Options pushes and Pulls

It’s the same door

Isn’t it the same door

Let me look

Same handle

Ok different wood

But it’s practically identical

Why would I be called somewhere

So similar to the last one

I know we shouldn’t compare doors

But they’re like the same

Look, look at that different door over there

It’s like mine

The cracks are filled in with gold glitter

The handle warn

And there’s even a peep hole

So why would I go thru a door that’s just like the last?

-Saschia

He Is

He is something I want to myself

He is real and innocent

He reminds me of Christmas morning

The moment you unwrap the only toy you asked for

Or that burst of energy you’ve been waiting for since noon

He’s a tight squeeze on a rough day

And just the words you need to hear on good day

He is me

And I am him

A collection of all the things that brought us together

-Sasch

Second Guessing

I made this decision

To stick it out

To see how things go

And feel it out

We all make mistakes

Right

Right?!

Seventy x seven

Right?

My left side aches

My bones quiver

In anxiety in fear in excitement

I am brave

I am beautiful

I am enough

I am tired of being strong

But I made this decision

It’s my choice to stick it out

-Saschia

A Bag Full of Freedom

I wake up chug a cup of water in my reusable Starbuck’s cup

gotta make sure I have enough milk made for  the baby

sniff my pits and decide they smell fresh enough to skip a shower

I put on white leggings and look at my butt in the mirror only to notice

my panties show right through

So I pick a long short from my floral lined basket of folded shirts

I folded them when I was in the mood

I make myself sausage eggs and two pieces of french toast

this time for myself

not for the milk maker

I yell and scream about women’s rights then walk away

to fill another bottle of water

I pump for 20 minutes

put ointment on to prevent getting thrush

or from getting some infection I’d get from open wounds

and then gather Plath, Bukowski, Poe, Rimbaud, and [S.K.] Nicholas

into my bag

I grab my computer pretend to be happy

grab some pens and my keys and head out the door

I could take the Subie but I choose to take the Matrix

which is older and and smellier

so my husband who had the baby had a car seat

and I drive and I think about where I want to eat

and if I even want to eat again

 

-Saschia

 

Little purple person

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