When A Woman Stands Up For Herself

“Each time a woman stands up for herself, she stands up for all women.” –Maya Angelou

I don’t think women should be pressured to stand up, but I do think that the women who do choose to stand up should recognize the liberation of their choice, no matter how big or small. I like to think that my choice will positively impact women of the future. I want them to have a world where they are supported and permitted to be exactly the women they were born to be. Not limited by job growth, not feeling unsafe in dark parking lots, not having to debate whether she should leave a job because her boss makes her uncomfortable; she can wear a dress, wear her natural hair, wear makeup, and whatever else makes her feel more confident and at home in herself.

Women Come Together

“Any time women come together with a collective intention, it’s a powerful thing. Whether it’s sitting down making a quilt, in a kitchen preparing a meal, in a club reading the same book, or around the table playing cards, or planning a birthday party, when women come together with a collective intention, magic happens.” -Phylicia Rashad

I love seeing this. I’m inspired by the way that women come together and keep us moving forward. I’ll tell you, a couple of years ago, I was (secretly) having a rough time adjusting to my job. This woman whom I adored for her ability to light up the room and her ability to accept everyone for who they are, came in with her much-loved house plant. And this was a mature plant. “I think of her as a mama plant,” she told me. Her gift immediately brought tears to my eyes. It lifted my spirit. And the fact that she trusted me with a plant she had nurtured for years made me feel so honored. I don’t know what moved her to bring the plant that day, but it turned my whole week around. I still have that mama plant. She’s thriving in my sunniest window.

Today’s Hike

“An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.” -Henry David Thoreau

I got to take my girls on a hike with my class, and we really enjoyed ourselves. It was nice to be outside, moving, and being active while learning about rock formations and seeing a waterfall. My girls paid attention and took in everything that they could while they were there. Hiking is fun but learning about science while you do it and way more fun!!

I’m so grateful for this year’s college experience.

The Dance

I’m getting frustrated about looking into femininity because it’s just a social construct. I just want to do what makes me feel at home in myself. There’s nothing to argue about here or prove when it comes to masculinity or femininity. There are days I allow my masculine traits to take the lead, to give my feminine self time to breathe. There’s a dance between the two, and I need both to reach my goals while maintaining a life filled with well-being and adventure. We all, men and women, should be able to seamlessly dance between the two. We should live in a world where these traits can be easily accessed when the situation calls for it. And we shouldn’t be shamed for doing things that improve our mental well-being.

We can learn to be comfortable with all these aspects of ourselves.

What are your thoughts on masculinity and femininity? Do you think it’s a social construct?

Trust Your Gut

 “Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.” –  E. L. Doctorow

Writing a novel is like this. Writing a poem is more like feeling your way through your house in the dark before your eyes have adjusted. Like you kind of know where everything is, but your distance may be off. That’s why you reach out your hands and feel your way through. Writing for me is making decisions and then feeling my way forward. If something feels like a dead end, I stop right there, delete, and retrace my steps toward the goal.

Either way, I’m using my gut and my experience. Generally, there are obvious signs to me as I write when the story begins to head in the wrong direction. A new writer might not understand those signs or trust their gut yet. And the same goes for me; there are obvious signs to a more advanced writer that I can’t yet see.

What I’m saying is that at this point in my writing life, I can feel things out and use my gut, but a good portion of it is applying my experience. Part of that experience is that I learned if I waste a lot of time forcing things to work, I overwrite; that means I’m going to have to delete a lot more of my work in the end. If I trust my gut from the start, I have a lot less to delete.

So keep writing. Don’t be afraid to scratch what’s not working to refine the story. Delete whatever you want, save whatever you want for later. You are an idea machine! Deleting a scene or a few paragraphs that feel off won’t destroy your progress.

But always know, rewriting is a huge part of the process. It’s better to get the initial story out than to waste too much time trying to avoid it.

To summarize, feel your way through, trust your gut, apply your experience, and don’t be afraid to rewrite. Most important point on the page: you are an idea machine!

The Feminine Feminist

The Feminine Feminist

There it is… That is the one.

I’ve been exploring femininity lately and it’s been fun! I love that I was reminded that self-care is a basic need, not some silly little feminine desire. It’s human. At the end of the day, I just want a world where women are supported and mentored and taught about the stock market and investment the same way men are. I want us to enjoy mimosas at brunch and discuss politics in a way that’s sustainable and collaborative. I want us to have retirement accounts and careers that allow us to support our families. I want all of those things while we do things the way we do things.

So I think that’s what I’m going to start setting goals for. I mean, I’ve got a lot of goals, but these should be on the plate too.

Sleepy Sunday

This was a sleepy Sunday for me.

“We must believe we are worthy of rest.” — Tricia Hersey, Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto.

I just happened across this quote about rest, and the more I read, the more interested I am in the whole idea of Rest as Resistance. Sleep is so vital. When you’re juggling a lot, it’s okay to rest. Her page thenapministry.com says

“Just as the North Star guided the enslaved on their journeys to freedom, visionary artist and founder of The Nap Ministry Tricia Hersey leads us to imagine a new world: one in which we subvert the narrative of productivity at all costs and embrace rest as a healing spiritual practice.”

Have you had a nap lately? Not one when you happen to fall asleep but an intentional midday nap.  

Full Moon Revelations

“One of the criticisms I’ve faced over the years is that I’m not aggressive enough or assertive enough, or maybe somehow, because I’m empathetic, it means I’m weak. I totally rebel against that. I refuse to believe that you cannot be both compassionate and strong.” -Jacinda Ardern

Home Sweet Home

I’ve been taking Organizational Psychology, and this is like the opposite of Abnormal Psych. I have been so inspired by this course. I’m taking it seriously because I want to be a good leader, and I want to lead with authenticity. I don’t want to lead with a pretend persona. So far, I’ve learned I’m the type to love my work, so I manage others with plenty of space. In other words, I don’t consistently stay on top of them to make sure they are working. I learned that I have a B+ personality type as opposed to Type A. I’m very close to Type A, though. That kind of surprised me. There’s so much more and it gives me new ways to communicate better with my team.

I love that while I’m learning my leading style, I’m reconnecting with my femininity! I can’t imagine a better duo. I want to lead like a woman. I want to take into account the things I need to thrive while in leadership. I also want to find women to lead with me so that I can share this type of leadership with other women too.

I’m loving this semester. So many little things are adding up.

Source

https://www.theceomagazine.com/business/management-leadership/leadership-quotes-by-women/

Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie on Femininity

“Feminism and femininity are not mutually exclusive. It is misogynistic to suggest that they are. Sadly, women have learned to be ashamed and apologetic about pursuits that are seen as traditionally female, such as fashion and makeup. But our society does not expect men to feel ashamed of pursuits considered generally male – sports cars, certain professional sports. In the same way, men’s grooming is never suspect in the way women’s grooming is – a well-dressed man does not worry that, because he is dressed well, certain assumptions might be made about his intelligence, his ability, or his seriousness. A woman, on the other hand, is always aware of how a bright lipstick or a carefully-put-together outfit might very well make others assume her to be frivolous.”
― Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions

I like when I find a writer who can put my thoughts in order and deliver them to me when I need them. Writers are magic.

The goal is to see femininity as openly supported and respected as masculinity.

Human

Being alive and reaching towards my goals feels good. I’m glad I can sit down and feel my way through femininity. I’m glad I can reach for the stars and still keep going after I fail. I’m glad the pressure is off when I succeed in one area and I get to find something else to inspire me in another. There are too many ways to enjoy the breath of life to punish myself for being too rigid or too soft, too nice or too quiet. I’m an entire human with a million tiny connections. Sometimes, it makes me think of sea anemones swaying on the sea floor. The point is that above all else, I’m human, and I’m grateful for the gift of life.

Phew, I barely got a chance to stop and breathe today. How was your day? And how’s your writing going?