The blankets, slept in. The air thick with smoke from the magical stuff that turns your mind inward, too inward if you let it. I wouldn’t know, I’m more of a bore. The stale sweat rubs me in every wrong way while I tell myself I’m there for some divine reason. A few drops of blood drip from the crown of his head. Flashes of sex. Flashes of nude bones and rolling hills course through me like biblical visions from above. I don’t dare ask. And here he comes with all the magic and an entire universe behind his eyes that a few of us are lucky enough to see. I respect you, is what I wish to say. I like you- like you, is what I wish to say, but instead I talk about Chipotle. I want him and he wants me but I want more. The stink of stale sex and that feeling of whether he’ll be there tomorrow plagues me enough without it. “Not tonight, okay?” And that was ok. And it was ok. Like it should be. But it’s not the sex that connect us. The sadness that sits inside him reaches the depths of hell and the arms he wraps me in feel like the sun and the moon. He is an entire universe I’ll only ever leave in body because my mind wanders towards him in the most sacred ways. So sacred, it doesn’t feel right.
Tag: sex
Your Wife III
She pokes and prods
Yells and screams
She wants sex
She wants to feel sexy
And dinner out
And he worked
he worked his ass off
But she wants wants wants
And the kids are hungry
And work is calling while they sit at the dinner table
Chicken and salad…. again
He’s glad he got fast food
But now she’s hurt and mad and sad
And needs attention
But he’s tired and she understands
So she cries in the bedroom with the baby
because she knows she’s too much
She wants to be more
To cook better
To look better with her hair and nails done
She nods off
baby on lap
Daughter in bed
Mom in chair
Dad somewhere she hopes is comfortable enough for him to get rest
So maybe just maybe tomorrow
he’ll finally have the energy to put up with her
Maybe he’ll even bring flowers
-Saschia
Know Yourself/Share Yourself
There are a million people that will love you and see you the way I do.
You are not stuck with one person
they are not the only one who can understand you.
But it is your job to understand you.
When you understand you and accept you
it doesn’t matter so much when others don’t
And then when those few people come along
who want to know every inch of the folds inside your skull
you’ll be able to tell them who you are
the idea of listening to you talk about who you were
and who you are
and who you wish to become
sounds like a conversation that’d peel me right open
let’s talk
We Us Ours
These arms are meant to be wrapped around you
These lips are meant to be pressed against your skin
This mind is meant to be mingled with yours
Dear Lover
The life you desire doesn’t exist with me
It makes me sad I’m not the one for you
I’ve no desire to grow into something created for you
I’ve stepped away from the crowd
I spend nights on the outskirts of town
Contemplating the darkness within me
I’ve nothing to give but words on words
The only guarantee here is that the end is always near
The only promise I can give is that I will continue searching til my lids close and no longer open
Even then I hope the search continues
I’m not the one for you
I wasn’t placed on this planet for you
My place is separate and set apart from the rest
But I do hope to be wrapped up in you from time to time to ease the pains of constant shedding
But sometimes
I’m shedding you
-Saschia
Cravings
I’m just here for the chocolate
and you
I do enjoy a good truffle
Or a gummy bear with the perfect texture
But you
I’ve never tasted anything like you
I’ve had gummies and chocolates
Chocolate covered gummies
Nothing like you though
Then there’s the whole thing where
Too much candy gives me a belly ache
Too much of you though?
Well, you make me feel alive
I think I might even be healthier
When I’ve had my bit of you
It’s never enough
Neither things
I always want more candy
And I always want more you
-Saschia
Not Your Wife III
He wants her
her long black hair and brown eyes
Her propped up tits pushed together like cuddling lovers
He wants all of her
Not one ounce of her soul though
She can keep that locked up with the bats
Far away from his la dee dah soul
La dee dah cuz he lost it years ago I mean sometimes we get a glimpse but most times it’s not near
He just wants her body and her good deeds
And her good days
And her beliefs but only if they’re proper
He wants her sex
And he’d do a lot for it
Just like the rest
He jimmies his Jimmie to so many images
And if yall knew the things he did to those woman in his mind
You’d feel less alone cuz you probably do it too
And with his deflated balls emptied he’ll emerge from the bathroom
with his rules and suggestions
Of how she should wear her hair
And how she should make her choices
He places women below him while he shits
Then returns to tell her how to live a righteous life
He is as false as the words that plunk to the ground when he talks
-Sasch
Wall Art
It always matters
it’s always a big deal
hearts souls sex
chance encounters
those skipped heartbeats
grasp em
collect them
hang em on the wall
as reminders of the times
you’ve once lived
-Sasch
I Crave
I crave instant gratification and
the lure of feel good meetings
with hollow words.
I want those things too
And sometimes I do indulge.
But it all leads to an empty that aches.
You know,
those scratches you can’t itch
And even though I know this,
I still have to remind myself
those things are empty
and that I’m better off home
creating something of substance
-Saschia
Ruined
The makeup drips down her face
Black tears
There’s more to all this
She knows it
She feels it in her bones
Even though it was wrong
She knows that too
But there was this push much stronger than before
An urge she’s never felt
She wasn’t herself or was she
Is this what being alive feels like?
It comes and goes, that feeling
Alive, is fighting the urge. It’s the torment you feel when you walk away. When he walks away. That is the alive. But, to give in, to go wherever you are pushed, that is no more than a dead leaf in the wind. Stripped from the branches. Stripped from life itself.
This moment you have as a dead leaf is your chance to fall apart, to sink into the soil, and to become part of the regrowth next spring.
You are not ruined
-Saschia