Sunday Reflections

I don’t spend a lot time down the internet rabbit hole as much these days. My days fly by especially with my to do lists these days but for the sake of July 4th I did my usual Church and cleaning. Then made cupcakes with my youngest. Once I finished washing the last load of reusable diapers, I went down the conspiracy rabbit hole on tiktok.

Lots Mandela ones, shifty shadows, and true crime stuff. But what intrigued me most was a story about a women named Erin Valenti who went to a convention and her last call home was about how this is all mind games and we’re in a matrix. Then I saw about the google employee telling the world that AI has feelings. Then I watched Stranger Things with the family.

I’d give this Sunday a 8/10

I always appreciate how the real world is stranger than fiction.

Your Voice Matters

Choosing with integrity means finding ways to speak up that honor your reality, the reality of others, and your willingness to meet in the center of that large field. It’s hard sometimes.

– Terry Tempest Williams

I looked into some of Terry Tempest’s books. They look interesting but I haven’t read any yet. This quote does make me want to read what she has to say though.

I appreciate integrity and I appreciate how she suggests that honoring other’s reality is integrity. I find this statement closely related to mindfulness. It’s no easy thing for me to be mindful. I’m either no mindful that I’m silent or so loud, I forget to be mindful.

When you reach a place in your speech where you can honor your own reality and your neighbors, I find that to be a noble and noteworthy accomplishment.

Women, Stay

On supporting women

I’m still learning to support myself as a woman. Which means as a woman I’m still learning to support women around me.

We are the result of women who fought for us. This is a world where we can vote and they couldn’t. We are in a world where women’s innate abilities aren’t burned at the stake. We aren’t in a world where our lack of “abilities” force us into the mental hospital. So there is nothing but uncertainty for our generation of women.

We are still learning to trust our own thoughts and feelings. We are learning to respect all the simple and complex parts of ourselves society deems unworthy. And we’re going to keep learning and unfolding as time goes on.

Stay encouraged. Stay rising. Most importantly, stay learning yourself.

Creative Freedom

In detachment lies the wisdom of uncertainty.

..in the wisdom of uncertainty lies the freedom from our past, from the known, which is the prison of past conditioning. And in our willingness to step into the unknown, the field of all possibilities, we surrender ourselves to the creative mind that orchestrates the dance of the universe.

— Deepak Chopra

I Came To Thrive and Prosper

A world where women are safe and free.

Where they have freedoms that include “Freedom of speech · Freedom of worship · Freedom from want · Freedom from fear.” 

Where they can set goals and reach for their aspirations authentically and still have enough to care for herself at the end of the week.

Where they choose motherhood or not.

Where they seek and find and seek and find

until they find peace and rest

The Mantra that Worked Today

So I am getting ready for an event tomorrow. We were picking up a few food items and I got a little anxious in the snack aisle because that’s how I get when I’m trying to pick out snacks for other humans. Finally, I gave up and called my husband who guided me. At this moment, I’m relieved to have everything we needed. And then it was time to pay. No worries, we have enough. I give my daughter my wallet and go to take a moment to myself. When I get back, she says the card wasn’t in there. My head spins. I have no idea where my card is. I’m on the edge of tears. Can’t think straight. I’m so lost, I call the grocery store in Mass where we last used the card. Half way home, I take a deep breath and say, “Everything is going to be ok.” And I looked over to my mom and convinced her. She didn’t need the convincing, I needed it. Saying those words a few times outloud and to myself helped me become calm enough to remember exactly where I left it.

Moral of the story, use your mantras not for luck or some ritualistic reason. Use them to calm yourself enough to think things through with a clear head.

Heart Song

I admire her persistence

and oh, how her howling soothes

like the thumping inside my womb

those vibrating drums birthed from her mouth

I admire her persistence

how these beats stretch across her howl

The night twinkles

bare, bare, bare, with dull blood

Dance in her womb, crawl on your knees, eyes shut

A mighty hand guides you to the unknown

-Saschia Johnson