Jayne.press

We are all in this together. Every single one of us is battling covid, and shut downs and the mass shootings in our own home towns and even more broadcasted on television. It really bothers me but even more so right now, when one human being can belittle another while we are all clearly struggling right now. It’s extremely hard for me not to react.

Where is your grace?

It’s been proven time and time again that humans who are consistently under great amounts of stress are less likely to make the sound choices -the same sound choices they make when they are not burdened. We’ve learned that fear based programming doesn’t teach the individual in an internal manner but more of a programmed manor. Which means they are not acting out of consciousness, they are acting out of fear. We’ve also learned that those in poverty are at higher risk to a multitude of negative circumstances.

Why? Why are those in poverty considered at risk?

Now some people who grew up in poverty, and made their way out, might look down on their peers and wonder, why are they stuck there? I know because I was one of those people. When I got to college, I began to ask myself what was it that propelled me forward. What made me different from those who were willing stay put in that paycheck to paycheck (or less) lifestyle. At the surface there was a quick and easy answer. I was ambitious and so it would be my duty to make them more ambitious so they can be liberated.

But I quickly realized, ambition wasn’t the problem. Being liberated from poverty was never the problem. They did everything they were supposed to be doing as parents and workers and humans who wanted to taste all that life as they knew it, had to offer.

What was I missing then? Why weren’t they liberated and living life to the fullest and making better choices, healthy choices, spiritual choices?

Oppression.

Oppression is a subtle but eroding problem that wore our grand parents and great grandparents down and then they passed it down to our parents. They passed down their lumpy carpets, hushed voices, and respect for the elders who raped them. They passed down their solving emotional problems with a good meal and a drunk night out with friends. They passed down their hunched backs and overworked minds for one more paycheck to keep buying shit the don’t want, use, or need.

We are not taking any of those things. We don’t them and we’re changing our ways so that we can get rid of them. And you know what, we’re working our asses off to not pass down these generational behaviors.

And so when I hear someone trash talk our oppressed communities, I want to scream. I want to bring them through the hell we’ve gone through and our parents went through and our great grandparents. And I want to sit them down and drag them through all the subtle forms of oppression we’ve endured.

But then I realize, that the toxic words, the belittling of the oppressed is exactly what comes from the mouths of oppressed individuals. And they probably have already endured hell. And my best option isn’t to do to them what was done to us. My best option is to focus on my vision, freedom from oppression. Oppressing them is not going to free them from themselves.

How many times will it take to get this writing thing right? How do you really know when it’s right? When someone markets it well enough? I don’t write to finish. I write for the growth but sometimes it feels like none of my writing is painting a decent picture. It doesn’t stop me but it does slow me down. It does put a damper on my performance. But so does being sick and momming and grieving.

There’s so many levels to writing. There’s writing to be heard, there writing to hear yourself and there’s writing to share a story. Goodness the list goes on.

Right now, I’m just writing to remember better days and to have better days and to remembers the days I’ve learned from. Not for perfection. or improvement.

In the end we’re all going to die. We may be able to prolong it, but we can not avoid the fruition of our story. There’s so much that we can do to give ourselves a better life. However, what makes life more livable is debatable. I prefer writing in solitude and someone else may desire an epic outing whether there’s pain or not.

However, if there is a way to ease human suffering, it is to ensure the safety and security if every human from the day they are born. Now, the safety of these children can’t trump the safety of the parents either. Both must be safe and secure to ease human suffering. If there isn’t safety for the parents, there isn’t safety for the child. And if there isn’t safety for the child, they will have increased human suffering in the long run. Not that they will be less worthy, it’s that navigating life and connecting with other humans in a meaningful way will be harder for that child grasp. (If they survive the unsafe situation that is.)

The complexity arises when we get into how to ensure the safety of every individual without infringing on their privacy and their own cultural beliefs.

With all that taken into consideration, when we deal with those around us, it should be in our best interest to understand ourselves so we can better understand them. We haven’t reached a point in our society where safety and security are available to everyone. Learn to be understanding and respectful. And if you lose yourself and have a shit day, forgive yourself, ask for forgiveness from those you hurt, and try again tomorrow.

The sky was misty and as a bonus it snowed on Christmas Eve. I got My favorite weather, bundled into one of my favorite holidays in less than 24 hours. It’s easy to talk about the weather since we all have to deal with it.

What concerns me about the warmer weather is the ticks. If we have another warm year, the ticks are going to get even worse. More people including myself have gotten Lyme disease, and not everyone gets the bulls eye. Untreated Lyme can have devastating affects on the mind, body, and spirit. It rocked my system, the bullseye was painful and the drop in energy level was just depressing.

Other than those thoughts, the weather was wonderful.

I spent the day resting with my family and it made me realize I much I’ve been doing lately. It’s wild how work snowballs once you’re moving and meeting and zooming around town. It starts out with just a couple things, or a couple errands here and there, then a few weeks later you’ve driven to 5 towns in one day without the blink of an eye. Just throw a toddler in the mix -and bam, it’s an avalanche from there. It was so so nice to rest.

Another nice thing was having my oldest home from school for the holidays. She really completes our home dynamic. She loves her little sister and we adore her, so when she’s home for a holiday, we usually watch movies as a family and play some sort of game.

Work/life balance is nice because it breaks it all up. Makes things easier to appreciate that are normally overlooked. I wonder a lot whether I’m spending enough time with all of my loved ones. I’ve learned though that when I mind myself first, time with my loved ones is more fulfilling. I think the works with everything. As long as I respect my own time and space my work/life balance will be more fulfilling.

Merry Christmas from Jayne.Press