I am Aphrodite, Farewell

The art flows free when I’m with Ares

We tripped over the skulls of our enemies

Sat on the piles of their riches stacked to the sky

And I know, I don’t need Ares, or revenge, or riches to make art

And I know he takes away my focus.

Aphrodite is

a healthier option

The wiser choice

But Aries was the adventure I had missed

The only kind that crawls right under my thick skin

He made me dance

Inside and out

He shut me down and lit me up

He’s not safe

not in the slightest

Our dark minds wielded blood splatter

And chaos

The only way I could justify us was art

We were so art

You should have seen us

-Saschia

Where Am I

I’ve reached a place in my life where I’m more full, more myself, and more humble than I’ve ever been. I feel so me. The self that loved with no expectations. The girl before her first heartbreak. It’s as if I’m getting a second chance at life and love and following my dreams. Life isn’t always so kind, so all I can do is hope it lasts and hope I can hang onto this as long as I can. Maybe life will be so kind, who knows? All I know, is I want to wake up, I want to sleep, and I get chills when I finally get to sit down and carve away at my craft. This is all so temporary, I had to write it down. I had leave proof. There is hope after allowing yourself to heal. There is life after an affair. Value isn’t lost because someone doesn’t appreciate it. And it’s ok to feel fuller and wiser and more yourself once you get through.

Yay me!

She’s a Pretty Mistress

She wasn’t ugly

Not by far

Actually, she had a pretty face

A face you’d see in the mall

Maybe the girl across from you

buying panties and a bra

You know

the one you smile at and politely

say excuse me to

She looks like she could be

your favorite cashier

Or someone who got straight A’s

in highschool

She and I

We both felt that powerless sting

We both sat and wondered

What it is we did

to be left

Was it the sex

Was it something we said

Both forgotten

After so much effort

And of course

We should have known

I mean, we knew

We knew he wouldn’t stick around

And someday another woman

would come

Maybe the new girl will have

the same basic name as hers

Because it’s highly unlikely

to be the same as mine

in spelling at the least

But still

the powerlessness

It feels like bondage

And no

she and I

we do not compare

Maybe in another world

In another place

In another time

My face is no basic face

And my body meticulously sculpted

by babies

Some dead some alive

And so while we are connected

she and I

By the same

Powerlessness a man has brought to us

We are not one in the same

And I hope and pray

That I never make the same mistake

She did

Of falling for a married man

And acting on it

-Saschia

On Writing

The first draft is just you telling yourself the story

― Terry Pratchett

What I’m struggling with is uncertainty on where my characters are going to go next. The experts say just write and what happens next will come to you. They also say write an outline or at least know your ending. I have a favored ending in mind which is confidence and self-acceptance for my characters. As I write toward my goal ending I would like to watch both characters bloom into something bigger and more beautiful than what they currently are.