I will stand on the shoulders of my enemies

To place the angel delicately a top my Christmas tree

Their selfish acts beside mine

Only my acts so deeply rooted by my own ancestors

That they have become a catapult

An explosion of sticky wet truth

Like an orgasm at just the right time

I will not wallow I will not beg

I will not stop until the truth spores inside so many crevices

They’ll never forget it

-Saschia

Thought and Planned

Finally in love with me. From inside the depths of my soul to my roots of curls. I’ve waited so long to feel so healthy, so healed, and so ready to take on life. I thought and planned that by the time I got here I’d be celebrating with you. Maybe you weren’t meant to be part of this celebration. Maybe all the times you made me feel like shit for healing brought us to this.

Aw well, let the celebrating commence!!!

8 Ways To Fall Forward

1. Allow yourself to fall. Cry, scream, nap, do self care.

2. Get healthy. Healthy diet and exercise help with a healthy mind.

3. Talk it out. Find someone who is in a healthy place emotionally to talk it out.

4. Set goals to focus on for the next year. Not so focused they become a crutch just a means to move forward.

5. Surround yourself with communities that share your interests. 

6. Trust your gut. When something doesn’t feel right, trust that. Don’t let people take advantage of your vulnerable state. If they weren’t there through the struggle chances are they won’t be there through the healing.

7. Move forward. Stay away from environments that no longer serve you. Learn the signs and patterns of toxic behaviors and set boundaries immediately so you don’t end up in the same situations over and over again.

8. Learn to be ok alone. Become your own best friend. Learn yourself. Take up hobbies. Feed your brain.

 

 

The Art of Letting Go

Bad Guys -On Writing

You -have- to love your monster.

Philippa Dowding, Everton Miles Is Stranger Than Me: The Night Flyer’s Handboo

I’m struggling to figure out who or what I want the bad guy to be in my short stories. In a huge chunk of my short stories I tended to make my narrator the bad guy, but maybe it’s time to switch roles. Maybe it’s time for my narrator to do some things right and set some things straight. However, when I start writing it, I’m going to have to be confident in my narrator and believe she’s capable of those things. And then there’s always why switch roles now? When did the roles reverse? And has my narrator collected enough souvenirs to be consistent in her new role. Either way, she’s madly in love with her monster which makes it hard to write him as the villain.

How do you create a villain you love in your stories?

Growing Pains

The earth opened up and pushed me over the edge. The dark was dark and only a seed of hope rested in my back pocket. Words swirled and spun around me, but I climbed and screamed and fought. I made it out and not one step was alone, even though at times I felt lonely. My nails were rugged and my gritted teeth cracked. But here I am, a little wiser, a little more gentle, and a lot more understanding.