I don’t believe people are looking for the meaning of life as much as they are looking for the experience of being alive. — Joseph Campbell
I have spent far too long waiting for my life to finally begin.
We are going to die, and I refuse to live one more minute of my life keeping my mouth shut in order not to ruffle any feathers. If my mouth ruffles your feathers, get out of the way because this mouth isn’t going to close. I’m going to say exactly how I feel. I’m going to explain why I’m upset. I’m going to walk away from the things that try to make me smaller than I was when I woke up. I’m not hiding my voice anymore.
Joseph Campbell said,
The big question is whether you are going to be able to say a hearty yes to your adventure.
I’m going to say yes to being alive. I’m going to dive headfirst out of a plane in the sky. I’m going to approach the tough topics no one else wants to talk about. I’m not just going to approach them I’m going to rip those topics out of everyone’s minds and place them front and center so they have nothing else to look at but the ugly truth.
Being alive for me means walking down as many paths as I can. Finding as many stories as I can. And bringing people along with me here and there for the ride. We’re here, on this flying rock together, but most of the searching is done alone. My only interests in life are for my own growth, to admire the growth of others, and to do it all with as much hard work and enjoyment at possible.
I sign off with words from the great Hunter Thompson,
Buy the ticket, take the ride.
Life sucks, but in a beautiful kind of way.” — Axl Rose
Life can be a fucker. It can destroy everything you thought you had in an instant. It could take all your hard work and set it on fire leaving you standing there with tears in your eyes watching as it turns to ash.
Life doesn’t care about you. Life isn’t a being. You are a being. You are the one that feels what life takes from you. And you are the one that puts in the effort and hard work to create everything you’ve dreamed of.
And that’s what makes you great. The fact that you are aware of your effort and hard work. The fact that you feel so broken when your hard work goes up in flames and burns to ash right in front of your eyes, is the gift. Sometimes it’s hard work, sometimes it’s just life mowing you down to your last nerve. But you feel it.
That fact that you feel it means
When I was a little girl I was scared of everything. After I had my first daughter, I realized I was capable of so much more than I thought. Not only did I push her out naturally, but I also successfully breastfed her for a year while working full time. The world became my oyster and that’s when I began to face my fears.
In life there’s going to be times when people look you in the eye and try their best to tear you apart. And they might succeed in that moment, but they lost the war to win this tiny insignificant battle.
You are the embodiment
Of the Egyptian godesses
You hold light and life
In the base of your belly
Be proud of where you came from
You didn’t come from cupcakes
You came from pain
It’s time to rise
It’s time to be exactly who you were meant to be all along
You needed rest
So I gave it to you
Now, hop back on the bike
And enjoy the sights
Feel the breeze
And let your spirit
I am my own vessel
At all times
I am capable
of navigating the open ocean
I can be the captain
And face the storm
I can let someone else
Lead my vessel
That choice is always
Self-doubt is a bitch
She sneaks up on you with questions
Simple logical questions
And then she brings in reason
And your well-meaning friends
That’s when everything you wanted to do becomes a mountain
Do it anyway
Fuck self-doubt and all her questions
I will stand on the shoulders of my enemies
To place the angel delicately a top my Christmas tree
Their selfish acts beside mine
Only my acts so deeply rooted by my own ancestors
That they have become a catapult
An explosion of sticky wet truth
Like an orgasm at just the right time
I will not wallow I will not beg
I will not stop until the truth spores inside so many crevices
They’ll never forget it