Grace

“Grace is what matters in anything – especially life, especially growth, tragedy, pain, love, death. That’s a quality that I admire very greatly. It keeps you from reaching out for the gun too quickly. It keeps you from destroying things too foolishly. It sort of keeps you alive.” -Jeff Buckley

I lead with grace. I leave with grace. I do my best to navigate conflict with grace. I think grace is how I rebel against manipulation. I feel free when I use grace as my way to go. I don’t think this is for only men or only women. I think this is a mindset that can be shared regardless of gender.

When grace becomes an act of avoidance, that means it’s time to move on. You can only show grace so many times before it’s taken advantage of. There’s a time for grace and there’s a time to go.

What do you think about grace? Did you lock it up with a key or do you shower the world with grace?

Walking Contradiction

“An artist is someone who can hold two opposing viewpoints and still remain fully functional.” – F. Scott Fitzgerald

Fitzgerald hit the nail on the head with this one. I have so many contradictions living in me. Most of my actions are based on my values, but I’m not perfect; I have weak spots that I won’t disclose here. The point is that writers (and artists) are typically more aware than most of their contradictions, and it’s not easy to live with them, but it sure helps shape a story.

Do you do your best to keep all your beliefs in line, or are you also full of contradictions?

Make Every Accomplishment a New Beginning

“A great accomplishment shouldn’t be the end of the road, just the starting point for the next leap forward.” -Harvey Mackay

This is my day to celebrate the last day of the semester. I got myself a Reese’s cup, and now I’m going to take a couple of days to relax and decompress.

How’s your goals? What are you celebrating?

Life as Art and Breaking Free

“Stand boldly at the cross roads and make an art of it.”

Your life is your art. Your reality is your escape.

You get to wake up and decide who it is you will serve, what it is you will serve. I often lean toward the things that set my soul on fire. I’ve been quite sleepy for while. A bit of a bore cooped up in the desire to get paid. I can’t serve that master. If there’s one thing I learned over these past two years it is that I was meant for something different.

And now, I’m feeling restless. I’m feeling ready to break some glass windows. I want to hear them shatter across the ground. But to be clear, they must be useless windows, not windows anyone would ever have to pay for. I want to feel the breeze while staring up at the full moon. I want to be chin deep in a hot tub and spill secrets between kisses. I was not designed for the rigid 9 to 5. That shit shriveled up my soul and hung it out dry. For me, 9 to 5’s are a slow erosion. So slow, in fact, that I barely noticed my soul went missing.

What do you love about being alive?

Life is Art

“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.” -Havelock Ellis

I’ve never been any good at letting people go. That’s one huge reason why I make sure I connect with people I truly want around forever. Because this girl just loves people forever. But I agree, learning what’s worth hanging on to and what’s worth letting go of is an art. I mean, yeah, there are basic things that are a no-brainer, but there are some murky waters where it’s not so easy to know. And oftentimes it has no ethical standing. It’s just a choice, not good or bad either way. The great news it that you get to stand boldly at the crossroads and make an art out of it. What a life you have to live.

What are willing to let go of? What are you hanging on to? Personally, I’m hanging onto this femininity vibe.

Empowered by Femininity

The moon is full and so is my heart.

Wow, I was absolutely not expecting this femininity journey to take root the way it did. And this full moon is bringing up so many beautiful thoughts and emotions for me to sift through and learn from.

I’m not quite ready to share all my thoughts and feelings, but I can share that not embracing my femininity felt like a sacrifice I had to make for my family, for the bills, for the long term, but none of that is true. In the past few weeks, I had a dance party complete with colorful lights with my girls, I have been painting my own nails (nothing crazy, just 1 shade of quick dry), been exercising, working on my skin care, and appreciating books and podcasts by women. I’m feeling so empowered. I’m digging into this journey, and I’m excited to see what femininity has in store for me next.

Did you see the moon?

Appreciation

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” -Theodore Hesburgh

Creating a home where a woman is free to become the best version of herself is one of the most important things you can show your children. This journey to my best self is solitary and very personal, but in order to move forward through this journey, I’ve had to rely on my husband to take on more than normal while I’m also in school. He’s really stepped up and made sure the girls have what they need. For that, I’m very grateful. My girls get to see that they will never be stuck, that they can change their careers, chase their dreams, and rest when their bodies call for it.

Basket Full of Us

On this journey, I’ve learned to love in ways I have always wished to be loved. It was much easier when I was young before all the betrayals and heartbreaks. But I’m happy to feel myself returning to a place where I can love whether I’m intimately close and from a distance. It has been one of the most liberating things on my journey. As women, we often feel that in order to love, we must also show it physically or materially. But the truth is our love from a distance is equally as powerful.

I love where you are in your becoming. I love where we are in our unfolding. I love that you can love me from there and I can love you from here. I appreciate that we are aware of each other’s growth, regardless of how subtle those shifts are. They may be hidden to those you share a table with, but here in this space, in this distance, I can feel you bloom.

What makes you feel loved?

Most Transforming Force

“The connections between and among women are the most feared, the most problematic, and the most potentially transforming force on the planet.” -Adrienne Rich

I didn’t know who Adrienne Rich was before this quote, but she’s on point with it. Adrienne Rich was called one of the most widely read and influential poets of the second half of the 20th century. One of her works, called “A Human Eye: Essays on Art in Society” (2009), even secured her place as one of America’s preeminent feminist thinkers.

I’ll leave you with the first stanza in her poem titled, Planetarium.

“A woman in the shape of a monster   
a monster in the shape of a woman   
the skies are full of them”

I’m sold! I look forward to reading more of her work.

You can find the poem here

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46568/planetarium-56d2267df376c