8 Ways To Fall Forward

1. Allow yourself to fall. Cry, scream, nap, do self care.

2. Get healthy. Healthy diet and exercise help with a healthy mind.

3. Talk it out. Find someone who is in a healthy place emotionally to talk it out.

4. Set goals to focus on for the next year. Not so focused they become a crutch just a means to move forward.

5. Surround yourself with communities that share your interests. 

6. Trust your gut. When something doesn’t feel right, trust that. Don’t let people take advantage of your vulnerable state. If they weren’t there through the struggle chances are they won’t be there through the healing.

7. Move forward. Stay away from environments that no longer serve you. Learn the signs and patterns of toxic behaviors and set boundaries immediately so you don’t end up in the same situations over and over again.

8. Learn to be ok alone. Become your own best friend. Learn yourself. Take up hobbies. Feed your brain.

 

 

The Art of Letting Go

A Woman

Take away the dishes

The wife-ing

The mothering

And you’re left with

A writer

An artist

!A REVOLUTIONARY

Who dreams of sowing thought

respect

And empathy back into our existence

She grasps for words

And stories

She grasps for experiences

She fails

She falls she rises

Over and over again

She is a woman

She is an entire future stitched together with all the labels she’s out grown

-Saschia

Your Wife III

She pokes and prods

Yells and screams

She wants sex

She wants to feel sexy

And dinner out

And he worked

he worked his ass off

But she wants wants wants

And the kids are hungry

And work is calling while they sit at the dinner table

Chicken and salad…. again

He’s glad he got fast food

But now she’s hurt and mad and sad

And needs attention

But he’s tired and she understands

So she cries in the bedroom with the baby

because she knows she’s too much

She wants to be more

To cook better

To look better with her hair and nails done

She nods off

baby on lap

Daughter in bed

Mom in chair

Dad somewhere she hopes is comfortable enough for him to get rest

So maybe just maybe tomorrow

he’ll finally have the energy to put up with her

Maybe he’ll even bring flowers

-Saschia

Your Wife II

His waves crash

Like an ancient melody

They play my song

They pull me in

I dive and dive

Only to be denied

I sit I cry

I beg and plead

Open up to me

I’m left drenched with a

Mouth full of sea foam

Drowning in an eerie silence

I’ve become a pirate

Forever in love with circling

His seas

-Saschia

Not Your Wife III

He wants her

her long black hair and brown eyes

Her propped up tits pushed together like cuddling lovers

He wants all of her

Not one ounce of her soul though

She can keep that locked up with the bats

Far away from his la dee dah soul

La dee dah cuz he lost it years ago I mean sometimes we get a glimpse but most times it’s not near

He just wants her body and her good deeds

And her good days

And her beliefs but only if they’re proper

He wants her sex

And he’d do a lot for it

Just like the rest

He jimmies his Jimmie to so many images

And if yall knew the things he did to those woman in his mind

You’d feel less alone cuz you probably do it too

And with his deflated balls emptied he’ll emerge from the bathroom

with his rules and suggestions

Of how she should wear her hair

And how she should make her choices

He places women below him while he shits

Then returns to tell her how to live a righteous life

He is as false as the words that plunk to the ground when he talks

-Sasch

Diary Of A Tamed Temper

She’s anxiety, rage, and shame all balled into a fireball of untamed magic

And when she pays me a visit

I reach and I twitch

And I grasp at my heart to try and save me

When she comes

I can do nothing but beg for the truth

And I know it’s somewhere close by

So I let it guide me

And I search and I listen

I take it all in

Truth’s lessons

truth’s hurts and truth’s gifts

Till it leads me

To where I’m supposed to be

Till I’m grounded once again

And that’s when

I feel the waters calm

I hear the rains subside

I slowly breathe in watching my chest rise

Ahh…. I breathe out

It’s calm

I breathe in

And I take time

To appreciate my calm because it feels good to be there once again

-Saschia

Where Am I

I’ve reached a place in my life where I’m more full, more myself, and more humble than I’ve ever been. I feel so me. The self that loved with no expectations. The girl before her first heartbreak. It’s as if I’m getting a second chance at life and love and following my dreams. Life isn’t always so kind, so all I can do is hope it lasts and hope I can hang onto this as long as I can. Maybe life will be so kind, who knows? All I know, is I want to wake up, I want to sleep, and I get chills when I finally get to sit down and carve away at my craft. This is all so temporary, I had to write it down. I had leave proof. There is hope after allowing yourself to heal. There is life after an affair. Value isn’t lost because someone doesn’t appreciate it. And it’s ok to feel fuller and wiser and more yourself once you get through.

Yay me!

She’s a Pretty Mistress

She wasn’t ugly

Not by far

Actually, she had a pretty face

A face you’d see in the mall

Maybe the girl across from you

buying panties and a bra

You know

the one you smile at and politely

say excuse me to

She looks like she could be

your favorite cashier

Or someone who got straight A’s

in highschool

She and I

We both felt that powerless sting

We both sat and wondered

What it is we did

to be left

Was it the sex

Was it something we said

Both forgotten

After so much effort

And of course

We should have known

I mean, we knew

We knew he wouldn’t stick around

And someday another woman

would come

Maybe the new girl will have

the same basic name as hers

Because it’s highly unlikely

to be the same as mine

in spelling at the least

But still

the powerlessness

It feels like bondage

And no

she and I

we do not compare

Maybe in another world

In another place

In another time

My face is no basic face

And my body meticulously sculpted

by babies

Some dead some alive

And so while we are connected

she and I

By the same

Powerlessness a man has brought to us

We are not one in the same

And I hope and pray

That I never make the same mistake

She did

Of falling for a married man

And acting on it

-Saschia