I chain myself to things I love most
And free myself from anything else
Sometimes the chains weigh me down
But what is pure love without the weight of chains
And the freeing it aches real bad
Because even though I don’t let those things chain me
The desire for them will always be there.
The caving in
I don’t expect anyone to understand this
You’ll make it
I promise you
We’ll light the way together
I’ll light the way for you
Don’t waste your time
Doubting whether this is right
Changing bad habits
Never feels right
I will stand on the shoulders of my enemies
To place the angel delicately a top my Christmas tree
Their selfish acts beside mine
Only my acts so deeply rooted by my own ancestors
That they have become a catapult
An explosion of sticky wet truth
Like an orgasm at just the right time
I will not wallow I will not beg
I will not stop until the truth spores inside so many crevices
They’ll never forget it
Finally in love with me. From inside the depths of my soul to my roots of curls. I’ve waited so long to feel so healthy, so healed, and so ready to take on life. I thought and planned that by the time I got here I’d be celebrating with you. Maybe you weren’t meant to be part of this celebration. Maybe all the times you made me feel like shit for healing brought us to this.
Aw well, let the celebrating commence!!!
1. Allow yourself to fall. Cry, scream, nap, do self care.
2. Get healthy. Healthy diet and exercise help with a healthy mind.
3. Talk it out. Find someone who is in a healthy place emotionally to talk it out.
4. Set goals to focus on for the next year. Not so focused they become a crutch just a means to move forward.
5. Surround yourself with communities that share your interests.
6. Trust your gut. When something doesn’t feel right, trust that. Don’t let people take advantage of your vulnerable state. If they weren’t there through the struggle chances are they won’t be there through the healing.
7. Move forward. Stay away from environments that no longer serve you. Learn the signs and patterns of toxic behaviors and set boundaries immediately so you don’t end up in the same situations over and over again.
8. Learn to be ok alone. Become your own best friend. Learn yourself. Take up hobbies. Feed your brain.
The Art of Letting Go
There’s too much to narrow it down to one thing
I could be sitting in a car doing nothing
Or flying to a new country
I could ski or become political
I could be so many feelings
For so many reasons
But today I choose to just be
I just am
The earth opened up and pushed me over the edge. The dark was dark and only a seed of hope rested in my back pocket. Words swirled and spun around me, but I climbed and screamed and fought. I made it out and not one step was alone, even though at times I felt lonely. My nails were rugged and my gritted teeth cracked. But here I am, a little wiser, a little more gentle, and a lot more understanding.
What is it that I do not say
Mouth slammed shut like my tongue is a trapped mouse
the most important thoughts lead out to the ocean
Here’s my hand please see inside me
Help me filter through the bullshit
So I can finally say what I want to say