accessible with or without a job.

Point is that finally having an income isn’t going to instantly make you take care of yourself. If anything. it will exasperate the problem. Separate the idea of taking care of yourself from having an income. They are both important but the job relies on you taking care of yourself. It shouldn’t be the other way around.

Your Words

Don’t swallow your words before they reach the keyboard.

First drafts are supposed to be riddled with scattered thoughts. You are supposed to let it all out and organize it later. When we don’t allow our minds the space to unload, we lose that connection to our creativity. There’s writers out there writing entire novels and still starving for creativity. Letting your mind wander is one of the most important aspects to creativity and inspiration. That is exactly the place for your first draft or even your writing journal.

Don’t stifle your creativity while doing creative work. Let it flow. Let it happen.

I’m not always able to work at full capacity. It’s important for me to be honest with myself about that. I am a social entrepreneur because I consistently show up. Not because I’m good at it, not because I can raise millions of dollars over night or that I have some outrageous following. I’m a social entrepreneur because I consistently care, show up, and adapt.

I’m no business guru but I know that burn out is a huge issue in the non profit sector. According to Tiloma Jayasinghe who wrote an article Avoiding Burnout and Preserving Movement Leadership in the Nonprofit Quarterly

Nonprofit executives in particular face a high risk of burning out, and this is even more true for leaders of color

Further in the article she gives advice on how to manage yourself while you’re burned out. She says “do the things that feel selfish and indulgent.” I believe self care in nonprofit work is a necessity for sustainability. Burn out can cause all sorts of negative feelings, emotional and physical both of which if unchecked can lead to suicidal thoughts and ideations or ultimately suicide.

Consequently, about 30 percent of nonprofit workers are burned out, with an additional 20 percent in danger of burning out. That’s 50 percent of the nonprofit workforce at the end, or near the end of their tether. That’s half of the humans who drive this nation’s third-largest employment sector not being able to sustain a long-term career without compromising their health, resilience, and security.

I need reminders sometimes about why it’s ok to work daily in small steps. I hope that someone else will use this reminder and be gentle on themselves. We don’t need to consistently work at full capacity. We just need to work consistently. When you understand that building a business takes time, you save space for the finished product.

“Best Option”

Yesterday I briefly spoke about how I’m adjusting to going into non profit work (You can read it here.). One of the things I said was, “so, this seems like the best option.” I just want to explore that for moment. There is clearly some hesitation in that statement. Maybe even some insecurity. Let’s be honest we’re all a little nervous to start something new. We all make mistakes, so a little hesitation is perfectly healthy and understandable. Yeah, I’m scared a lot. With a lot of paperwork and people and looking stupid and even more so causing stress to someone I respect and love. Being a leader comes with great responsibility. I knew that when I signed up for the job.

Now that we’ve gotten all the honesty out of the way, let’s talk. My first and last job was the same job within the nonprofit sector. I have worked at many other jobs. A donut shop, glorified babysitting for gamblers, a golf course, shoot I even worked at a summer camp simply for the experience. I have tested the waters and have gone to school and began my education. Once I gained more of an education, I was sure that nonprofit work was going to be in my future no matter what.

So when I say it seems like my best option, that was me understating that this is my dream job. And even with all the mess, with all the chaos and confusion, all the meetings (most of which I love), and all the uncertainty that comes with start up, this is what I’ve waited years to do. I want to be successful at it. I dream about being successful and I do the work. I’m going to keep going.