So Now, Accept Yourself

You are tough

You weren’t born that way

You came out soft and squishy

And full of fantasies

And you tasted just like sugar

Like melted sugar

And rainbows shot from your eyes in the middle of a hurricane

Then it started

the dying

You realized people did very bad things

That people died for no reason

You realized you were someone to be understood only by a few

And you tried for years to understand why

And tried for years to tell yourself you’d be ok

We’d all be ok and you’d make sure of it

You hid in your silence

In your fear of connecting the wrong things once again

You hid in your stereotypes

Black violence with White credit score

Then the armor came

It collected over the years

You watched and saw how others made it through

You ate

And skipped meals

You slept to help skip them

You skipped em to feed your baby

You skipped em to find love

Then you clung to the illusion that someday you might be good enough

But you, my beautiful tattered soul,

have always been good enough

Since the day rainbows shot out of your big brown eyes

And even the day they started going dim you were still brighter than the north star

You have survived things and never stopped rebuilding

You tear down your walls over and over

And when you rebuild

You don’t rebuild selfishly

You rebuild for every single person who needs to be rebuilt too

Your ability to see the good in monsters is something people will never understand

Stay apart from those who don’t understand you ability to accept

But keep accepting

That is what you were born with and that is what you will die with

And that is your only purpose on this earth

So now accept yourself

-Saschia

A Woman

Take away the dishes

The wife-ing

The mothering

And you’re left with

A writer

An artist

!A REVOLUTIONARY

Who dreams of sowing thought

respect

And empathy back into our existence

She grasps for words

And stories

She grasps for experiences

She fails

She falls she rises

Over and over again

She is a woman

She is an entire future stitched together with all the labels she’s out grown

-Saschia

Your Wife II

His waves crash

Like an ancient melody

They play my song

They pull me in

I dive and dive

Only to be denied

I sit I cry

I beg and plead

Open up to me

I’m left drenched with a

Mouth full of sea foam

Drowning in an eerie silence

I’ve become a pirate

Forever in love with circling

His seas

-Saschia

Before and After

I see my reckless behavior

I see me dive headfirst into bullshit

To forget

But this writing thing

It keeps me grounded

Keeps me feeling it

I liked it before how I could drink

And smash shit

Smile and keep it movin

But I was so faded

My soul started screaming

So I uncaged it

And now I just make myself feel

Everything

Cuz that makes my soul vibrate and shit

-Saschia

Diary Of A Tamed Temper

She’s anxiety, rage, and shame all balled into a fireball of untamed magic

And when she pays me a visit

I reach and I twitch

And I grasp at my heart to try and save me

When she comes

I can do nothing but beg for the truth

And I know it’s somewhere close by

So I let it guide me

And I search and I listen

I take it all in

Truth’s lessons

truth’s hurts and truth’s gifts

Till it leads me

To where I’m supposed to be

Till I’m grounded once again

And that’s when

I feel the waters calm

I hear the rains subside

I slowly breathe in watching my chest rise

Ahh…. I breathe out

It’s calm

I breathe in

And I take time

To appreciate my calm because it feels good to be there once again

-Saschia