My Last Love Letter

There you were

Beneath my naked body

stripped bare

To the bone

To the soul

And still you stood

Unwavering next to my shattered bones

Next to my full and emptied womb

You accepted my child so much so

you cried to let her go

You taught her to tie her shoes

and taught me I’m someone worth being worried for

Then there’s your real laugh

The rare one that shows up when you’re caught off gaurd with a funny

Your firm squeeze against my thighs

Are both memories I’ll send to the heavens with hopes they’ll return when I’m ready to smile about you again

Not a bullet in the world could have taken you from me, if I could’ve stopped it

Not a job

Not a bad habit

Or a stinky sock

You were my reason

You were

why my heart beat

and why it flowed

And why it will continue to beat this way

until I stop breathing

-Saschia

Stop Saying the L Word

Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

I enjoy a good romance or a good cry from the loss of a character I’ve come to feel close to. I like delaying or sacrificing my own current desires for my daughters. I like spending time with those I feel most connected to. These are all descriptions of love. But I’d really like to see us start getting more creative by using descriptions of how you show appreciation to those closest to you.

When I started using other words besides the word love, it opened a ton of different ways I could develop a healthy relationship with myself. “Yes, Self, I love you” just became redundant and didn’t really help me step into a place of action. Now, when I’m doing something for myself I define the action. “I’m going to allow myself to step away to write because it helps me unload my thoughts which gives me the energy to focus on the needs of my daughters and my mother.”

Love is a beautiful word and I don’t want to wipe it from our language, but maybe we have allowed it to become too general. We’ve allowed it to become this elusive thing that is selective to only those with the ability to feel, but that’s not true. So let’s stop using love as a magical word, and instead try out using different words or phrases that show how you are stepping into action for those closest to you.

Here’s a list of different action words that we can use instead of love.

You are fully…..Read more

Your Wife III

She pokes and prods

Yells and screams

She wants sex

She wants to feel sexy

And dinner out

And he worked

he worked his ass off

But she wants wants wants

And the kids are hungry

And work is calling while they sit at the dinner table

Chicken and salad…. again

He’s glad he got fast food

But now she’s hurt and mad and sad

And needs attention

But he’s tired and she understands

So she cries in the bedroom with the baby

because she knows she’s too much

She wants to be more

To cook better

To look better with her hair and nails done

She nods off

baby on lap

Daughter in bed

Mom in chair

Dad somewhere she hopes is comfortable enough for him to get rest

So maybe just maybe tomorrow

he’ll finally have the energy to put up with her

Maybe he’ll even bring flowers

-Saschia

Your Wife II

His waves crash

Like an ancient melody

They play my song

They pull me in

I dive and dive

Only to be denied

I sit I cry

I beg and plead

Open up to me

I’m left drenched with a

Mouth full of sea foam

Drowning in an eerie silence

I’ve become a pirate

Forever in love with circling

His seas

-Saschia