A place where you can be human.
“An early-morning walk is a blessing for the whole day.” -Henry David Thoreau
I got to take my girls on a hike with my class, and we really enjoyed ourselves. It was nice to be outside, moving, and being active while learning about rock formations and seeing a waterfall. My girls paid attention and took in everything that they could while they were there. Hiking is fun but learning about science while you do it and way more fun!!
I’m so grateful for this year’s college experience.
I’m getting frustrated about looking into femininity because it’s just a social construct. I just want to do what makes me feel at home in myself. There’s nothing to argue about here or prove when it comes to masculinity or femininity. There are days I allow my masculine traits to take the lead, to give my feminine self time to breathe. There’s a dance between the two, and I need both to reach my goals while maintaining a life filled with well-being and adventure. We all, men and women, should be able to seamlessly dance between the two. We should live in a world where these traits can be easily accessed when the situation calls for it. And we shouldn’t be shamed for doing things that improve our mental well-being.
We can learn to be comfortable with all these aspects of ourselves.
What are your thoughts on masculinity and femininity? Do you think it’s a social construct?
“Writing a novel is like driving a car at night. You can only see as far as your headlights, but you can make the whole trip that way.” – E. L. Doctorow
Writing a novel is like this. Writing a poem is more like feeling your way through your house in the dark before your eyes have adjusted. Like you kind of know where everything is, but your distance may be off. That’s why you reach out your hands and feel your way through. Writing for me is making decisions and then feeling my way forward. If something feels like a dead end, I stop right there, delete, and retrace my steps toward the goal.
Either way, I’m using my gut and my experience. Generally, there are obvious signs to me as I write when the story begins to head in the wrong direction. A new writer might not understand those signs or trust their gut yet. And the same goes for me; there are obvious signs to a more advanced writer that I can’t yet see.
What I’m saying is that at this point in my writing life, I can feel things out and use my gut, but a good portion of it is applying my experience. Part of that experience is that I learned if I waste a lot of time forcing things to work, I overwrite; that means I’m going to have to delete a lot more of my work in the end. If I trust my gut from the start, I have a lot less to delete.
So keep writing. Don’t be afraid to scratch what’s not working to refine the story. Delete whatever you want, save whatever you want for later. You are an idea machine! Deleting a scene or a few paragraphs that feel off won’t destroy your progress.
But always know, rewriting is a huge part of the process. It’s better to get the initial story out than to waste too much time trying to avoid it.
To summarize, feel your way through, trust your gut, apply your experience, and don’t be afraid to rewrite. Most important point on the page: you are an idea machine!
The Feminine Feminist
There it is… That is the one.
I’ve been exploring femininity lately and it’s been fun! I love that I was reminded that self-care is a basic need, not some silly little feminine desire. It’s human. At the end of the day, I just want a world where women are supported and mentored and taught about the stock market and investment the same way men are. I want us to enjoy mimosas at brunch and discuss politics in a way that’s sustainable and collaborative. I want us to have retirement accounts and careers that allow us to support our families. I want all of those things while we do things the way we do things.
So I think that’s what I’m going to start setting goals for. I mean, I’ve got a lot of goals, but these should be on the plate too.
This was a sleepy Sunday for me.
“We must believe we are worthy of rest.” — Tricia Hersey, Rest Is Resistance: A Manifesto.
I just happened across this quote about rest, and the more I read, the more interested I am in the whole idea of Rest as Resistance. Sleep is so vital. When you’re juggling a lot, it’s okay to rest. Her page thenapministry.com says
“Just as the North Star guided the enslaved on their journeys to freedom, visionary artist and founder of The Nap Ministry Tricia Hersey leads us to imagine a new world: one in which we subvert the narrative of productivity at all costs and embrace rest as a healing spiritual practice.”
Have you had a nap lately? Not one when you happen to fall asleep but an intentional midday nap.
“One of the criticisms I’ve faced over the years is that I’m not aggressive enough or assertive enough, or maybe somehow, because I’m empathetic, it means I’m weak. I totally rebel against that. I refuse to believe that you cannot be both compassionate and strong.” -Jacinda Ardern
Home Sweet Home
I’ve been taking Organizational Psychology, and this is like the opposite of Abnormal Psych. I have been so inspired by this course. I’m taking it seriously because I want to be a good leader, and I want to lead with authenticity. I don’t want to lead with a pretend persona. So far, I’ve learned I’m the type to love my work, so I manage others with plenty of space. In other words, I don’t consistently stay on top of them to make sure they are working. I learned that I have a B+ personality type as opposed to Type A. I’m very close to Type A, though. That kind of surprised me. There’s so much more and it gives me new ways to communicate better with my team.
I love that while I’m learning my leading style, I’m reconnecting with my femininity! I can’t imagine a better duo. I want to lead like a woman. I want to take into account the things I need to thrive while in leadership. I also want to find women to lead with me so that I can share this type of leadership with other women too.
I’m loving this semester. So many little things are adding up.
Source
https://www.theceomagazine.com/business/management-leadership/leadership-quotes-by-women/
“Feminism and femininity are not mutually exclusive. It is misogynistic to suggest that they are. Sadly, women have learned to be ashamed and apologetic about pursuits that are seen as traditionally female, such as fashion and makeup. But our society does not expect men to feel ashamed of pursuits considered generally male – sports cars, certain professional sports. In the same way, men’s grooming is never suspect in the way women’s grooming is – a well-dressed man does not worry that, because he is dressed well, certain assumptions might be made about his intelligence, his ability, or his seriousness. A woman, on the other hand, is always aware of how a bright lipstick or a carefully-put-together outfit might very well make others assume her to be frivolous.”
― Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie, Dear Ijeawele, or A Feminist Manifesto in Fifteen Suggestions
I like when I find a writer who can put my thoughts in order and deliver them to me when I need them. Writers are magic.
The goal is to see femininity as openly supported and respected as masculinity.
Being alive and reaching towards my goals feels good. I’m glad I can sit down and feel my way through femininity. I’m glad I can reach for the stars and still keep going after I fail. I’m glad the pressure is off when I succeed in one area and I get to find something else to inspire me in another. There are too many ways to enjoy the breath of life to punish myself for being too rigid or too soft, too nice or too quiet. I’m an entire human with a million tiny connections. Sometimes, it makes me think of sea anemones swaying on the sea floor. The point is that above all else, I’m human, and I’m grateful for the gift of life.
Phew, I barely got a chance to stop and breathe today. How was your day? And how’s your writing going?
Today, I want to start with an affirmation.
You are worthy of your desires.
I’d like to share some of my own desires. I have a deep desire to see a world where femininity is as valued and prioritized as much as masculinity. This desire is one of my biggest inspirations. But what’s strange is that for so long, I have been taught to abstain from my desires. The word desire is a taboo word in the church where I was raised. Don’t get me wrong, taking care of the community was never frowned upon, but it felt like my own personal desires like this one, were not welcomed.
Over the past couple of days, these writings have given me the inspiration to lead with femininity. I want to lead with my desire to build a workforce that is driven by the work we do while still being able to thrive with our families; even today! Those are completely healthy desires, and for some reason, I’ve been and often still get told not to be led by my desires. I desire to have my family’s basic needs met. I desire to find fun and exciting ways to be active and fit. I desire more education. I desire healthy meals in a safe home. Are these desires wrong? Of course not. Is working to gain these desires is wrong? Of course not. These are perfectly healthy goals that I can strive towards. So when you read the affirmation that says,
“I am worthy of my desires.”
That means you. That means you are worthy of the work you’re willing to do. That means you’re worthy of the rest that will get you there. We have desires worth pursuing. And when we start pursuing them, it’s not easy, but it’s getting us one step closer to a world where femininity is prioritized alongside masculinity.
What are your desires?
Self-care is a huge part of femininity, but I personally think it’s just a huge part of being human. Men are supposed to take care of themselves too, and I bet if they did, they’d live a lot longer.
Basic needs and self care is
When I say self care this is what I think of. These are the basic things we need to maintain to thrive as humans beings. Once we get past that and then give femininity another thought, what do we get?
The first thing I think of is resilience. Even though we’re tired, look at us we can’t help it, we just keep finding ways to thrive,
to break free
to liberate ourselves those we love!
We are made for this.
The second thing that comes to mind is strength. This one is easy. Women are known to have high pain tolerance, enough said.
Femininity is something we get to be proud of. It’s something we get to come home to. It’s something we get to be reminded of at any moment of the day, at any time that we need it. We are worthy of our dreams and we have done the work to see our visions. This is our life to live and we get the privilege to keep on living it. I hope you choose to thrive in your femininity today.
What comes to mind when you think of Femininity?
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