My Last Love Letter

There you were

Beneath my naked body

stripped bare

To the bone

To the soul

And still you stood

Unwavering next to my shattered bones

Next to my full and emptied womb

You accepted my child so much so

you cried to let her go

You taught her to tie her shoes

and taught me I’m someone worth being worried for

Then there’s your real laugh

The rare one that shows up when you’re caught off gaurd with a funny

Your firm squeeze against my thighs

Are both memories I’ll send to the heavens with hopes they’ll return when I’m ready to smile about you again

Not a bullet in the world could have taken you from me, if I could’ve stopped it

Not a job

Not a bad habit

Or a stinky sock

You were my reason

You were

why my heart beat

and why it flowed

And why it will continue to beat this way

until I stop breathing

-Saschia

Cravings

I’m just here for the chocolate

and you

I do enjoy a good truffle

Or a gummy bear with the perfect texture

But you

I’ve never tasted anything like you

I’ve had gummies and chocolates

Chocolate covered gummies

Nothing like you though

Then there’s the whole thing where

Too much candy gives me a belly ache

Too much of you though?

Well, you make me feel alive

I think I might even be healthier

When I’ve had my bit of you

It’s never enough

Neither things

I always want more candy

And I always want more you

-Saschia

Stop Saying the L Word

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

I enjoy a good romance or a good cry from the loss of a character I’ve come to feel close to. I like delaying or sacrificing my own current desires for my daughters. I like spending time with those I feel most connected to. These are all descriptions of love. But I’d really like to see us start getting more creative by using descriptions of how you show appreciation to those closest to you.

When I started using other words besides the word love, it opened a ton of different ways I could develop a healthy relationship with myself. “Yes, Self, I love you” just became redundant and didn’t really help me step into a place of action. Now, when I’m doing something for myself I define the action. “I’m going to allow myself to step away to write because it helps me unload my thoughts which gives me the energy to focus on the needs of my daughters and my mother.”

Love is a beautiful word and I don’t want to wipe it from our language, but maybe we have allowed it to become too general. We’ve allowed it to become this elusive thing that is selective to only those with the ability to feel, but that’s not true. So let’s stop using love as a magical word, and instead try out using different words or phrases that show how you are stepping into action for those closest to you.

Here’s a list of different action words that we can use instead of love.

You are fully…..Read more

Purpose?

The time has come to discuss purpose

Do we all have one when we’re born?

Do we create one?

“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.” ―Fyodor Dostoyevsky

I am going to say the first thing we should do in life is figure out who we are and with that comes our purpose.

Finding purpose is just coming to accept who you are.

And that is when you find the thing that worth living for.

.Read More

A Whole Woman

She is a combination of everything she’s always wanted to be. She left limits for roadways and labels for truffles. She embodies a collection of all the mothers who raised her and all the fathers who tried their best. She’s a voice in the wilderness and a high tide. The storm is nestled in her spine and spring between her thighs. You have got to have spirit in order to speak all of her languages or else you’ll drown.

A Woman

Take away the dishes

The wife-ing

The mothering

And you’re left with

A writer

An artist

!A REVOLUTIONARY

Who dreams of sowing thought

respect

And empathy back into our existence

She grasps for words

And stories

She grasps for experiences

She fails

She falls she rises

Over and over again

She is a woman

She is an entire future stitched together with all the labels she’s out grown

-Saschia

Your Wife III

She pokes and prods

Yells and screams

She wants sex

She wants to feel sexy

And dinner out

And he worked

he worked his ass off

But she wants wants wants

And the kids are hungry

And work is calling while they sit at the dinner table

Chicken and salad…. again

He’s glad he got fast food

But now she’s hurt and mad and sad

And needs attention

But he’s tired and she understands

So she cries in the bedroom with the baby

because she knows she’s too much

She wants to be more

To cook better

To look better with her hair and nails done

She nods off

baby on lap

Daughter in bed

Mom in chair

Dad somewhere she hopes is comfortable enough for him to get rest

So maybe just maybe tomorrow

he’ll finally have the energy to put up with her

Maybe he’ll even bring flowers

-Saschia