Emotionally Absent

It’s like

Shouting into the wind

I shared and I shared

And I yelled and I screamed

Not even an echo returned

Just breath

Not even silence

And I noticed the other day

How you gave me a hint

Just a tiny peak inside your mind

All for a fuck

You knew my weakness

I’m learning though.

I see now

how you’ve made it so far

Without being present

-Sasch

Separation

Things divided

Silverware blankets

random living supplies

But you can’t divide children

Here’s your mail

And your time

But these humans

we have to share

We could be fair about it

But let’s be honest

Life’s not fair

Values aren’t shared

So this is yours

And that is mine

See you the next time

we share the kids

-Saschia

Speak

If I could

I would take your anxieties wrap them up tight and throw them in the ocean

I’d take your sadness and carry them to the grave

And I’d fight every single battle you were too scared to face

But I wasn’t placed here to be your savior

I can’t wrap my hands around your feelings

No matter how bad I want to

So throw your anxieties, carry your sadness, and face your battles

And tell me everything because I want to hear you speak of your thoughts and feelings

and I want to hear how you conquer them

-Sasch

I will stand on the shoulders of my enemies

To place the angel delicately a top my Christmas tree

Their selfish acts beside mine

Only my acts so deeply rooted by my own ancestors

That they have become a catapult

An explosion of sticky wet truth

Like an orgasm at just the right time

I will not wallow I will not beg

I will not stop until the truth spores inside so many crevices

They’ll never forget it

-Saschia

Thought and Planned

Finally in love with me. From inside the depths of my soul to my roots of curls. I’ve waited so long to feel so healthy, so healed, and so ready to take on life. I thought and planned that by the time I got here I’d be celebrating with you. Maybe you weren’t meant to be part of this celebration. Maybe all the times you made me feel like shit for healing brought us to this.

Aw well, let the celebrating commence!!!

8 Ways To Fall Forward

1. Allow yourself to fall. Cry, scream, nap, do self care.

2. Get healthy. Healthy diet and exercise help with a healthy mind.

3. Talk it out. Find someone who is in a healthy place emotionally to talk it out.

4. Set goals to focus on for the next year. Not so focused they become a crutch just a means to move forward.

5. Surround yourself with communities that share your interests. 

6. Trust your gut. When something doesn’t feel right, trust that. Don’t let people take advantage of your vulnerable state. If they weren’t there through the struggle chances are they won’t be there through the healing.

7. Move forward. Stay away from environments that no longer serve you. Learn the signs and patterns of toxic behaviors and set boundaries immediately so you don’t end up in the same situations over and over again.

8. Learn to be ok alone. Become your own best friend. Learn yourself. Take up hobbies. Feed your brain.

 

 

The Art of Letting Go

Growing Pains

The earth opened up and pushed me over the edge. The dark was dark and only a seed of hope rested in my back pocket. Words swirled and spun around me, but I climbed and screamed and fought. I made it out and not one step was alone, even though at times I felt lonely. My nails were rugged and my gritted teeth cracked. But here I am, a little wiser, a little more gentle, and a lot more understanding.