I will stand on the shoulders of my enemies

To place the angel delicately a top my Christmas tree

Their selfish acts beside mine

Only my acts so deeply rooted by my own ancestors

That they have become a catapult

An explosion of sticky wet truth

Like an orgasm at just the right time

I will not wallow I will not beg

I will not stop until the truth spores inside so many crevices

They’ll never forget it

-Saschia

Thought and Planned

Finally in love with me. From inside the depths of my soul to my roots of curls. I’ve waited so long to feel so healthy, so healed, and so ready to take on life. I thought and planned that by the time I got here I’d be celebrating with you. Maybe you weren’t meant to be part of this celebration. Maybe all the times you made me feel like shit for healing brought us to this.

Aw well, let the celebrating commence!!!

Loyalty, where does it live and die?

I just want to throw this out there. I talk a lot of shit. I act like I’m rebellious and a rockstar, but it’s all a show. I f’n adore community and meeting people and learning people and supporting people. So yes, I like to go out. I like to dress sexy and feel pretty.

I like getting told I’m beautiful.

But at the end of the day, my family is my priority.

I love being home, hanging out, eating dinner together, and talking about our day. I love growing and building together. There was never a time that I wasn’t loyal to my home. There was only a time I put my home before individuals who weren’t ready to grow with me.

Everyone’s priorities are different when it comes to where their loyalty lives and dies. I am first loyal to my spiritual growth, then to my family, then my writing, then everything moves and jumbles around below those.

At times there are gray areas. When I reach those places, I make sure to communicate with my loved ones that I’m in an unknown area. I do my best to show full respect and honesty to my household during those times. It’s much harder to communicate when it’s an internal writing thing, but I try.

Where I struggle with loyalty is when to stop being loyal. Once I fully commit to someone or something, I take my loyalty to grave. So, I tend to stay loyal to people and places who no longer serve me. And that’s a problem. That’s not setting boundaries.

So todays writing will be inspired by my inner conflict with loyalty.

The Good Fight

My heart beats stronger with threat

It brings the life out of me

The rage redirected to art

To rebuilding myself

I will not be a machine

tears and snot drip down my face

I will not stop I will only grow larger and larger

And my dreams will be closer and closer

With an aching heart, I will rise

And I won’t stop

I will never stop

♡Saschia

Returned Energy

I finally feel the energy I’ve craved

I feel this tingle in my toes

Ready to go go go

I want to reach goals

I want to give hope

I feel my strength returning

It gives me the courage to lose

To fail

I’ve burned my backpack full of grief

And pushed life out of me

I am alive

I am free

I am healthy

I am determined to finish building the life I dreamed of.

♡Saschia

This Is My Calling

Begging for a break

A place to get away from all this

But I’m going to show my face

I’m going to show my insides

The treasures inside aren’t worth hiding

The flesh outside isn’t worth flaunting

I’m going to wait on the heavens

I’m going to pursue my calling

With the fire in my soul that hasn’t been extinguished

♡Saschia

Is It?

What did you sign up for?

Did you get it?

Did you get the thing you signed up for?

Does anyone get the thing they sign up for?

 

We see

We watch on in excitement

waiting for our turn

waiting to have a place

a wife a husband

waiting for the acceptance letter

the membership

the friendship

is it better than you dreamed?

is it anything you could have ever imagined?

Is it what you signed up for?

 

❤ Saschia

 

A Writer’s Wish