I Crave

I crave instant gratification and

the lure of feel good meetings

with hollow words.

I want those things too

And sometimes I do indulge.

But it all leads to an empty that aches.

You know,

those scratches you can’t itch

And even though I know this,

I still have to remind myself

those things are empty

and that I’m better off home

creating something of substance

 

-Saschia

Ruined

The makeup drips down her face

Black tears

There’s more to all this

She knows it

She feels it in her bones

Even though it was wrong

She knows that too

But there was this push much stronger than before

An urge she’s never felt

She wasn’t herself or was she

Is this what being alive feels like?

It comes and goes, that feeling

Alive, is fighting the urge. It’s the torment you feel when you walk away. When he walks away. That is the alive. But, to give in, to go wherever you are pushed, that is no more than a dead leaf in the wind. Stripped from the branches. Stripped from life itself.

This moment you have as a dead leaf is your chance to fall apart, to sink into the soil, and to become part of the regrowth next spring.

You are not ruined

-Saschia