Diary Of A Tamed Temper

She’s anxiety, rage, and shame all balled into a fireball of untamed magic

And when she pays me a visit

I reach and I twitch

And I grasp at my heart to try and save me

When she comes

I can do nothing but beg for the truth

And I know it’s somewhere close by

So I let it guide me

And I search and I listen

I take it all in

Truth’s lessons

truth’s hurts and truth’s gifts

Till it leads me

To where I’m supposed to be

Till I’m grounded once again

And that’s when

I feel the waters calm

I hear the rains subside

I slowly breathe in watching my chest rise

Ahh…. I breathe out

It’s calm

I breathe in

And I take time

To appreciate my calm because it feels good to be there once again

-Saschia

It’s Time

You are the embodiment

Of the Egyptian godesses

You hold light and life

In the base of your belly

Walk tall

Be proud of where you came from

You didn’t come from cupcakes

You came from pain

And heartache

So

It’s time to rise

It’s time to be exactly who you were meant to be all along

-Saschia

I am Aphrodite, Farewell

The art flows free when I’m with Ares

We tripped over the skulls of our enemies

Sat on the piles of their riches stacked to the sky

And I know, I don’t need Ares, or revenge, or riches to make art

And I know he takes away my focus.

Aphrodite is

a healthier option

The wiser choice

But Aries was the adventure I had missed

The only kind that crawls right under my thick skin

He made me dance

Inside and out

He shut me down and lit me up

He’s not safe

not in the slightest

Our dark minds wielded blood splatter

And chaos

The only way I could justify us was art

We were so art

You should have seen us

-Saschia

She’s a Pretty Mistress

She wasn’t ugly

Not by far

Actually, she had a pretty face

A face you’d see in the mall

Maybe the girl across from you

buying panties and a bra

You know

the one you smile at and politely

say excuse me to

She looks like she could be

your favorite cashier

Or someone who got straight A’s

in highschool

She and I

We both felt that powerless sting

We both sat and wondered

What it is we did

to be left

Was it the sex

Was it something we said

Both forgotten

After so much effort

And of course

We should have known

I mean, we knew

We knew he wouldn’t stick around

And someday another woman

would come

Maybe the new girl will have

the same basic name as hers

Because it’s highly unlikely

to be the same as mine

in spelling at the least

But still

the powerlessness

It feels like bondage

And no

she and I

we do not compare

Maybe in another world

In another place

In another time

My face is no basic face

And my body meticulously sculpted

by babies

Some dead some alive

And so while we are connected

she and I

By the same

Powerlessness a man has brought to us

We are not one in the same

And I hope and pray

That I never make the same mistake

She did

Of falling for a married man

And acting on it

-Saschia

The Good Fight

I’m tired

I continue to sacrifice sleep

And the tired is getting to me

Getting tired of being mature

Of being conscious

Of being awake

It’s tiring to focus on my own growth

To focus on the development of my character

Especially, when I’m just too tired

But we do it, right

We continue the trudge

The good fight

Because life without a fight

Is just dead and we aren’t dead

So fight

And keep fighting

-Saschia

The Dance

The walls dance around me

The floors present and safe

Until there’s a gap

Between the floor and my feet

The tea is ready

the carpets are slapped clean

Let me see

Let me see

Ah, the walls waltz a waltz I know

Shall we dance

The walls shift and play

And I scream with delight

And laugh when I’m pulled in too close

When the music fades

I just know I’ll remember how much I’ve always loved to dance

-Saschia

Emotionally Absent

It’s like

Shouting into the wind

I shared and I shared

And I yelled and I screamed

Not even an echo returned

Just breath

Not even silence

And I noticed the other day

How you gave me a hint

Just a tiny peak inside your mind

All for a fuck

You knew my weakness

I’m learning though.

I see now

how you’ve made it so far

Without being present

-Sasch