Life as Art and Breaking Free

“Stand boldly at the cross roads and make an art of it.”

Your life is your art. Your reality is your escape.

You get to wake up and decide who it is you will serve, what it is you will serve. I often lean toward the things that set my soul on fire. I’ve been quite sleepy for while. A bit of a bore cooped up in the desire to get paid. I can’t serve that master. If there’s one thing I learned over these past two years it is that I was meant for something different.

And now, I’m feeling restless. I’m feeling ready to break some glass windows. I want to hear them shatter across the ground. But to be clear, they must be useless windows, not windows anyone would ever have to pay for. I want to feel the breeze while staring up at the full moon. I want to be chin deep in a hot tub and spill secrets between kisses. I was not designed for the rigid 9 to 5. That shit shriveled up my soul and hung it out dry. For me, 9 to 5’s are a slow erosion. So slow, in fact, that I barely noticed my soul went missing.

What do you love about being alive?

Life is Art

“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.” -Havelock Ellis

I’ve never been any good at letting people go. That’s one huge reason why I make sure I connect with people I truly want around forever. Because this girl just loves people forever. But I agree, learning what’s worth hanging on to and what’s worth letting go of is an art. I mean, yeah, there are basic things that are a no-brainer, but there are some murky waters where it’s not so easy to know. And oftentimes it has no ethical standing. It’s just a choice, not good or bad either way. The great news it that you get to stand boldly at the crossroads and make an art out of it. What a life you have to live.

What are willing to let go of? What are you hanging on to? Personally, I’m hanging onto this femininity vibe.

Empowered by Femininity

The moon is full and so is my heart.

Wow, I was absolutely not expecting this femininity journey to take root the way it did. And this full moon is bringing up so many beautiful thoughts and emotions for me to sift through and learn from.

I’m not quite ready to share all my thoughts and feelings, but I can share that not embracing my femininity felt like a sacrifice I had to make for my family, for the bills, for the long term, but none of that is true. In the past few weeks, I had a dance party complete with colorful lights with my girls, I have been painting my own nails (nothing crazy, just 1 shade of quick dry), been exercising, working on my skin care, and appreciating books and podcasts by women. I’m feeling so empowered. I’m digging into this journey, and I’m excited to see what femininity has in store for me next.

Did you see the moon?

Appreciation

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” -Theodore Hesburgh

Creating a home where a woman is free to become the best version of herself is one of the most important things you can show your children. This journey to my best self is solitary and very personal, but in order to move forward through this journey, I’ve had to rely on my husband to take on more than normal while I’m also in school. He’s really stepped up and made sure the girls have what they need. For that, I’m very grateful. My girls get to see that they will never be stuck, that they can change their careers, chase their dreams, and rest when their bodies call for it.

Basket Full of Us

On this journey, I’ve learned to love in ways I have always wished to be loved. It was much easier when I was young before all the betrayals and heartbreaks. But I’m happy to feel myself returning to a place where I can love whether I’m intimately close and from a distance. It has been one of the most liberating things on my journey. As women, we often feel that in order to love, we must also show it physically or materially. But the truth is our love from a distance is equally as powerful.

I love where you are in your becoming. I love where we are in our unfolding. I love that you can love me from there and I can love you from here. I appreciate that we are aware of each other’s growth, regardless of how subtle those shifts are. They may be hidden to those you share a table with, but here in this space, in this distance, I can feel you bloom.

What makes you feel loved?

Most Transforming Force

“The connections between and among women are the most feared, the most problematic, and the most potentially transforming force on the planet.” -Adrienne Rich

I didn’t know who Adrienne Rich was before this quote, but she’s on point with it. Adrienne Rich was called one of the most widely read and influential poets of the second half of the 20th century. One of her works, called “A Human Eye: Essays on Art in Society” (2009), even secured her place as one of America’s preeminent feminist thinkers.

I’ll leave you with the first stanza in her poem titled, Planetarium.

“A woman in the shape of a monster   
a monster in the shape of a woman   
the skies are full of them”

I’m sold! I look forward to reading more of her work.

You can find the poem here

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46568/planetarium-56d2267df376c

Seasons in the Workforce

“Without change there is no innovation, creativity, or incentive for improvement. Those who initiate change will have a better opportunity to manage the change that is inevitable.” -William Pollard

So I’ve been thinking about how I can run a workforce that supports the different seasons of the menstrual cycle. This is what’s coming to mind at first thought. It may need tweaking, and I think this works more for entrepreneurs, self-employed individuals, or people who schedule their own work week.

Winter (5 days) Low workload. Soft planning. Self-reflection: what’s working? What do you need? If possible, remote work or no work.

Spring (6 days) writing down plans, in-person work but minimal meetings.

Summer (8 days) starts bringing plans together, in-person meetings, networking, and connecting.

Fall (9 days) Wrap up connections and, if needed, set dates for next summer phase, and prepare to slow down for winter week of low workload/remote work/no work. Meal prep dense stews and soups.

The next challenge will be to make this more general so that this workforce can be applied on a larger scale.

I should be asking does your job support the different seasons? Is is capable of supporting them?

Four Seasons

“Getting to know your cycle better means getting to know yourself better. And there’s a great deal of power in that.” – Olivia Salter taken from Your Menstrual Cycle Seasons Explained

I’ve learned about the different phases of our cycle in health class, but I never learned about them being called seasons. I also didn’t learn how to eat for each phase. I was just told to eat lots of dark leafy greens and drink water, but isn’t that all the time? I’m going to create a meal plan and workout routine based around the different phases. Yesterday I mentioned the phases, which were referred to as Winter, Spring, Summer, and Fall. Today, I wanted to give a little more detail.

Winter – This is the start of your cycle.
Most articles suggest this is the time to skip plans, rest, and get plenty of complex carbs and lean proteins.

Spring – The follicular phase, once the winter phase is over, the inner spring phase begins!
It’s suggested that this is a great time to catch up with friends and make sure you eat foods such as beans, eggs, grass-fed meat, oily fish, and fermented foods like kimchi. These things help you better metabolize estrogen.

Summer – Everyone loves summer. This is the ovulation phase. This season sees oestrogen peaking as you ovulate, so you’ll be looking and feeling your best with glowing skin, high libido, and abounding confidence. I can’t think of anything better than that! To buffer against PMS symptoms, try to include more sources of fiber to remove excess oestrogen. Think of all things plant-related: fruits, veggies, legumes, pulses, nuts, seeds, and fresh herbs.

Fall – The luteal phase. During this phase, energy levels fall; it is common to feel sluggish or forgetful. Before hibernation, animals increase their food intake. And you should feel inspired to do the same. Choose healthy, nourishing, whole-food options to sustain your energy levels. Some other suggestions were Brazil nuts, shellfish, and broccoli for the chromium. Go for dark chocolate, pumpkin seeds, and quinoa for the magnesium.

Here’s some links where I found the information in case you’d like to explore with me!

https://www.naturesbest.co.uk/our-blog/understanding-the-seasons-of-your-menstrual-cycle/

https://www.ion.ac.uk/news/the-menstrual-cycle-a-seasonal-guide#:~:text=A%20menstrual%20cycle%20is%20a,is%20the%20pre%2Dmenstrual%20phase.

https://ovabalance.eu/en/blogs/artikelen/hormoon-cyclus-uitgelegd#:~:text=Winter%2C%20or%20menstruation%2C%20lasts%203,again%20and%20menstruation%20follows:%20winter.

Femininity, I Remember You

Femininity, I remember you.

Now that I’m learning more about my cycle, I’m realizing that everything should be more of a weekly rotation. It’s not about going hard in the am 3-5 times a week and resting on the weekend, like we’ve all been taught. While men have daily phases (morning, noon, and night), women have weekly phases that are referred to as seasons: winter, spring, summer, and fall. This is wild for me because what, there’s nothing wrong with us. We would thrive in a world that respects and honors our cycle. Just imagine being like:

“Man, it’s dead in the middle of winter season for me, professor, I cannot handle this workload right now.

And they say, “I totally understand. Let’s do some review so you get the practice, and we’ll work on the heavy mental lifting in a week or so.” Mind blown!

I feel kind of silly talking about this, but it’s crazy because I shouldn’t feel silly for desiring a world that honors women’s cycles.

This is a more complex machine than I realized. I mean, it may only feel complex because I never synced anything to my cycle. All these small details can feel overwhelming, so I’m going to take it one day at a time.

My goal with cycle syncing is to learn

  • What foods I should eat
  • What physical movement I should focus on
  • what type productivity is best

Each cycle has its own thing; for example, there’s one phase that’s best for networking and taking action. Another phase is more about gentle planning with no action, introspection, and rest. I’m loving this journey and where my path to embracing my femininity is taking me.