Friday Night In

So I save Fridays for Statistics, and let me tell you, I sat down at this computer at 8 a.m., and I haven’t left yet. My eyes are burning, my head is spinning, and there is a huge possibility that I’ll be dreaming about these lessons. I have to do my work ahead so that I have time to actually digest the content and figure out where I need to ask questions. Also, I had to catch up, so think double the work. ::insert spinning brain here:: But on the plus side, I took a practice test, and I did pretty well on it. So all the studying is actually paying off. It doesn’t always feel like it in the moment.

How’s your Friday going?

Moving Forward

Stick to your dreams even when it gets hard.

I’m still catching up with my schoolwork, but I think I’ll be all caught up by Saturday evening. Phew, I hope I don’t get sick for the rest of the semester because catching back up feels so uncomfortable. I feel like I missed out on everything. I can’t seem to make sense of it all. Well, that’s how I feel. But once we get to the next chapters, I think I’ll feel better.

I think that’s how it feels a lot when you’re chasing your dreams. There are people who may have a bit more insight at one point, but it’s important to keep the faith and focus on forward momentum. At the same time, it’s also important to speak up and be honest when you’re struggling. That’s something I’m not always good at. But I’m willing to work on it!

How’s your forward momentum going?

Right Place Right Time

Positive thinking will let you do everything better than negative thinking will. -Zig Ziglar

I lean toward positive thinking, but I also have moments when I let negative thinking win. I like to use affirmations, and since I’ve been using them for so long, it’s a lot easier to apply them to real-life experiences. Saying them at night before bed is one thing; saying them to keep calm in a situation you can’t control is powerful. It’s a way to grab hold of your own situations and steer yourself toward better options.

The other thing to remember is that cortisol is dangerous, especially high levels of it for extended periods of time. Saying affirmations to keep those cortisol levels low can literally save your life.

Do you have a favorite affirmation? Lately, mine has been, “I’m at the right place, at the right time.”

Big Kid

“Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional!” – Walt Disney

Thank you, Walt Disney, for giving us permission to be big kids. There’s so much to do as adults: responsibilities, leadership, saving, and giving, and all the other stuff. Why not find the things that delight your inner child? You know, I was a sad girl for a long time, and there were very few things that lit my fire (writing mostly). Fast forward like six years later, and now I find joy in the smallest things: kind words, small gifts, the sunset, the first coffee of the day—just to mention a few.

Embrace Your Power

“The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.” -Alice Walker

This is such an interesting quote because it’s harder to embrace your power than it is to give it away. Well, for me at least. I’d rather give away my power than do it all myself. I have a few reasons: I’d rather share it. I’d rather there be peace. I’d rather be left alone in my own space to learn and write all day. It’s hard for me to make an argument against those things. Especially because I feel like having power is scary and lonely, and people leave. None of those are based on facts, but for me, they feel very real and very big.

So I face my fear of power in bite-sized pieces. Some days it’s focusing on how I can show up authentically at school; some days it’s about how I can take care of myself without shame (that was today for me), and on rare occasions, it’s showing up for myself in a big way. I want to live my life being courageous. I think this is a good way to do it.

Healthy Striving

“Healthy striving is self-focused: ‘How can I improve?’ Perfectionism is other-focused: ‘What will they think?” -Brené Brown

Healthy striving! I absolutely love that! I’m juggling a lot but even with a full plate, I still want to do well and show effort. I do want to improve at the same time, when I worry about what people think it tends to trump all else. It probably hinders me more than I realize. The work gets done, yes, but it should be getting done in a healthy way with the proper intention.

I’ll have to keep the quote around to help me stay mindful about the vibes that are motivating my efforts.

Braids

Today we started my braids, and I’m just so excited for them to be done! I have been so frustrated with my hair that I finally gave in and figured out how to do jumbo braids with some help from my mama. We haven’t finished yet, but they are looking pretty good so far. I’m very excited to have a hairstyle that I feel good about.

Rest and Relax

“Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest taken between two deep breaths.” — Etty Hillesum

Today was a meditation day for me. I got under my weighted blanket, turned out the lights, and chose a guided meditation. It had to be done for self-care or I won’t sleep tonight. The brain is so weird.

Do you ever think about how screen time can bring out our primitive nature? I wonder if over the years our offspring will finally lose the hunter-gatherer instincts that they don’t need anymore. Or more specifically, if they’d adapt to screens in a way that allows their bodies to avoid increased anxiety levels?

Well anyway, I looked at the screen way too long today.

Good Morning Sleepyhead

“True literature can exist only where it is created, not by diligent and trustworthy functionaries, but by madmen, hermits, heretics, dreamers, rebels, and skeptics.” – Yevgeny Zamyatin

Time to come out of hiding. There’s a story to be written. There are hearts that need a clang of discomfort and souls that need the warmth of comfort. It’s time to come out of hiding. We’re putting out fires and kindling spirits. The gifts you receive from crossing the threshold, from choosing writing as your greatest endeavor, can hardly be discussed with ease. It’s time to rise.

Math Anxiety

I cannot believe how much I love stats. Literally, I cried with tutors over math my entire life! But give me some stats problems to solve and I will not stop until I figure them out. I liked stats 10 years ago, and I still like it now. Wild. If I were to go back to my younger self and tell her that her thing is stats, psst let all the other math stuff go, she wouldn’t believe me! Not one bit. Math gives me anxiety. I have the worst math anxiety ever. It’s actually embarrassing.

So weird. I like weird though so it works.

What’s your relationship with math? Do you have an aspect of math that lights your fire?