A place where you can be human.
If you’re debating whether you want to write, that’s the first call. The next step is whether you decide to answer.
I’m excited for the amount of writing I have on the internet. I’m glad I can take a walk down memory lane and see my old thoughts and my old struggles. It makes me smile to see that I’ve gained more confidence in the thoughts I often think aren’t worth sharing.
“All gave some; some gave all. Remember them this Memorial Day.”
I’ve been writing a whole decade and all I have to show for it is this.
When I started blogging, I was working on a project called Ambition in Women, which turned into over a decade of working on myself. I’ve always had a fire in my soul to fight for women’s rights. That may have something to do with Legally Blonde, Mona Lisa Smile, and Christina Aguilera. The point is, I knew at a young age that expectations for women were not fair or liberating. And now here I am with a deep belief in a world where women can live without ever being raped, where their cycles are honored, and their voices are welcomed with open arms. And even more so, sinking deeply into the softness that comes with the rest revolution.
I’m extremely proud of the woman I have become and I hope that I fully embrace 40 with my entire soul because getting here was no walk in the park.
“You cannot find peace by avoiding life.” -Virginia Woolf
I’m going to do my best to grab life by the horns. I’m here for this entire ride, and it’s easy to forget that.
“Buy the ticket, take the ride.” -Hunter Thompson
Sitting things out locked away, in a tiny safe space day in and day out isn’t it. I thought really hard about becoming a monk or spending summers away, and I just knew peace would find me there. But after my second week away on my little pilgrimage, I realized that the challenge isn’t to live in solitary peace. The challenge is to create peace in chaos, retreat to peace for moments inside myself so that I can then gift peace to those I love. Peace for me is very holy, but it isn’t some solitary act. Peace is the one thing I can cultivate and give away for free. One of the phrases going around is “Be his peace.” (referring to a significant other.) And I think that really shouldn’t be limited to a single man in your life. Gift it to everyone you love, to those who are weary, to your kids, and the list goes on. Peace is a collective act.
“The first draft is just you telling yourself the story.” -Terry Pratchett
There’s a million stories; I feel like it’s not just telling yourself the story but deciding the best story that reflects the vision. What’s frustrating is that visions aren’t always easy to translate within the limitations of language. At the same time, there are a million ways to tell a good story. It just takes time, intention, and someone who cares a whole awful lot.
How’s your writing coming?
“Novel-writing is, for the novelist, a game of let’s pretend.” -Philip Roth
When writing this novel, I’ve found the best way to keep going is to find the fun in it! Mary Poppins sings it well.
“My writing process is a mix of research, personal experiences, washing the dishes, raising kids while thinking – then writing.” -Jean Craighead George
I feel like this quote is giving away the big secret to writing. Imagine this is where it all comes from, not magic at all. I still believe there’s a mystery involved in the whole process, but at the same time, this is the big secret to writing. And it wasn’t me who spilled the beans this time.
“There is something unwholesome and destructive about the entire writing process.” -Joy Williams
This is the most honest and real quote I’ve seen yet when it comes to the writing process. I like to fantasize about having a neat desk, with a neat outline, and the story unfolding, in order, exactly when I sit in the seat. But no. I have to go out and hunt for it, strangle it, remind the universe that I absolutely love it to the core and that this is just the sculpting. I love writing for what it gives me, but to be the type of writer that has to take something away from the process, it’s hard af. The authenticity, the questioning of what’s true and what’s necessary, it all will drive a stake right into my heart and make me question whether any of this has ever been worth it. And yet, every time I walk away, I’m a little more aware of myself. I’m a little more aware of the human condition, and I do feel it brings me closer to God more than most other things do. So in the end, it’s not a question about whether it’s worth it. The question is do I have what it takes to finish what I started? And the answer is yes, I have what it takes.
“I’m a big fan of editing and keeping only the interesting bits in.” -Sarah Vowell
I write, write, write, then slash, slash, slash. Then I do it over and over again. I don’t know if my writing process will ever change or speed up, but I think this method gets down to the bone. What’s interesting stays; the lifeless boring parts gotta go. If there are characters that fail to bring my story to life, they are removed and (at this point) with very little hesitation.
“The truth is you don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed.” -Eminem
This is both scary and relieving at the same time. I mean nobody really knows. We have this idea and our rituals, but really we just do those things to create a sense of control over uncertainty. Which is good. I love my routines that bring me a sense of order and control. But let’s be honest, tomorrow hasn’t come yet. Neither of us knows what we’re in for. I personally thrive on uncertainty.
Understand though, I’m not looking for a roller coaster lifestyle riddled with yolo. I have a deep love for boredom and doing the same thing every day of my life. That includes eating the same things everyday. (Yes, I’m one of those.) But I like to try new foods and pencil in mini adventures. I like to make time to travel and enjoy new spaces.
I think not knowing should scare us in a gentle way, to remind us to be more present, more patient, or more honest with ourselves and those we love. At the same time, I think it’s relieving because all our tomorrows are filled with endless possibilities. I think this is a fantastic and realistic way to look at life.
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